What's Wrong With This Thinking?

Let's say I have a friend named Janice who decides to become a writer.  Every morning she gets up at 5:00 am to write for 2 hours before work.  Every single morning.  In six months, she has written 2 Children's Books, and has begun working on her Novel.  Every morning she gets up and writes.  She is a writer.

One morning she fails to get up.  Her alarm clock doesn't go off because for one single night she forgets to set it, and she wakes up in a panic at 7:15.

She is devastated.  She determines that she must not be a writer after all.  She determines that it is all for nothing, she'll never TRULY succeed at writing.  She has broken her routine for one day, and throws the towel in, deciding that even though being an author was the most important thing in the world for her, since she has missed a day she may as well give up.

What would you tell this lady?  Would you point out how ridiculous it is that she even think that way?

Would you point out the success she's had?  The progress she's made?  The 24 weeks that she HAS been working diligently towards her goal?  She made one mistake.  She forgot to set her alarm.  That does not change the essence of who she is or what she wants.

And the same thing applies to us.  Janice is an example of all-or-nothing thinking as applied to something neutral, something other than food and "dieting" otherwise we would not have recognized the erroneous thinking.

We are Janice, aren't we?  With our programs?  We have one off day, or one discouraging weigh in, or we make one choice as regards our food intake which doesn't line up with where we said we wanted to go, and we go from having ALL hope to LOSING all hope.  We go from SUCCEEDING to DESPAIR.

I'll let you in on a little secret.  I used to be an all-or-nothing gal.  I was Janice.  And I was usually left with nothing.

So I decided that it is more important to continue to decide today, right now, which direction I will head.  The fact that I forgot to set my alarm clock and get up at 5:00 yesterday to write doesn't mean I don't want to be a writer, or I won't succeed at being a writer.  Yet we tend to ascribe to that way of thinking with our health.

As Epictetus says, "First say what it is you would be.  Then do what you have to do."

So forget any lapse of program or judgment you may have made yesterday, or last weekend, or a month ago that you may not have recovered from.  Did it deal you a blow?  Well, sure it did.  But it doesn't have to mean you put the ka-bosh on all of the hopes and dreams you have for yourself as regards your weight, as regards your health, does it? 

Does it?

If You Are Reading This And Feel Like a Failure...

......Then this blog is for you.

I know how you feel.  But I want you to know this.  It doesn't matter how much weight you have gained back.  It is NEVER too late to start again.  To make the decision.  To grasp on to hope.  To try it ONE.  MORE.  TIME.

If you are going to attempt it, though, you will NEED to get a copy of the book "Dr. A's Habits of Health".

It is the best tool you can have in your arsenal to beat this thing and adopt Healthy Habits which will carry you to your dreams.

I've been where you are.  I gained ALL my weight back.  All 140 pounds.  After white-knuckling it and having a steely resolve for 14 months I had lost 140 pounds.  Then my life fell apart and I did not have the coping mechanisms in place to deal with it.  So up I went.  All of it.  +4 more pounds just to add insult to injury.

Then one day I found the courage to try again.  So I did.  I got the extra support I needed, I bought the book.  And I did it. 

One day at a time, but it did start with that decision to not treat this as another diet, but instead to make it a way of life.

I see all of the eye-rolls out there, the "Yeah, I've heard that over and over and I don't even GET what you MEAN by saying that!  It is so cliche!"

I did not grasp fully what that meant until I made the decision to find out.  To read the book.  To get rid of my "diet" mentality and shift to small incremental sustainable changes in my day that I could repeat daily for the rest of my life.  Moving more.  Eating 6 times a day.  Eating breakfast, etc.

What I DIDN'T do:

*Kill myself at the gym or start any extreme exercise regimen that I could not sustain for the rest of my life
*Beat myself up if I slipped here or there
*Give up

So be encouraged.  If you are lurking on these boards, having lost XXX amount of weight on Medifast, or any other program a year or a few years ago, and wishing you could "get back there" and have that zeal you had the first time FORGET THE ZEAL.  I never experienced that "Go get 'em I'm super hyper motivated" feeling the second time....but I still did the work.  Because it is the WORK, the DAILY ACTION that gets you there, based on your quiet commitment, based on doing what you said you were going to do.  You don't have to be super enthusiastic about it.  So don't wait for that feeling.  Just rip open a Medifast Meal, if you have a few in your pantry....just open what you have and START.   It will work whether you feel like it will or not, provided you do the work.  =)

So contact me, let's order your next month of supplies right away, and you can also be on your way.  My website is www.healthcoachstacyphillips.tsfl.com and when you order through that site I become your Health Coach!  I'll contact you after receiving notice of the order, and we can get going!  And don't forget to add Dr. A's Habits of Health in your order.  You won't regret it.  =)

Get Up! Take a Stand For Yourself! Be Brave! You Are Worth It!

If you aren't going to take a stand for yourself, who will?

I think many of us believe we are not worth fighting for, and so we don't even fight for ourselves.

I also think those of us who are morbidly obese don't truly understand that we could die today.  I mean it.  Die TODAY.

Oh, we are relatively healthy, we think.  Until we aren't.  Until we have a stroke.  Or a sudden cardiac event which could result in death.  Or we get that cancer diagnosis.

Did we know that the risk for ALL of these  things is drastically reduced if we are NOT obese?  Sure we did.  We just didn't think it would happen to US.

I was there, I was class III morbidly obese, I remember what I thought and felt.  And oddly enough I felt like I was relatively healthy.  That I just needed to lose a little weight, you know, to feel better about myself.

I was kidding myself.

If you are reading this, and you have a BMI of 35 or higher, I need to tell you this as lovingly and compassionately as I can.  You don't gotta lose this weight for vanity, hon, you gotta lose this weight to

SAVE.

YOUR.

LIFE.

Will you listen to me?  I don't know.  Will you get all discouraged today because the process isn't happening fast enough for you?  Are you mad because you can't be skinny tomorrow so you might as well eat this cake today and enjoy yourself? 

YOU.

ARE.

KILLING.

YOURSELF.

Someone had to say it.  Your family is too scared you'll get angry with them.  Your Doctor is so demoralized with fat people coming in his office every day who don't listen to what he says that he may have stopped even saying it.  Heck, you don't even listen to that inner voice you squelched so long ago that is telling you the same thing, because hey, you woke up today, didn't you? 

Be your own hero.  Save your life.  Take a stand for yourself.  You ARE worth it.

Do You....

....Eat when you are happy?  Eat when you are sad?  Eat when you are lonely?  Eat when you are bored?  Eat when you are stressed?  Eat when you celebrate?  Eat when you feel ashamed?  Eat when you have success?  Eat when you are tired? 

Those of us who can say "yes" to the above have a "relationship" with food.  I was going to say an "unhealthy relationship" but then I changed my mind.  Why?  Because I think that ANY "relationship" we project on to food is just fooling ourselves, and is unhealthy anyway.  No two ways about it.

We have used food for much of our lives to insulate ourselves from...life.

It's time to break those chains, it's time to admit that it is impossible to have a relationship with an inanimate object and let's go pour our energy in to other people, in actual RELATIONSHIPS.

Let's stop getting lost inside our own heads, let's stop defining out entire day based on what we ARE or AREN'T eating, and let's go out and LIVE a little bit. 

You may find you enjoy it.   =)

Have a great week!

Get Up And Bite the Nail....

"Get up and bite on the nail.  Write every day.  No matter what has happened the day or the night before."  - Earnest Hemmingway

So do you ever just have those mornings where you wake up and think to yourself "Hmmmm....THAT could have certainly gone better than it did....."

When these mornings come, sometimes I am tempted to act today in a manner consistent with the disappointment of yesterday.  Then I think of Earnest Hemmingway.

Every day that man got up and wrote.  He wrote something.  He sat down in his chair, he looked at a blank page, and decided what it was he was going to create that day using words.

And we all know the results of his dedication.

So every day I wake up I also decide what I am going to create that day in my health, using the tool of the Medifast 5&1 Plan.  I will not get it all done in one day.  I MAY not have had success 100% of the time the day before.  But that does NOT determine my actions TODAY.

You know what I think?  I think sometimes we let the burdens of our past "failures" pile up on our backs, and one day that last straw just rears its ugly head and down we go in a heap of disappointment and regret.

Recognizing that possibility, I keep a short record of accounts with myself.  Meaning that "forgiveness" and "grace" are words that I actually apply.....to me.

Because if we let those burdens stack up, then they weigh us down TODAY, and it negatively effects our attitude TODAY, which is when we most need to show up for ourselves.  Today.

Did you have a rough weekend plan-wise?  Did you make some choices that were not conducive to the direction you want to take your health?  Your life?

Please PLEASE don't carry it in to your week.  Please PLEASE don't collapse  under the burden of regret or disappointment and just throw the towel in on yourself, on your dreams.

Today is a new day.  Its worries and its triumphs are a blank slate.  YOU create what you want today in your health.  YOU decide whether your actions today will take you closer to your goal of optimal health or farther from it.

I choose to move forward.  How about you?

Is My Goal "To Lose Weight" or Is My Goal "To Attain And Maintain A Healthy Weight"?

On the surface of it, at first glance, the title of this blog may seem to be a redundant question repeated in a different way.

It is SO not.

For most of my life, I have always had the goal of "losing weight".  Therefore, the only measure of my success or failure was whether or not I was in fact, losing weight.

That thrill, that rush of success always accompanied a drop on the scale.  And those days that the scale didn't drop?  Well, they were let downs.  My bubble was always burst for that day.  Because I hadn't "Lost Weight."

Even the first time I did the program and lost 140 pounds, I felt a raging success...because I had "lost weight".

Made me think about what is really different this time around, and I realize that through reading Dr. A's Habits of Health and thinking about my long term goals I am a totally different person with a totally different perspective now. 

You see, if I had only kept my goal as "losing weight" then the only REAL way I could ever feel successful is to KEEP losing weight.  And that necessitates a regain of the lost weight at some point in there because when I was at my goal weight I had run out of weight to lose, run out of ways to FEEL successful.

So I created a new opportunity for success, in regaining the weight.

That is not happening this time, since I have experienced a paradigm shift of my goals.  My goal now is not just to attain a healthy weight (done!) but to MAINTAIN a healthy weight. 

So maintaining the healthy weight is my main concern, and showing others that it is possible to attain AND maintain a healthy weight is part of my life mission now.

So have you experienced a paradigm shift?  Do you desire optimal health?  Have you defined what that means to you?  Or is your goal not yet made it past "To Lose Weight?"

Some things to think on....

Create a great weekend!

First Say What You Would Be. Then Do What You Need To Do.

I know I've talked about Epictetus before, but I just have to say it again. 

Epictetus is the quintessential "create your life" philosopher.  He is so matter-of-fact about it, too.  So much so I just think "well, DUH!" 

First step, FIRST STEP is to "Say what you would be."

How many of us have not done this yet?  How many of us have used the old fallback "I want to lose weight" as our reason for doing this plan?

It isn't enough.

I say again, it isn't enough.  The desire to lose weight is like saying "I just want to drive my car" or "I just want to fly in an airplane".

No, you don't.  Road trips are draining, and air travel is twice as draining, and many of us don't like either of them.  But the destination, the REASON that necessitates the road trip or the air travel IS compelling, and in order to get there we submit to road trips and air travel.

So if your reason to be on this plan is "to lose weight" then I am asking you to go to STEP ONE of Epictetus. 

Say.  What.  You.  Would.  BE.

Not what you ARE now, not what you are ESCAPING from, not what you wish would go AWAY (medications, size 26 jeans, poor health), but who you want to be.  What you want to be.  Where you want to go.

We all know the "how" so "losing weight" is a process not an outcome.  What is our outcome?

Unless we have a crystal clear picture of what we want to be, then we really have no compelling reason to even move on to step 2 which is to:

Do.  What.  You.  Need.  To.  Do.

The operative word there is "Do".  How many of us are "wishing" we would stay on plan?  How many of us are "hoping" we stay on plan today?

Well let me give you a friendly reminder.  Wishing and Hoping are NOT strategies.  If they are not accompanied by ACTION then we got nothin'. 

Nothin'.

So what will you DO today to bring you closer to the person you want to BE?

Now go out there and DO it!