It's true. It's one thing I started noticing about 30 lbs ago on my weight loss journey. People don't smile at fat people. And I've been fat for most of my life. It's like they don't want to "catch" what I have or something, so they try to have as little contact with me as possible...from not helping me in the store, to looking past me as I'm paying for something to the next person in line (Starbucks, movie theatres, grocery stores, you name it).
And getting a smile out of someone I'm interacting with if I don't know them personally? Forget it!
That was then. Fast forward to now, at a BMI of 28 (still considered overweight, but just barely). People give me their full attention. They smile at me. They want MY attention. They interact with me. They aren't afraid to engage and have a conversation with me. Men open doors for me. They let me go ahead of them instead of pretending they don't even see me.
This new presence of mine is addictive. I like being smiled at. I like being noticed. I like striking up new conversations. I think we all do. We are social creatures. And the invisibility of being overweight is an oppressive, alienating, secluding state. It sucks the life from us. It screams at us "YOU DON'T MATTER!"
Part of me, a very small part, wants to stay fat to spite them. To be non-conformist. To show them they don't get to me. They can't get to me, inside. They can give me their looks of disgust. They can ignore me. They can ask if I want a "gift receipt" with that when I'm buying for my "goal closet". I won't be moved. I won't be hurt.
That's the fat talking. That's what we insulate ourselves from when we are overweight. The hurt. The stares. The people that move when we sit next to them in a movie theatre. That's what we THINK we are insulating ourselves from. But we aren't.
The more fat I have lost, the more LIFE has gotten IN to me. The more my EMOTIONS have gotten OUT of me, instead of being stuffed to the innermost of my being. The LIGHTER I have felt in mind, body and spirit. The more carefree. It's addictive, this feeling. I want it for all of you. I don't want any of you to stop until you are THERE. I want you to put all your fears of failure aside. All your past failures. All you trepidation of "will this work this time...."
YES YES and YES. It will work. I am living proof. From a size 26 (tight) to the current size 8 Misses Levi's I am sitting here blogging in. From the 2XL tops from Walmart to the slinky junior tight-fitting T's with the Mickey Mouse and the Rainbow and the "This is My Happy Shirt!" Logo (Walmart!). It can be done. To any of you who are just starting, or contemplating starting, the ONLY thing standing between where I am and where you are right now is TIME and PERSEVERANCE. You get a handle on those two elements, and you will be successful. I promise.
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