Today is the first day of the rest of my diet!
This diet has become such a way of life for me, that I feel a little bit like I'm too comfortable with it. I know what I can and can't do, I know what I can throw in and not mess things up too badly, and I choose sometimes to go off program. All of this has led to a self-induced plateau, and I need to get to the bottom of the reasons why I'm hesitant to lose the rest of my weight. I have 20 lbs to goal, technically. I know that with hard work and staying on program 100% I can probably get there by my Birthday in October (October 22nd). What a great birthday present that would be.
On the other hand, if I keep being a little "loosey goosey" in my choices I won't get there EVER! I'll still be hanging out at 138 when I turn 38. And honestly? I'd like my present to myself to be that I am at goal and beginning transition. I really would.
So. Today marks a day of renewed recommittment for me.
I think part of my response is a stress response to venturing into the unknown again with Julian. He has reached the point where he needs dialysis, and we will be consulting with his urologist and his nephrologist this week, to decide whether or not to do his bladder surgery at the same time that the dialysis port (the peritoneal dialysis port) is installed in his abdomen. This is scary. I need to remember that food won't fix the problem. Sun Butter won't make it go away, make it better, or make me any more lucid or available to care for my sons' needs. We will have to undergo a couple weeks of training at the Children's Hospital in order to be able to do the dialysis at night at home, every night, while he is sleeping.
So. I will eat my MF meals today. I will eat my L&G today. I will drink my water today. I will do all of it.
Take care.
On the other hand, if I keep being a little "loosey goosey" in my choices I won't get there EVER! I'll still be hanging out at 138 when I turn 38. And honestly? I'd like my present to myself to be that I am at goal and beginning transition. I really would.
So. Today marks a day of renewed recommittment for me.
I think part of my response is a stress response to venturing into the unknown again with Julian. He has reached the point where he needs dialysis, and we will be consulting with his urologist and his nephrologist this week, to decide whether or not to do his bladder surgery at the same time that the dialysis port (the peritoneal dialysis port) is installed in his abdomen. This is scary. I need to remember that food won't fix the problem. Sun Butter won't make it go away, make it better, or make me any more lucid or available to care for my sons' needs. We will have to undergo a couple weeks of training at the Children's Hospital in order to be able to do the dialysis at night at home, every night, while he is sleeping.
So. I will eat my MF meals today. I will eat my L&G today. I will drink my water today. I will do all of it.
Take care.
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