Meeting.....ME.

You know how you get that tacky question every once in awhile, during mixers at parties, or get-to-know-ya meet-and-greets, the question of "If you could meet anyone living or who has ever lived, who would it be?"

Yeah.  That one.  I was thinking about that this morning as my alarm went off at 4:30 am and I dragged myself out of bed to grope around in the dark for my running shoes.

No, I wasn't actually thinking of that at that time, what I was really thinking is "Good Gosh it's early.  Again.  Will I ever get used to this?  Will it every be easy to get up at 4:30?  Wait, why AM I getting up at 4:30?  I could easily sleep in another hour and no one would care.  What, am I crazy?  Am I actually a crazy person?  OK enough, get the shoes on and get out the door get the shoes on and get out the door...."

Conversations with myself at 4:30 am do, in fact, go something like that.

But it was around the time I was completing lap 2 of my trail run, with the sun peeking through the clouds casting Gods-Rays over the dewey Arizona morning desert, it was in THAT moment of inspiration that I began thinking about that question.

Well, firstly I'd love to meet Henry Cavill.  The dedication that actor has to mastering his craft, to doing whatever it takes WITHOUT the complaining bit (unlike me in my personal conversations with myself), him getting up at 3:00 am so that he could work out to look right in the Superman Suit for the 15-hour work day ahead of him, his notorious reputation for arriving on set at 5:00 am and being the last one to leave at night to get up and start it all again the next day.  Yes, I'd like to shake his hand and thank him for being an inspiration.

And then I got to thinking, that a few years ago I had a deep desire to meet......ME.

You see, I knew that I was in there, encased in that fat suit. 

I knew that there was a whole LIFE that I was NOT living, a LIFE that was meant for ME in particular to LIVE, and I WASN'T DOING IT.  I was NOT the ME I wanted to be.....yet.

I knew that I had to potential within my soul, spirit, and mind, to rise above any perceived limitations and to become the person I 'might have' been.  I had lots of God-given potential that frankly, I was squandering by not being a good steward of this AWESOME gift He gave me, my life, my body.

I.

KNEW.

IT.

And I deeply desired it.  You see, I'd been a stranger to myself for so long.  I had a fat suit which I had worn for most of my adult life which I felt like an ALIEN inside.  I felt so INauthentic as a morbidly obese person.  And every day, looking in the mirror, I struggled with that disappointment that there was MY LIFE out there and that I had not yet STEPPED INTO IT.

I felt a sense of urgency.  I felt a sense of resolve. 

And finally, the reasons why I "couldn't" do it disappeared, because I ignored them.  Don't tell me I can't have MY life.  Don't tell me I can't be FULLY and AUTHENTICALLY ME.

Because I will prove you wrong.

The funny thing is, that it was ME telling me that I couldn't do it.  For all of those years living trapped in my fat suit, my BMI of over 48 body, I actually listened to that part of me which told me that lie.

Until I woke up.  And I realized that time is ticking.  If I'm not prepared to live MY life, then who will?  No one.  That, my friends, would have been tragic. 

So I am very happy to say that in the last 3 years I am meeting ME.

The ME I always knew I could be. 

How did that manifest itself today?  I decided to be my own hero.  I picked something that yesterday I would have said I probably couldn't do.  And I did it. 

It was lap 2 of my trail run.  And it really gave me pause, what if we could show up for ourselves a little MORE every day?  What if we could STOP those voices that say "you can't" and instead dig deep and listen to that deep deep inner voice whispering "but you CAN".

How will YOU show up for yourself today?  Will you pass on that second cup of coffee with cream because you already used your condiments on the first cup?

WIN!

Will you take the stairs to the 3rd floor at work instead of taking the elevator?  Who cares if you've never done it before!  You can do it NOW!

WIN!

Will you eat your meals on time and on schedule and weigh your cooked protein? 

WIN!

Will you empty that FIRST box in the garage, giving away what you don't need anymore to Goodwill, and throwing out what is trash?

WIN!

Will you go through your closet and give away all your clothes that are even a LITTLE BIT too big for you because no way you are EVER going back there? 

WIN!

Will you set the alarm for 1/2 hour earlier tomorrow so you can take a 20 minutes walk around the block?

WIN!

Will you stay OUT of the kitchen after your last Medifast Meal tonight, just turn out the light and go to sleep?

WIN!

Will you pour out the bottle of wine that you opened last night because you are still on the 5&1 and wine isn't encouraged until maintenance?

WIN!

Nice to meet you.

Rinse and Repeat!