Monday, September 19, 2011

July 16th - August 7th, 2011

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand

I don't need anyone's permission to change my life. I only need to decide to do it, and then step into that decision with the conviction of my dreams.

"I pity the fool" who tries to stop me. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
Today I was sharing with a friend of mine what happened to me yesterday as I was walking out of our local mall's Barnes and Noble toward my car.

Something felt, well, just not quite normal.

After a few more strides I targeted the anomaly. My arms were swinging freely by my sides when I walked...but NOT brushing any other part of my body as they swung.

WHAT?!?!?!

If you look at my before picture on MyPage with the pink shirt you will see why it is such an unusual scenario to say my arms don't touch my body anymore when I walk.

I'm on cloud 9.

And one other thing, I received my "goal jeans" in the mail this week. I held them up and almost cried, because I KNOW I will be in them some time around Christmas/New Year. And they are hawt. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and repeat!
Sometimes that's the attitude we slip into, isn't it? I mean, we purchased the plan, it's sitting in our pantry, we start out the day having our first Medifast meal, and then sometime mid-morning, or mid-afternoon, all our good intentions fall apart.

Somehow we think that since we have those boxes, since we've invested the $$, that somehow those little boxes should do the work FOR us. After all, we paid good money for them. And why aren't they working?

Well, there is no magic in the little boxes. The little boxes are only a tool. Having them peek out at us every time we go to the pantry does not impart any fairy dust into our bodies which somehow melts the fat.

No. We must do the program. And by "The. Program." I do mean Medifast, as described in the Quick Start Guide, and as contained in the list of healthy fats/condiments that are allowed. Period.

Anything else is not the program.

Do we slip? Sometimes. But we get right back on.

And to be honest, it is those little teeny tiny almost meaningless (NOT!!!) slips day in and day out that are hurting our progress and hurting us by trampling our morale underfoot. Sooner or later we are setting ourselves up to just give up.

So what to do? Commit yourself THIS day that you will stay on plan. Then stay on plan. Rinse and Repeat.
I have taken steps throughout this weightloss journey to build around myself an environment of health. That was not the case the "first time" around.

I am truly internalizing that I AM a fit and healthy person, and that my outsides are slowly catching up with my insides. One pound at a time, one week at a time.

It is a direction I am headed, not a number on a scale.

Yesterday I decided that there was nothing more that I wanted for my Birthday in October than to attend a Health Expo in Woodland Hills, CA. My father gives me a little "Fun $$" every year for my birthday, and after figuring the Expo Pass Fee (front row seating!!!), and the flight, it came out to be almost exactly what my "Fun $$" would be.

So I talked to my husband and I reserved my seat.

I plan on moving our whole family to a more plant-based, whole-foods approach to eating once I am fully transitioned from Medifast. And I plan on beginning "Transition" on January 1st, 2012.

Also, with my current "occupation" I am finally doing what I feel IS my life's purpose. And the sense of peace and accomplishment that is flowing from the choice to walk down the path I am on is almost overwhelming.

I am joyful. I am at peace. I am working toward health and wholeness for our entire family. And I still have 45 pounds to go! Who says you have to get to "goal" to be happy?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
One of my dreams in finally getting the weight off was that I wouldn't be the largest mom in my son's kindergarten class. Vain, I know.

My son started kindergarten last year, a month after I had begun the program. Of course it was not the case that I wasn't the largest mom. I was.

But guess what? We held him back. Tee hee. Now I can say I'm not going to be the largest mom in his class.

Looking at the bright side here.... =)
Today.

Today is the only day I need to worry about. The only thought of tomorrow I even need to consider is whether I have enough Medifast meals for tomorrow LOL.

Besides that, today is all I am concerning myself with.

And today, I am doing several things:

Cleaning and organizing the kitchen and pantry
Cleaning and organizing my bedroom and closet
Taking care of myself and my son, and my husband.

And loving the process. Loving the way I can feel my hip bones beginning to emerge. Loving the way my collar bones say "hello" above the neck-line of my American Eagle T-shirt. Loving the fact that my size 28 (inches, not clothing size!) True Religion Chunky-Stitch embroidered jeans have a tracking number so that in a few days I can hang them on my closet door as my ultimate "goal jeans".

Yeah, life is good.
There was devastating 100-year flood. A man, woman and dog found themselves on the roof of their house, with the torrential waters rising fast. The man prayed to the Good Lord to save him and his family.

A few hours later, an army transport drove by, the water reaching almost all the way up it's wheels. "Sir" the soldier yelled, "would you like a ride? The waters are still rising..."

"No thank you," said the man on the roof, "The Lord will save me!"

A few hours later, as the waters rose to the top of the first floor, a boat floated by, and the boatman asked "Sir, would you like to get into the boat?"

The man replied yet again "No thank you, the Lord will save me!"

Finally, as the sun was going down and the water was up to the second story window, a helicopter flew by. Seeing the family on the roof they hovered overhead and yelled through a bullhorn "Sir! You will drown! We need to rescue you now!"

"I'll be fine" the man said, "I've got time, and besides, I've asked the Lord to save me! I have faith that He will!"

When it was pitch black, and the water was continuing to rise, the man inquired of the Lord "Lord, I've prayed these three times for you to save me! Why haven't you done it?"

The Lord replied "I sent a truck, then a boat, then a helicopter. You didn't get in any of them."

This is how I feel about Medifast. This was my truck, my boat, and my helicopter. And it is for many people, but many people also don't understand that they need to utilize the tools that are being given to them. There IS an "our part" in our healing and in our moving toward health, and if we don't DO that work, then we will continue being what we have always been. Fat and sad. =(

So let's do our part today. Let's get on that Medifast wagon. It is going in the direction we want to go.
So many things have changed in the last year I can't even begin to count them all. But here are a few that come to mind after having lost 100+ pounds.

1) I can run 30 minutes instead of not even 30 seconds
2) My PAD early symptoms have disappeared
3) I carry myself with confidence and good posture
4) I smile at everyone unintentionally instead of glaring at them unintentionally
5) I can wear size 10 jeans instead of size 26 (or, truth be told, I should have been wearing 28's if I were honest back then)
6) I weigh less than my drivers license says I do (who was I kidding, anyway?)
7) I run a successful small business whereas I would not have had the vision to do that last year
8) I live each day deliberately and on purpose, instead of on autopilot and by accident

I am thankful to my God, who has given me His strength to back up MY good decisions. He won't do it for me, but once I have made the choice to stay on the path, He will keep my foot from faltering.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
I may not be able to lose 104 pounds, but I CAN lose 2 lbs 52 times!

A shout out to Sidanne, who posted this comment on my blog yesterday! It really struck me as a PERFECT way to phrase my success!

I have taken this journey one day at a time. I didn't look at the enormity of the task before me, I looked at just the next 24 hours, MAX. Sometimes, I just looked at getting to the next MEAL. And I've lost 2.01 lbs/week, 52 times.

Have I been perfect? No, but I have been consistent in moving toward my goal. And my goal isn't a number. My goal is a life I am creating for myself, one that includes optimal health. I want it all. I want the health, I want the energy, I want the hope for the future. And I am experiencing the benefits of those things NOW, even though I'm not at my (number on the scale) goal!

So happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
As I was reading Bresbres's blog just now I realized that tomorrow is my one-year Medi-versary. Yay me!

I also stepped on the scale this morning to reveal another pound gone from yesterday, meaning I have hit 104 lbs lost. In 52 weeks.

Meet "Mrs. 2". I must have been THE person Medifast was talking about when they said you can expect to lose 2-5 lbs per week. I AM MRS. 2 pounds per week.

SO be encouraged. Look at my before pictures on MyPage, specifically the one in the pink shirt. That was me at 268 a year ago, July 31st, 2010. I now weigh 164. I went from a size 26 to a size 10. And I am 22 pounds away from normal, which, according to my calculations I will be there in exactly 11 weeks!

Because I am Mrs. 2.

I am thrilled to be going to Safford today (a six hour round-trip drive) to help one of my best friends sign up on to the program. I will tell her what is possible. And I will show her that 2 pounds/week, over 52 weeks, ain't anything to be afraid of! Yup, I'll take it!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
That's right. 22 more pounds until I reach the promised land of health, the "normal BMI". I have 47 lbs to lose to get to the goal I have set for myself, which is mid-range of a normal BMI, but I WILL BE A HEALTHY WEIGHT IN 22 MORE POUNDS.

For someone who started with a BMI of 47, reaching 24.9 will be a milestone to say the least.

It only seems like yesterday that I was looking at my ticker and the current weight was right at the starting weight. It only seems like yesterday. Then the ticker moved down to 1/4 of the way to goal, and I remember thinking how thrilled I would be when it was half-way. Then it was half-way and I remember thinking how exciting it would be to have lost 100 lbs. Then I lost 100 lbs and now I'm thinking how exciting it will be to get to a healthy BMI. And my ticker just keeps going and going.

Tomorrow I am getting an hour long massage and an hour long pedicure to celebrate. What am I celebrating? Why, the fact that I only have 22 more pounds until I reach a healthy weight of course! =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
I plan on making this next 50 pounds as breathtakingly transformational as the last 100 were. I just saw pictures of me from the convention, and although I am pleased as punch being down over 100 lbs now, I realize once again that I am not where I want to be.

A lady who spoke there said she had lost 30 lbs in 3 months and gone from a size 12 to a size zero. Although I am NOT hung up on a number, I, too, am a petite lady and would NOT be surprised to be a size zero when I hit my goal, which is 118. I was in a size 2 at 128 last time around, so I do think that will be where I land.

I am currently in a tight 10, and a loose 12 jean size.

I will accomplish this transformation from 167 to 118 in 5-6 months. Ready, set, GO!!!
Are we so frazzled by the end of the day because we have spent all day seeing temptations and mustering up every ounce of willpower we have to get through them unscathed? Are we exhausting ourselves with feelings of deprivation?

If so, I challenge all of us to change our focus.

I don't even see "temptations" as temptations anymore. I ignore them. They aren't even on my radar, so I don't feel exhausted saying no to them all day.

How do I do this?

In the morning I make a choice. One choice. That choice is simple, but it isn't easy. The choice?

I will stay on plan today.

That makes ONE choice instead of umpteen billion choices.

One time per day to decide "no" to off plan foods instead of umpteen billion times using my mental energy to hash over in my mind whether or not I will succumb "just this once".

One time per day to realize yes, I may in fact need to deprive myself of things that I used to adore, the things that made me Class III Morbidly Obese (and killing myself with a fork and spoon!), instead of umpteen billion times I could feel deprived per day.

No, I'll take that one choice, made first thing in the morning, to be intentional about my day. To be deliberate about what I am putting in my mouth, making sure it matches up with the long-term goals and dreams I have for myself. Because they are many. And time is short. Too short to be banging my head against the wall over a donut, umpteen billion times per day. Ouch. That would hurt.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
I am so inspired today! So many successes that I am reading about from the Blogs, and hearing about from my friends, I am elated and excited and, well ok, I am manic.

I am harnessing that energy and cleaning out my closet. AGAIN. It seems like I JUST did this a few months ago, when in actuality it was February. I had gotten rid of every article of clothing that said 16 or higher, or was 1X or above.

Now I'm back in, getting rid of every article of clothing that says 12 or higher, or L and above.

You see, I am in a size 10. Not only am I in a size 10, but I am beginning to notice that my "L" tops are beginning to swim on me.

It happens so gradually, just a little bit each day, so much so that I don't notice things are beginning to "tent" on me.

And let's face it, big clothes on a medium person still make that medium person look...big. And frumpy. And I have changed SO much about me this year, the last thing I want to be is to look big or frumpy!

So no more big or frumpy. The new me is emerging. =)
Every once in awhile I dig out my Quick Start Guide, dust it off, and read it.

It helps bring me back to the basics of "What is the Medifast Plan?"

It is amazing how far we can allow ourselves to drift when the routine becomes seemingly "old hat". Condiments? Weigh and measure? Yes and yes.

And to be reminded what a healthy fat actually IS is a good idea every once in awhile. BTW I'm pretty sure it isn't the fried breading on that zucchini LOL.

Isn't it funny how sometimes it is our default to drift over the particulars and "generally" do Medifast? But is that really serving our purpose? Aren't we really short changing ourselves and our plan, AND our success?

I think so.

So here I am, reading the Quick Start Guide once again. Here I am, being DELIBERATE and INTENTIONAL about what I put in my mouth today. Here I am, LOGGING my intake. Here I am, WEIGHING AND MEASURING my L&G, and choosing protein and vegetables based on the APPROVED LIST.

Here I am. Sitting in my size 10 jeans I just bought from Costco today, thinking I may want to pick up a pair of 8's for September. Far cry from size 26 Womens Stretch last July. Yeah. That sounds good.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
What exactly are we waiting for to decide that THIS is what we want?

So many times I have to remind myself WHY I chose this. If I don't, I forget, and it gets too easy to not stay on plan.

I had a great NSV (non-scale-victory) tonight at Costco, while looking at DKNY cardigan wraps. The sign said there were two sizes: S/M and L/XL.

I already knew the L/XL was too big, so I was searching for a S/M and then it hit me right between the eyes....I was searching for a Small/Medium top. I smiled and moved on, not finding what I was looking for but finding something nonetheless. Then I picked up a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt size 10 jeans, came home, and put them on easy peasy lemon squeezy. Man I love this program.

Why are YOU doing this?
'Nuff said.
Being with energetic and like-minded people this weekend was a wonderful experience. The vision is to get America Healthy one person at a time. An epidemic of health. Doesn't that sound great? One of the things I am reminded of on my journey is that GOOD HABITS are just as hard to break as BAD HABITS.

This last weekend I was traveling, I was running on pure adrenaline, up until all hours of the night, every night, after arriving in Florida Friday morning after a night-flight from the West Coast.

And I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. The difference is that I have made Medifast a habit. So "whatever I wanted whenever I wanted" ended up being every 2-3 hours, and consisted of Bars, Puffs, Ready-To-Drink Shakes, and the samples of the new Medifast foods which are the Cheeze Pizza Bites and BBQ Bites (available now) and the Spiced Pancakes with SF Syrup (available August 1). We ate with our team the first night at a great Mediterranean Restaurant, and the second night was a Banquet. Great L&G options both nights.

The point is that because I have made eating every 2-3 hours, eating 5 Medifast meals and 1 L&G a habit, it seemed I was doing it on autopilot.

And I dig that.

So let's keep making Medifast our normal. Let's continue working the routine. Because routine leads to habit, and habits, when they are GOOD habits, help us and don't hurt us. And eventually they are our default behaviors which, to me, is just AWESOME!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
No one is going to take this journey for me. Not anymore.

For many years I let other people write my story. Now I am in charge of it's ending. And my story has a happy ending. Because we can't go back and change chapters that have already been written. But we CAN show up in our own story, we CAN show up in our own lives, and we CAN determine the chapters that WILL be written.

I love the song by Natasha Bedingfield "Unwritten".

Here are the lyrics:

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibition

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

(Gospel)
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten
I am indeed becoming that person, a little more each day.

The person I 'might have' been. I am living up to my full God-given potential here and NOW. And my body is reflecting that a little more each day.

Did I let the fact that I lost and gained back 140 lbs a few years ago determine my future? Did I sit and wallow in self-pity? Well, yes, of course I did, for awhile. Then I decided that the only person who was going to change me was....you guessed it, ME. I wove my experience in to my story, that rich tapestry of my life that is ultimately a picture of courage, resilience, flexibility, and hope. At least that is how I look at it.

So with that spark of hope, and the ounce of courage that I had hiding in the recesses of my heart, I took the plunge again. Now, almost 1 year later and 100 lbs down, I am succeeding. I am thriving. I am healthy. I am becoming that person, the person I 'might have' been.

Are you?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
Our vacay will involve a beach house in Carlsbad, and I'm pretty sure there is no wireless there.

So I'll be MIA for a week!

I've got my 3 boxes of brownies, 1 box of Nacho Chili Puffs, and 2 boxes of pretzels.

And I've got my $220 (retail) worth of clothing I picked up at Banana Republic (a Large dress, a Med top, a Small cardigan) for $1.88 packed in my little bag!

I love sales! This happened to be a "40% off the already reduced price then take an additional 25% off and then apply a $50 cash rewards card from BR Visa and your grand total for 3 items that were originally $220 + tax will be $1.88!" kind of sale.

I love visa cash rewards.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!
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