Thursday, May 31, 2007

Sheesh! I Feel Like A Prophet!

Boy oh boy, I'll tell you what. God keeps me humble, that is for sure. Sometimes I feel like when I blog about successes and staying on MF and having tons of motivation, I am the one who needs to hear it the most! Inevitably I will be faced with a challenge that I just offered advice on, and half the time I give in! Crazy.

I'm getting the SunButter out of our house. I think every Veteran on MF has had her/his ISSUES with Peanut Butter (or in my case Sunflower seed butter...my son is allergic to peanuts...)

There is something that happens in my brain when that first Tablespoon is dispersed to every nook and cranny of my mouth/senses. It's called "rationalization" and/or "temporary insanity".

It's absolutely nuts. No pun intended. (It would be "seeds" anyway, not "nuts!")

So last night I OD'd on the Sunbutter. I mean OD'd. I logged my calories, and they were still under 1200, but who cares at that point? The level of fat I interjected into my day was downright embarrasing. I did not weigh this morning. Now, my normal advice to myself would be to step on the scale anyway because it IS what it IS. Not knowing doesn't change the damage I did or didn't do. So I may as well know, and not carry the sense of failure through the weekend with me. Fresh start, New day, yada yada yada...right? Wrongo. I'm not goin' near that insidious instrument until Monday.

I did wake up, have my oatmeal, and go for my 2 mile run. So mentally and program/wise I'm back. But I'm noticing this trend of self-sabatoge, especially on the weekends, that I am recognizing from previous failed attempts at dieting. And it scares me.

Well, lets take it one day at a time, and one meal at a time, and one decision at a time. I can't be afraid, I must be confident. So here goes...

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