Who Do I Want To Be?

That is a question I had to ask myself in July 2010 when I began my ultimate journey to health.

OH I could tell you PLENTY who I did NOT want to be at that moment.

ME.  There was really nothing ABOUT me that I could say I liked at the time.  I had so many faults and my life felt so unmanageable that there wasn't a whole lot about me I wanted to SALVAGE, to tell you the truth!

So to sit down and DECIDE who it is that I wanted to BE? 

Was a foreign concept.  But I reigned in my scattered, depressed and hopeless thoughts, and I had a heart to heart with my brain.

"Self" I thought, "Who is it that you want to be?"

"Thank you for asking.  I want to be a fit and healthy person."

"Well fantastic!  We are getting somewhere!"

"Yes, but I'm not right now and I'm so depressed about it and I don't see a way out and I can't seem to do anything right and here I am having gained ALL of my weight back plus 4 pounds to add insult to injury and my life is not manageable and my health is horrid and I feel so large and I can't seem to stick to anything for a day and......."

"WHOAH there, I didn't ask for a list of reasons why you AREN'T that person right now.  I just wanted to know who it is you WANT to be?"

"Oh.  Right.  OK.  I want to be a fit and healthy person."

"OK.  We are getting somewhere.  Now tell me, self, what types of things do fit and healthy people do?"

"Hmmmm.  Well, I suppose that fit and healthy people take care of themselves.  They have good self-management skills.  Fit and healthy people make their eating plan and activity a priority in their lives.  Fit and healthy people do these things."

"OK great start!  So, what are YOU going to DO TODAY in order that SOMEDAY YOU will BE a fit and healthy person?"

"I will take care of myself.  I will have good self-management skills.  I will make my eating plan and activity a priority in my life.  I will do these things.  Today."

And so I did.  And time passed.  And now I AM a fit and healthy person.  Because I said I wanted to be one, and then began DOING what fit and healthy people DO.

I didn't concentrate on those activities or attitudes that fit and healthy people DON'T have.   I didn't look over at my UNFIT and UNHEALTHY friend's dinner plates at restaurants and wish I could eat what they were eating.  I didn't WHINE about the DEPRIVATIONS that I was subjecting myself to and think "if only I were 'normal'!" 

I didn't want to be normal.  I wanted to be a fit and healthy person.

It was a question I asked myself often, and worked in ANY scenario or dilemma I found myself in. 

At restaurants:  Wow there is so much on this menu.  What will I order?
"Well, what would a fit and healthy person order?"  Right.  I'll take the Grilled Chicken Breast, and instead of the mashed potatoes could I have two servings of the steamed vegetables?  And we don't need the bread basket at this table thanks!"

At a movie theatre:  Wow that pocorn smells good.  Should I get some? 
"Well, what would a fit and healthy person do?"  Right.  I'll bring my healthy fueling from home and drink water.

At a friend's housewarming party where there are NO healthy options for food:  I think everyone is staring at me and thinking I'm on a diet because I don't have a plate.  Should I put some chips on my plate? 
"Well, what would a fit and healthy person do?"  Right.  A fit and healthy person would be more interested in the PEOPLE and the CONVERSATION than what was on his/her/or anyone else's plate. 

Contemplating getting in some healthy motion:  UGHHHH I really don't wanna.
"What would a fit and healthy person do?"  Right.  Get the shoes on and get out the door.  Thanks!  This works!

Who do YOU want to be?  Once you decide, then DO what that person would do.  And you will BECOME.

Transformation.  I love it.

Rinse and Repeat!