Sunday, September 28, 2008

219. So Bummed.

Can I come to the conclusion yet that I might have an EDNOS? It is quite possible. I have gained 90 lbs in 12 months. Who does that? I lost 136 lbs in 14 months, and gained 90 of it back.

I feel so large. My back is starting to hurt. My knees hurt. I am less emotionally available for any of my family because I'm feeling sorry for myself.

We are still at the Ronald McDonald House, and the stress over the last 12 months has gotten me looking like a blow-up doll. I was at my goal of 129 on September 27th, 2007. I ran a 1/2 Marathon, the Boulder Backroads. I then found out I was pregnant in October, we were told Julian needed peritoneal dialysis in November, they did the surgery to place the catheter on the 29th, it stopped working after 10 days of training beginning on December 12th, I had my miscarriage at 12 weeks, we went to Phoenix to visit my dying Mom, we returned to Colorado and the PD catheter still didn't work, I we had the catheter taken out at the end of January, decided we were going to go to Stanford's Lucile Packard Children's Hospital for Julian's kidney transplant, we sold our house in March, my Mom died in March, Julian and I went to Lucile Packard Children's Hospital and began living at the Ronald McDonald House, in April, my Dad met a new woman in April, Julian started hemodialysis in April, Julian got a kidney transplant in May, we've been at the RMH since then, my Dad got married in July. It is now the end of September 2008 and I just returned from my Dad's wedding reception in Payson. We are leaving the RMH next Friday to go back to Colorado.

I'm getting bloodwork done next week, and starting the MF program again, full force. I will take a picture every day of my shrinking bod. I will run a marathon in Seattle next summer. I will keep a daily journal of my thoughts/feelings/intake/exercise/weight.

I begin on October 6th.