There is one side-effect of re-orienting yourself towards health that I wanted to visit on with today's blog.
I'm
a bit at a loss for words because I don't really know how to say it
without appearing judgmental or elitist. My heart is neither, so please
take my words for what they are, my imperfect attempt at documenting my
journey in a way that is meaningful to me, and that may help other
people who stumble across the words.
As I have gone from Super
Obese, to Morbidly Obese, to "just" Clinically Obese Class I and II, to
Overweight, to Healthy Weight, as I have walked my journey from Sick to
Un-Sick to Optimal Health to Ultra Health, I have noticed my
associations and friendships have radically changed.
I stopped
getting invitations to "girls nights out" which had included decadent
desserts, and ample wine, that was the first clue I had that things were
changing. It seems like I had two types of friends, those who were
ALSO getting healthy, and those who didn't want to get together for
coffee with me anymore, for some reason.
Now, granted, I
realize that since I drank the Kool-Aid of this plan (LOL) and how it
was THE ultimate tool if used correctly to bring health into our own
lives, I can rarely have a conversation with anyone, friend OR stranger,
which doesn't include, in some way, how grateful I am that I found it
and implemented it in my own life.
But I feel like I've been
given a second chance at LIFE. Heck, a FIRST chance at LIFE! What I
was doing before wasn't truly living, it was existing, and barely at
that. There were times I remember vividly before my son was born, when
my husband would leave the house and come home an hour later to find me
in the same spot on the couch. Somehow, when I was alone, I, at times,
didn't feel like I even existed. I was kind of a space holder of
oxygen. I only felt like I was THERE if there was someone else in the
room to validate my existence, because it seems I didn't have it in me
at the time to validate my OWN existence.
OK I know that is getting WAY deep and veering off the topic of this particular blog.
With
my new health identity, the one that I have created because it felt
most authentically ME (I found me, by the way, with this program and
what it has allowed me to bring into my life...apparently I was missing
for most of my adult obese life, but I found me again!), comes the
phenomenon of re-orienting my friends and my community, my PEEPS.
I'm
getting healthy and taking as many people with me as possible. Some of
my friends weren't coming. That's OK. I didn't change MY behavior to
make THEM feel more comfortable, and so they were stuck in their
discomfort when they were around me so they began to minimize those
encounters. I can say that YES I have actually LOST a friend or two
because of my decision to get and to remain healthy, because it isn't
just about what I eat, it is a MINDSET. And some of my old friends and
acquaintances are inspired when they see me continuing to live the life I
have chosen, and some of my old friends and acquaintances willfully
made the decision to stop seeing me live it because they felt guilt or
sadness that they haven't chosen to get healthy themselves, it is too
painful for them to be reminded that health is a choice they are
choosing not to make. Also, I am not the person I was a few years ago.
That person took comfort in food, and between bites lamented that her
jeans were too tight. That person ended a hard day by baking a pan of
brownies and buying a pint of Ben and Jerry's for her husband and
herself to split. That person whined about how tired she was all the
time, how her back hurt every morning getting out of bed, and saw the
negative in everything. It is really no wonder that I don't hang with
the same people, because I am not the same person. So, I suppose it is
like a bait-and-switch. I'm no longer someone's "drinking buddy" when
it comes to food, and since I've become the equivalent of "sober" some
of my old "drinking buddy" ("foodie buddy") friends think I'm no fun to
hang out with anymore. Granted I'm OK with that!
I make the
hard decision ever day to orient my life and my day around what matters
most to me. People only see the highlight reel. It doesn't get easier,
but it is a joyful joyful JOYFUL!!! journey! It does get more natural,
meaning it is more and more my default to see myself as a healthy
person, to see myself as a runner, to see myself as an athlete, but it
still takes mindful direction of my thoughts and that choice every
morning to continue to be the person I DESIRE to be, and behave in a
manner in which that person would BEHAVE.
AND the cool thing is
this, I have met SO MANY AMAZING LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE on this journey that
the friends that I have MADE because I decided to get healthy far
exceed the number of friends I have lost by about 200:1, I kid you not!
Firstly, the coaching community that I'm a part of (virtually, since we
live all over the United States and even Puerto Rico!), inspires me
ever single day to live my best life and to be my best me. The people I
meet who decide to walk along side me towards health are vibrant and
hopeful, and making the decision themselves to live their best life!
The folks I meet on the trail when I do my trail runs are committed to
health.
So the decadent dessert and wine parties will always
continue, the potlucks and the cookie exchanges, and the invitations
don't materialize, and that is OK because I've been filling my life and
my time with those things which will better my situation, my family's
situation, or my community's situation.
I always have my radar
up, though, for people who are looking to make a change in their lives
from obesity to health, and any of my friends and associations can join
me on the path because there is plenty of room and I LOVE COMPANY!!!!
=)
Rinse and Repeat!
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