So right about now I feel like an absolute failure. I have not been able to be one single day on program since Saturday! It always happens at night. Sunday and Tuesday it was red-wine related and that just threw me right off. I have to stay away from the wine.
Then last night I was done with everything for the day, sitting on the couch, and hubby goes to bed...I go to the kitchen. about 300 calories later, after consuming some bean salad, sun-butter, and my sons oatmeal-raisin cookies, I went to bed in disgust. Up 2 lbs this morning, 6 lbs up from my low.
I've got to get a handle on this. I'm thinking of doing the "Complete MF Program" for one month to get my mindset back. Having real food as an option right now just seems too overwheming. Of course I'll consult with my Dr. about it. But I really need some shock to my system and to my mind, some point of recommittment that I know will work and a month from now I won't have lost only 2 more lbs. Or worse, gained 10.
I've done so well. Lost over 100 lbs. I have about 45 more to go. Part of me has given up, and I need to give that part a swift boot to the head and get it back in the game, lest that attitude creep into my whole being.
I've been depressed this week, largely because I can't get it together to stay on even a day. If you think about it today, please say a quick prayer for me. I am determined, and my will MUST prevail here.
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