When I am off for a week or more, and eating what I used to consider "normally" (I'm not a binge eater, I don't consume thousands of calories at a time), I can gain up to a pound a day. It is super scary. If I go off ONE MEAL I am usually up 3-4 lbs the next day.
I will never be able to eat "normally" or "take a break" because I can't take a break from my body, until I'm dead, (and I don't plan on that any time soon) it is impossible. And it is what it is.
I've examined the 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Resignation. Us medifasters are usually cycling through the first four interchangeably on our journey, but we all have to reach the last stage which is Resignation. Those who don't become "Chronic Medifasters" so to speak, always gaining and losing, gaining and losing, sometimes for a lifetime. I am the classic "Yo-Yo Dieter."
I think it is important to know we can never go back to the old ways.
And we are grieving that. If I never reach resignation (also called acceptance) to and of the new limitations WILL continue to gain our weight back time and time again until I accept that my body is just different, and to have my goal of being fit and healthy I HAVE to surrender and accept this.
Denial is I don't have a problem, or I can do it my way.
Anger is I'm so mad that I even have to do this. I'll take my anger out on myself and/or others (we see this on the boards quite a bit).
Bargaining is I'll just go off for the holidays, or the wedding, or because I'm having a rough day or because I deserve it.
Depression is the weigh day afterwards, after gaining weight back over a day, a week, or a year.
Resignation/Acceptance is working the plan, getting to goal, transitioning and maintaining because we know it is the only way we will reach our goal of being fit and healthy for the rest of our lives.
When I think of the last stage, I think of Lealonni and JustPraisin'. Read their blogs and you see a quiet acceptance, a peace about the process.
I have decided to stop the cycling, and to stay in the Resignation/Acceptance phase. I do that by working the program day in and day out, and there IS such a peace about that. Knowing that I am doing everything I can, every day, to reach my goal.
Happy Medifasting!
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