Monday, September 19, 2011

July 16th - August 7th, 2011

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand

I don't need anyone's permission to change my life. I only need to decide to do it, and then step into that decision with the conviction of my dreams.

"I pity the fool" who tries to stop me. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Today I was sharing with a friend of mine what happened to me yesterday as I was walking out of our local mall's Barnes and Noble toward my car.

Something felt, well, just not quite normal.

After a few more strides I targeted the anomaly. My arms were swinging freely by my sides when I walked...but NOT brushing any other part of my body as they swung.


If you look at my before picture on MyPage with the pink shirt you will see why it is such an unusual scenario to say my arms don't touch my body anymore when I walk.

I'm on cloud 9.

And one other thing, I received my "goal jeans" in the mail this week. I held them up and almost cried, because I KNOW I will be in them some time around Christmas/New Year. And they are hawt. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and repeat!
Sometimes that's the attitude we slip into, isn't it? I mean, we purchased the plan, it's sitting in our pantry, we start out the day having our first Medifast meal, and then sometime mid-morning, or mid-afternoon, all our good intentions fall apart.

Somehow we think that since we have those boxes, since we've invested the $$, that somehow those little boxes should do the work FOR us. After all, we paid good money for them. And why aren't they working?

Well, there is no magic in the little boxes. The little boxes are only a tool. Having them peek out at us every time we go to the pantry does not impart any fairy dust into our bodies which somehow melts the fat.

No. We must do the program. And by "The. Program." I do mean Medifast, as described in the Quick Start Guide, and as contained in the list of healthy fats/condiments that are allowed. Period.

Anything else is not the program.

Do we slip? Sometimes. But we get right back on.

And to be honest, it is those little teeny tiny almost meaningless (NOT!!!) slips day in and day out that are hurting our progress and hurting us by trampling our morale underfoot. Sooner or later we are setting ourselves up to just give up.

So what to do? Commit yourself THIS day that you will stay on plan. Then stay on plan. Rinse and Repeat.

I have taken steps throughout this weightloss journey to build around myself an environment of health. That was not the case the "first time" around.

I am truly internalizing that I AM a fit and healthy person, and that my outsides are slowly catching up with my insides. One pound at a time, one week at a time.

It is a direction I am headed, not a number on a scale.

Yesterday I decided that there was nothing more that I wanted for my Birthday in October than to attend a Health Expo in Woodland Hills, CA. My father gives me a little "Fun $$" every year for my birthday, and after figuring the Expo Pass Fee (front row seating!!!), and the flight, it came out to be almost exactly what my "Fun $$" would be.

So I talked to my husband and I reserved my seat.

I plan on moving our whole family to a more plant-based, whole-foods approach to eating once I am fully transitioned from Medifast. And I plan on beginning "Transition" on January 1st, 2012.

Also, with my current "occupation" I am finally doing what I feel IS my life's purpose. And the sense of peace and accomplishment that is flowing from the choice to walk down the path I am on is almost overwhelming.

I am joyful. I am at peace. I am working toward health and wholeness for our entire family. And I still have 45 pounds to go! Who says you have to get to "goal" to be happy?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
One of my dreams in finally getting the weight off was that I wouldn't be the largest mom in my son's kindergarten class. Vain, I know.

My son started kindergarten last year, a month after I had begun the program. Of course it was not the case that I wasn't the largest mom. I was.

But guess what? We held him back. Tee hee. Now I can say I'm not going to be the largest mom in his class.

Looking at the bright side here.... =)

Today is the only day I need to worry about. The only thought of tomorrow I even need to consider is whether I have enough Medifast meals for tomorrow LOL.

Besides that, today is all I am concerning myself with.

And today, I am doing several things:

Cleaning and organizing the kitchen and pantry
Cleaning and organizing my bedroom and closet
Taking care of myself and my son, and my husband.

And loving the process. Loving the way I can feel my hip bones beginning to emerge. Loving the way my collar bones say "hello" above the neck-line of my American Eagle T-shirt. Loving the fact that my size 28 (inches, not clothing size!) True Religion Chunky-Stitch embroidered jeans have a tracking number so that in a few days I can hang them on my closet door as my ultimate "goal jeans".

Yeah, life is good.
There was devastating 100-year flood. A man, woman and dog found themselves on the roof of their house, with the torrential waters rising fast. The man prayed to the Good Lord to save him and his family.

A few hours later, an army transport drove by, the water reaching almost all the way up it's wheels. "Sir" the soldier yelled, "would you like a ride? The waters are still rising..."

"No thank you," said the man on the roof, "The Lord will save me!"

A few hours later, as the waters rose to the top of the first floor, a boat floated by, and the boatman asked "Sir, would you like to get into the boat?"

The man replied yet again "No thank you, the Lord will save me!"

Finally, as the sun was going down and the water was up to the second story window, a helicopter flew by. Seeing the family on the roof they hovered overhead and yelled through a bullhorn "Sir! You will drown! We need to rescue you now!"

"I'll be fine" the man said, "I've got time, and besides, I've asked the Lord to save me! I have faith that He will!"

When it was pitch black, and the water was continuing to rise, the man inquired of the Lord "Lord, I've prayed these three times for you to save me! Why haven't you done it?"

The Lord replied "I sent a truck, then a boat, then a helicopter. You didn't get in any of them."

This is how I feel about Medifast. This was my truck, my boat, and my helicopter. And it is for many people, but many people also don't understand that they need to utilize the tools that are being given to them. There IS an "our part" in our healing and in our moving toward health, and if we don't DO that work, then we will continue being what we have always been. Fat and sad. =(

So let's do our part today. Let's get on that Medifast wagon. It is going in the direction we want to go.
So many things have changed in the last year I can't even begin to count them all. But here are a few that come to mind after having lost 100+ pounds.

1) I can run 30 minutes instead of not even 30 seconds
2) My PAD early symptoms have disappeared
3) I carry myself with confidence and good posture
4) I smile at everyone unintentionally instead of glaring at them unintentionally
5) I can wear size 10 jeans instead of size 26 (or, truth be told, I should have been wearing 28's if I were honest back then)
6) I weigh less than my drivers license says I do (who was I kidding, anyway?)
7) I run a successful small business whereas I would not have had the vision to do that last year
8) I live each day deliberately and on purpose, instead of on autopilot and by accident

I am thankful to my God, who has given me His strength to back up MY good decisions. He won't do it for me, but once I have made the choice to stay on the path, He will keep my foot from faltering.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

I may not be able to lose 104 pounds, but I CAN lose 2 lbs 52 times!

A shout out to Sidanne, who posted this comment on my blog yesterday! It really struck me as a PERFECT way to phrase my success!

I have taken this journey one day at a time. I didn't look at the enormity of the task before me, I looked at just the next 24 hours, MAX. Sometimes, I just looked at getting to the next MEAL. And I've lost 2.01 lbs/week, 52 times.

Have I been perfect? No, but I have been consistent in moving toward my goal. And my goal isn't a number. My goal is a life I am creating for myself, one that includes optimal health. I want it all. I want the health, I want the energy, I want the hope for the future. And I am experiencing the benefits of those things NOW, even though I'm not at my (number on the scale) goal!

So happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
As I was reading Bresbres's blog just now I realized that tomorrow is my one-year Medi-versary. Yay me!

I also stepped on the scale this morning to reveal another pound gone from yesterday, meaning I have hit 104 lbs lost. In 52 weeks.

Meet "Mrs. 2". I must have been THE person Medifast was talking about when they said you can expect to lose 2-5 lbs per week. I AM MRS. 2 pounds per week.

SO be encouraged. Look at my before pictures on MyPage, specifically the one in the pink shirt. That was me at 268 a year ago, July 31st, 2010. I now weigh 164. I went from a size 26 to a size 10. And I am 22 pounds away from normal, which, according to my calculations I will be there in exactly 11 weeks!

Because I am Mrs. 2.

I am thrilled to be going to Safford today (a six hour round-trip drive) to help one of my best friends sign up on to the program. I will tell her what is possible. And I will show her that 2 pounds/week, over 52 weeks, ain't anything to be afraid of! Yup, I'll take it!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

That's right. 22 more pounds until I reach the promised land of health, the "normal BMI". I have 47 lbs to lose to get to the goal I have set for myself, which is mid-range of a normal BMI, but I WILL BE A HEALTHY WEIGHT IN 22 MORE POUNDS.

For someone who started with a BMI of 47, reaching 24.9 will be a milestone to say the least.

It only seems like yesterday that I was looking at my ticker and the current weight was right at the starting weight. It only seems like yesterday. Then the ticker moved down to 1/4 of the way to goal, and I remember thinking how thrilled I would be when it was half-way. Then it was half-way and I remember thinking how exciting it would be to have lost 100 lbs. Then I lost 100 lbs and now I'm thinking how exciting it will be to get to a healthy BMI. And my ticker just keeps going and going.

Tomorrow I am getting an hour long massage and an hour long pedicure to celebrate. What am I celebrating? Why, the fact that I only have 22 more pounds until I reach a healthy weight of course! =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
I plan on making this next 50 pounds as breathtakingly transformational as the last 100 were. I just saw pictures of me from the convention, and although I am pleased as punch being down over 100 lbs now, I realize once again that I am not where I want to be.

A lady who spoke there said she had lost 30 lbs in 3 months and gone from a size 12 to a size zero. Although I am NOT hung up on a number, I, too, am a petite lady and would NOT be surprised to be a size zero when I hit my goal, which is 118. I was in a size 2 at 128 last time around, so I do think that will be where I land.

I am currently in a tight 10, and a loose 12 jean size.

I will accomplish this transformation from 167 to 118 in 5-6 months. Ready, set, GO!!!

Are we so frazzled by the end of the day because we have spent all day seeing temptations and mustering up every ounce of willpower we have to get through them unscathed? Are we exhausting ourselves with feelings of deprivation?

If so, I challenge all of us to change our focus.

I don't even see "temptations" as temptations anymore. I ignore them. They aren't even on my radar, so I don't feel exhausted saying no to them all day.

How do I do this?

In the morning I make a choice. One choice. That choice is simple, but it isn't easy. The choice?

I will stay on plan today.

That makes ONE choice instead of umpteen billion choices.

One time per day to decide "no" to off plan foods instead of umpteen billion times using my mental energy to hash over in my mind whether or not I will succumb "just this once".

One time per day to realize yes, I may in fact need to deprive myself of things that I used to adore, the things that made me Class III Morbidly Obese (and killing myself with a fork and spoon!), instead of umpteen billion times I could feel deprived per day.

No, I'll take that one choice, made first thing in the morning, to be intentional about my day. To be deliberate about what I am putting in my mouth, making sure it matches up with the long-term goals and dreams I have for myself. Because they are many. And time is short. Too short to be banging my head against the wall over a donut, umpteen billion times per day. Ouch. That would hurt.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
I am so inspired today! So many successes that I am reading about from the Blogs, and hearing about from my friends, I am elated and excited and, well ok, I am manic.

I am harnessing that energy and cleaning out my closet. AGAIN. It seems like I JUST did this a few months ago, when in actuality it was February. I had gotten rid of every article of clothing that said 16 or higher, or was 1X or above.

Now I'm back in, getting rid of every article of clothing that says 12 or higher, or L and above.

You see, I am in a size 10. Not only am I in a size 10, but I am beginning to notice that my "L" tops are beginning to swim on me.

It happens so gradually, just a little bit each day, so much so that I don't notice things are beginning to "tent" on me.

And let's face it, big clothes on a medium person still make that medium person look...big. And frumpy. And I have changed SO much about me this year, the last thing I want to be is to look big or frumpy!

So no more big or frumpy. The new me is emerging. =)
Every once in awhile I dig out my Quick Start Guide, dust it off, and read it.

It helps bring me back to the basics of "What is the Medifast Plan?"

It is amazing how far we can allow ourselves to drift when the routine becomes seemingly "old hat". Condiments? Weigh and measure? Yes and yes.

And to be reminded what a healthy fat actually IS is a good idea every once in awhile. BTW I'm pretty sure it isn't the fried breading on that zucchini LOL.

Isn't it funny how sometimes it is our default to drift over the particulars and "generally" do Medifast? But is that really serving our purpose? Aren't we really short changing ourselves and our plan, AND our success?

I think so.

So here I am, reading the Quick Start Guide once again. Here I am, being DELIBERATE and INTENTIONAL about what I put in my mouth today. Here I am, LOGGING my intake. Here I am, WEIGHING AND MEASURING my L&G, and choosing protein and vegetables based on the APPROVED LIST.

Here I am. Sitting in my size 10 jeans I just bought from Costco today, thinking I may want to pick up a pair of 8's for September. Far cry from size 26 Womens Stretch last July. Yeah. That sounds good.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
What exactly are we waiting for to decide that THIS is what we want?

So many times I have to remind myself WHY I chose this. If I don't, I forget, and it gets too easy to not stay on plan.

I had a great NSV (non-scale-victory) tonight at Costco, while looking at DKNY cardigan wraps. The sign said there were two sizes: S/M and L/XL.

I already knew the L/XL was too big, so I was searching for a S/M and then it hit me right between the eyes....I was searching for a Small/Medium top. I smiled and moved on, not finding what I was looking for but finding something nonetheless. Then I picked up a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt size 10 jeans, came home, and put them on easy peasy lemon squeezy. Man I love this program.

Why are YOU doing this?
'Nuff said.
Being with energetic and like-minded people this weekend was a wonderful experience. The vision is to get America Healthy one person at a time. An epidemic of health. Doesn't that sound great? One of the things I am reminded of on my journey is that GOOD HABITS are just as hard to break as BAD HABITS.

This last weekend I was traveling, I was running on pure adrenaline, up until all hours of the night, every night, after arriving in Florida Friday morning after a night-flight from the West Coast.

And I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. The difference is that I have made Medifast a habit. So "whatever I wanted whenever I wanted" ended up being every 2-3 hours, and consisted of Bars, Puffs, Ready-To-Drink Shakes, and the samples of the new Medifast foods which are the Cheeze Pizza Bites and BBQ Bites (available now) and the Spiced Pancakes with SF Syrup (available August 1). We ate with our team the first night at a great Mediterranean Restaurant, and the second night was a Banquet. Great L&G options both nights.

The point is that because I have made eating every 2-3 hours, eating 5 Medifast meals and 1 L&G a habit, it seemed I was doing it on autopilot.

And I dig that.

So let's keep making Medifast our normal. Let's continue working the routine. Because routine leads to habit, and habits, when they are GOOD habits, help us and don't hurt us. And eventually they are our default behaviors which, to me, is just AWESOME!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
No one is going to take this journey for me. Not anymore.

For many years I let other people write my story. Now I am in charge of it's ending. And my story has a happy ending. Because we can't go back and change chapters that have already been written. But we CAN show up in our own story, we CAN show up in our own lives, and we CAN determine the chapters that WILL be written.

I love the song by Natasha Bedingfield "Unwritten".

Here are the lyrics:

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibition

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

I am indeed becoming that person, a little more each day.

The person I 'might have' been. I am living up to my full God-given potential here and NOW. And my body is reflecting that a little more each day.

Did I let the fact that I lost and gained back 140 lbs a few years ago determine my future? Did I sit and wallow in self-pity? Well, yes, of course I did, for awhile. Then I decided that the only person who was going to change me guessed it, ME. I wove my experience in to my story, that rich tapestry of my life that is ultimately a picture of courage, resilience, flexibility, and hope. At least that is how I look at it.

So with that spark of hope, and the ounce of courage that I had hiding in the recesses of my heart, I took the plunge again. Now, almost 1 year later and 100 lbs down, I am succeeding. I am thriving. I am healthy. I am becoming that person, the person I 'might have' been.

Are you?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
Our vacay will involve a beach house in Carlsbad, and I'm pretty sure there is no wireless there.

So I'll be MIA for a week!

I've got my 3 boxes of brownies, 1 box of Nacho Chili Puffs, and 2 boxes of pretzels.

And I've got my $220 (retail) worth of clothing I picked up at Banana Republic (a Large dress, a Med top, a Small cardigan) for $1.88 packed in my little bag!

I love sales! This happened to be a "40% off the already reduced price then take an additional 25% off and then apply a $50 cash rewards card from BR Visa and your grand total for 3 items that were originally $220 + tax will be $1.88!" kind of sale.

I love visa cash rewards.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

August 2nd-22nd, 2011

And it is called obesity. My body is set up to store every extra calorie I give it as fat. And it will always be so. But there is HOPE!!!

I have found hope in Medifast, and in staying compliant to the program as written in the Quick Start Guide I see *R*E*S*U*L*T*S* which is what I'm after.

Even when I am at goal and maintaining at a size 2 petite, I will still consider myself as having this medical condition. But I will consider myself in a lifetime treatment program, and that lifetime treatment program, therapy if you will, is Medifast.

I am going to be one of the ones who use 3 Medifast Meal Replacements every day along with phase 4 of transition. So my maintenance plan will look like this:

3 Medifast Meals
11-13 oz protein
2.5 cups vegetables
2 medium sized pieces of fruit (or 1 cup cubed or berries)
1 dairy
1 whole grain

I will use the transition plan as written, and will maintain my weight because I will always be in THERAPY but never CURED.

I have this hope. And I am the one who can implement it. Only me. No one else is responsible for my health EXCEPT myself. And I am in a place where I take that responsibility gladly.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."

Most people just want to know that they matter. That you see them. That you regard them as unique and special. Much of the time this can be accomplished with enthusiasm and a smile! It's a little harder in the virtual world, but I find it is still similar.

Take this forum for example. When I see a blog with "0" comments on it, I feel a little dejected even if it isn't my blog! I know, crazy! But it is true! So I read the blog and comment on it because I want the writer to know that they matter! And that they are unique and special! Because we all are.

Let's make sure no blog goes un-commented on! =)

So today is a crazy day, my schedule is a bit off and I'm way behind on my water. But I'm catching up. And my headache is subsiding.

I saw some dear friends today who are missionaries in Slovenia. They came over and we had egg-free waffles. Well, they did. I was happy serving and chatting!

I gave my dear friend a beautiful Lomonosov Cobalt tea pot and a Lomonosov tea cup (I have a matching tea cup) so that we can pray for each other every time we use it!

This was a random blog but I just wanted to say hello!

Happy Saturday everyone! And keep on Medifasting!

Sorry I've been MIA on the blogs. Little man had Strep and 104.5 fever. Feeling much better now, and running around the house again. So here I am!

Just wanted to give a quick update. Will blog more tomorrow!
I did. Looking back, I have to say that I did not eat anything I did not want to eat. And I enjoyed everything I ate on my way back to 268. And I didn't feel guilty. I was in the trance of denial.

And I gained back 140 pounds.

And you see, that was actually the problem. Day after day mindless eating, lined up in a neat little row, will do that over time. The danger is not in the eating off plan for a meal, or even a day, or two or three days. It is not getting back to Medifast after those two or three days are over.

And once the carbs gain control, they are a powerful force to be reckoned with. They make us forget all our goals and dreams we have for ourselves. They tell us "you can start tomorrow" and tomorrow never comes.

So if you are reading this blog and have been off plan for even the last week or two, wondering if you actually have the courage to begin again, START TODAY. Make you NEXT meal a Medifast one. Don't wait until tomorrow. Walk over to your cupboard and choose a Medifast meal. (I know you still have a few in there!) As you prepare it, commit yourself again to the process. Because it is never too late to become the person we 'might have' been.

But we have to set our foot on the path. Then place your order.
Contentment in the process. That is what I preach. I know that the antibiotics I was on this week and the TOM that came a week early as a result have logistically resulted in this tick up on the scale. So, I will ignore the number and move on. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
Not many other cultures in this world have a population of people who, for the most part, get what they want. Have we been spoiled to grow up in America, a land of opportunity and a land of plenty? Well that is the topic of another blog but today I was thinking about the fact that we, as individuals, usually get exactly what we want.

Our problem, however, and one of the reasons we became obese in the first place, was that we were wanting the "wrong" things.

I'm all for getting what I want. I really have NO problem with that. But I am learning to line up my WANTS with my primary goal of Optimal Health. Because I really REALLY want Optimal Health.

Do you want junk food? Then eventually you will get junk food. Like you have gotten it so many times before. So many times that you found yourself ordering Medifast out of desperation because somewhere deep down you also want to be a normal weight.

An essential key to coaxing out the long-term success potential of this tool of Medifast we've chosen to use is to actively, and I do mean ACTIVELY establish exactly WHAT IT IS THAT WE WANT MORE Because we WILL get it. Then we need to ACTIVELY minimize those wants that are in danger of keeping us from what we want MORE.

Are you obsessing over the food that you are missing? Well if you are, you are technically "wanting" it (or are in want of it) and you will get it. Maybe tonight in a binge after everyone else has gone to bed. Maybe next weekend at your cousin's second wedding.
In fact, you are already thinking of your next encounter with the yummy food/intoxicating alcohol that you want. You may have even posted about how much of a "challenge" it will be to stay "on plan" and you're not sure you can really do it, you know, "realistically" because we all have to, you know, "live life" and everything should be, you know, in "moderation".

So, the scenario is ripe for you to, in fact, slow your losses, stall your losses, gain, give up. Because you wanted the yummy food/alcohol more.

Or, are you waking up each day and thinking to yourself that you cannot WAIT to get into "just overweight" on the BMI chart, or to move from "overweight" to "normal weight"? Do you have that next size down dress/jeans in the closet in a prominent place in your closet so that you are reminded every day that you are actually shrinking? Are you carefully preparing your Lean and Green and measuring your healthy fats so as to stay compliant to the plan?

Are you orienting your day towards wanting health or are you orienting your day towards wanting yummy food? Because therein lies the direction you will ultimately head.

Because we do, in fact, usually get what we want.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

When I wake up in the morning I have one perfect cup of coffee. It has 2 TBSP half and half and 1 packet splenda in it, and is a bit of heaven on earth.

And as much as I'd love a second cup, and as much as every morning my brain tells me to go ahead and have a second cup, I ALWAYS have my second cup black.

Why? I'm sure I could do the numbers so that I COULD have a second cup of coffee with 2 TBSP half and half and 1 packet splenda in it, just count both servings as my 2 healthy fats and the 2 packets of splenda as condiments.

But I don't.

You see, my inner brat is the one asking for that second cup, and it is coming out of a place of indulgence. (If one is good, two is better type thing).

I consciously make the DECISION first thing in the morning to say NO to indulgence for indulgence-sake, and have my second cup black.

This sets the tone for the rest of the day. Because shortly thereafter, that inner brat will say "naw, you don't have to start drinking your water don't feel like it..."

And if I indulge that inner-brat with the coffee, I'll also listen to her with the water, and before you know it, it is noon and I am woefully behind on my water and have used up all my healthy fats.

So I choose. It's a simple choice, and I make it around 7:34 every morning. After a few sips of the "black" coffee I usually abandon the cup and get some water........


Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
That's right. I don't care what anyone says to try to talk me out of it. I am going to have a free-for-all this weekend, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Every minute of chocolate-filled bliss and I don't care who knows it.

You got it, I'm having a "5-brownie day"!

Five Medifast Brownies, that is! Oh and a weighed and measured lean and green + appropriate healthy fats, too!

I really cut loose on the weekends. =)
I went to see Cowboys and Aliens last night, MAN what a good movie. Entertaining, enjoyable, witty, and two of my favorite leading men Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig.

I went by myself, because going to movies solo is actually one of the ways I relax and my hubby doesn't mind. Next to me was a couple who looked to be in their early 60's, and were both shall we say "extremely ample".

The man returned from the snack bar with a large soda (could have been diet) and an XL movie theatre popcorn. I didn't think much of it, because many people get XL movie theatre popcorns and share it with their party.

Here's the thing. The man ate it himself. No sharing with the wife. Here's the other thing. Halfway through the movie he went and got the "free" refill and another soda, and he proceeded to eat the entire refill also.

I heard a steady "munch munch munch" in my left ear throughout the entire movie, and I reflected how that man is killing himself one XL popcorn at a time.

Then I wondered at this culture of ours which says that is normal, and even desired (I mean who can go see a movie without soda and popcorn?!?!).

I didn't feel disgusted, I felt sad. And thankful, so very thankful, that I found Medifast and that more importantly, I made the decision to be counter-culture with my health.

PS I just looked up the calories he consumed JUST on the popcorn, and a Large with 3 squirts of butter flavor would have been 1500 calories. So an XL was probably closer to 2000 calories PER BAG. Add in the soda (528 per 48 oz serving) and that would total more than 5000 calories consumed of pure garbage.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
"If all of your thinking in your life has brought you to a place you don't like, think again. Have another thought. Think BRILLIANTLY." - Graham Cooke
Some of us are over-thinkers. We take a simple process and we "think it all up!" until it is no longer simple, until it is so STINKING complex that even WE lose track of it and eventually abandon the effort.

And we just think we are experts. I know I do. =) HA!

Then something happens to bring us back to simplicity. For me, I think I've been moving towards simplicity for a year now, as I have done Medifast. I am no longer the angry, bitter, dour fat woman of days-gone-by.

I am changing at my core. I have identified the person I want to become and am moving toward that goal.

Do YOU have a picture in your mind of the person you want to become? Or is your goal just "to lose weight"?

I challenge anyone who is reading my blog today to take some time over the next few days and REALLY think SIMPLY about who you want to become. If you were a reflection of your AUTHENTIC self, what kind of person would you be? How would your authentic self look? What would your authentic self do? How would your authentic self treat others? Treat yourself?

If you don't have a goal, you'll never reach it. That is what I have discovered in my own life. So define your goals, and in so doing, you may actually be defining yourself and your potential.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Attachment: Celebrity2011.jpg
My son started back to Kindergarten this week, and I am proud (in a bit of a wicked way I suppose!) to report that I am, in fact, NOT the biggest mom after all!

That was my NSV for this week!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Today I woke up and didn't feel like it. Waking up, that is.

Then I put on my running shoes although I didn't feel like it. Running that is.

Now I'm drinking my water, and to tell you the truth, drinking so much so early makes me kinda nauseous. I sure don't feel like it.

In a few minutes I'm getting my chocolate shake ready for breakfast. Not so enthused this morning. But I'll do it.

Ever have those days when the things that we do just feel like obligations and when we forget that WE chose this and not the other way around?

Yeah. That is me, today. But you know what? I'm doing it anyway. Why? Because my fat doesn't care how I feel, it will respond to what I put into my body and how much I move. So today, although my heart isn't in it, I'm doing it.

Don't look now, but I think I may be acquiring a bit of SELF DISCIPLINE into my life. Please don't tell my perpetual teenager side of me, aka my inner brat. I've had her on board for this journey and I don't want her to jump ship LOL. She can be a menacing and cunning foe. =)

Doing what we don't feel like or want to do daily in order to obtain a future goal is what Dr. A would call secondary goals to obtain a primary goal. The primary goal is what we are after, and the things we do every day, the little disciplines we incorporate throughout our routine, are called secondary goals.

Often, if not always, the secondary goals are not fun. There are no accolades, no immediate rewards, and it is usually hard. We sacrifice parts of our day to do tasks that sometimes are unpleasant in order to move us toward that primary goal.

Dr. A uses the analogy of a concert pianist. Being a concert pianist is the primary goal, but practicing every day in order to become that concert pianist is the secondary goal. I am sure that concert pianist when he was growing up would have rather been playing with his friends outside, or surfing facebook, or hanging out at the mall. But he diligently and faithfully set the framework to make himself into a concert pianist by practicing for hours every day. Feeling like it or not didn't even enter in to the equation. He just did it.

That's where I am in my Medifast journey. I love where I'm headed, and I know I'll get there. I have faith in the process. But it's not all pony-rides in May sunshine in the process of becoming that which I have decided to become.

So I get down to the choice of setting my secondary goals, and using the tools I have at my disposal. Namely, Medifast meals and running shoes.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

PS I'm going to keep attaching my "celebrity look alike" collage to every blog from now on because I like it! C'mon, Jessica Biel? Kate Winslet? Annette Benning? Scarlett Johanssen? =)
Attachment: Celebrity2011.jpg
I still remember one of the first Celebrity Look-Alikes I did, on, before I had lost over 100 lbs. It wasn't pretty. There were lots of men in the collage. Older men. Wasn't thrilled. In fact, my highest %% match was William Shatner at the time. If you browse my photos on MyPage and look at the one of me in the pink sleeveless shirt, you will see why. It was ALMOST the saddest day of my life LOL.

But I just did a NEW celebrity look alike collage, (picture attached) and I think I'll TAKE THESE RESULTS!!!

Scarlett Johanssen, Kate Winslet, Jessica Biel, Annette Benning are among the highest matches.

Yeehaw!!!! I no longer look like William Shatner or Stacy Keech!
Attachment: Celebrity2011.jpg
Simplicity = the 5&1 plan.

I am also trying to simplify other areas in my life. To take an exerpt from Janet Luhrs The Simple Living Guide,

"Simple living is about living deliberately. That's all. You CHOOSE your existence rather than sailing through life on automatic pilot. Living deeply means living consciously...being fully present, fully aware. Living deeply means living intimately...closely tied to the people, places and things in your life. When you simplify, you'll have space and time to know and love people in a deeper way. You'll present your authentic self to the world and will create a life that is authentic for you. You'll surround yourself with people who like and love you for who you are deep inside, rather than the professional or other kind of persona you project to the world. Simplicity and living deeply means shedding all of those outward layers of image and busyness that keep us from being close to ourselves and other people. It is a more authentic life. Simplicity is living from your essence...your core. You can discover this essence only when you slow down and begin to live deliberately, consciously."

I am excited to read the rest of this book. I see big changes on the
horizon in every area of my life. And I am excited as all get-out!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

The plan, the plan, nothing but the plan.

I've thrown away my condiment list. I am paring down my choices this week to what it contained in the basic plan, as outlined by the Quick Start Guide. No more, no less. Sure I CAN have a snack and condiments....but I've grown too dependent on them. I want simplicity and results.

If it ain't in the QSG I ain't doin' it. Period.

Extreme? No, proven.

I've got 45 more pounds to lose and I want to lose them by New Year's Eve.

Have a great Medifasting week! Rinse and Repeat!

The big girl, that is what I was known as in elementary school. Shocker of all shockers when the day came that I realized I actually had a SMALL frame.

I am petite. My bones are petite, my stature is petite, I am petite. I can't wait for the world to be able to see that about me again someday soon.

Starting out at a size 26 jeans no one would have guessed that about me. Now that I am a size 10 people are beginning to suspect.... =)

I have also randomly learned that I REALLY like platform shoes and 5-inch heels. So does my 6 foot 2 hubby (not for him, for me!).

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
So many of us are emotion-driven, myself included. We need to be gung-ho about something in order to dive fully into it heart and soul.

So what happens when that emotional pull we felt doing Medifast at the beginning wanes?

Do you ever wake up some mornings not "feeling" necessarily in love with your significant other? Do you let that affect what you do that day? "Sorry honey, I'm just not feeling it this morning. I'm packing my bags." Or how about this one "Sorry honey, I'm just not feeling it this morning. Maybe when the plumber gets here he'll look better to me than you do right now and...."

You get the picture.

No, most of us do not conduct our relationship in this way. Well, Medifast is a commitment also. And once we get in to the routine and the initial large losses happen, sometimes that "feeling" wanes, and the Medihoneymoon is over.

What do we do?

Some folks will decide that because they aren't infatuated with Medifast anymore it is time to find their excitement in other things and other foods because they are bored with Medifast.

Some folks, though, will decide that since they made a commitment to themselves and others that they would see this through, they DO Medifast anyway, regardless of how they feel.

And a funny thing happens. Eventually these people experience a new emotion, which is the peace and satisfaction that comes from consistently doing a good job and sticking to their commitment.

Emotion follows motion.

So I say do the program regardless of how you feel, INCLUDING on the weekends. Your fat doesn't care how you feel. Your fat will respond to what you put into your body and how much you move. Period. Even if you are controlling your intake while kicking and screaming, and having a back-and-forth internal dialog with yourself about how FREAKING hard this process can be, that is fine. Leave it at your lips.

Nothing passes your lips that isn't on plan. And you WILL be successful.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

"Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire." - Epictetus

This is really what this program is about, right? Controlling our desire?

Let me say this again...CONTROLLING OUR DESIRE. At first glance, many may think this means fighting tooth and nail to NOT succumb to our desire. Right?

No. I believe Epictetus was saying that freedom only comes when we CONTROL the actual PROCESS of desiring.

What are we focused on? Because if we are allowing thoughts and fantasies of "eating what we want" to run rampant in our heads, we truly then are still in bondage.

But what, then, is freedom?

For me, freedom is the ability to control the OBJECT or the FOCUS of my desire.

I desire good health. I am free to pursue that good, or optimal, health, and obtain that desire.

What if I desire junk food? Well, the constraints of the plan become something I resent. That resentment passes in to every area of my life and make me just a bitter person because my desire must go unfilled if I am to stay "On Plan". Or, I fulfill my desire and stay fat.

Either way I have become a slave to that uncontrolled desire.

But if I control that desire and focus it on something noble worthy and good, then the filling of that desire is a pleasure. AND I get what I want! No feelings of deprivation because, you see, I am getting exactly what I desire and am free to do that without guilt.

So let's be careful in fantasizing about "all that yummy food", lest we enslave ourselves in the process.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
I've seen many posts lately about cravings, and it really hit me this weekend that my actual cravings have changed.

In the past, and on previous programs, I would crave things that were blatantly fat-producing things, like ice cream, cupcakes, brownies, and the like.

This weekend I dealt with cravings, but I dealt with them in the proper way which is, for me, NOT to succumb.

But WHAT I was craving really made an impression on me. I was craving baba ganouj. I was craving hummous. I was craving shrimp and vegetable spring rolls wrapped in rice paper. Good things, healthy things, and things I still needed to say "no" to for NOW. But not NO when I'm in maintenance!

Just some thoughts.
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand

I don't need anyone's permission to change my life. I only need to decide to do it, and then step into that decision with the conviction of my dreams.

"I pity the fool" who tries to stop me. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!