To BE or not to BE.....

Free!

I am free to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, in whatever quantity I want.  Thing is, I WANT only that which will allow me to attain and maintain a healthy weight.

I am free to find my true potential in every area of my life.  The extra weight kept me a prisoner to the "hope" and the "desire" and the "longing" to "lose weight" and so I never had room for any other dreams in my mind.  Getting healthy opened up ALL of my dream potential!  I now dream of running the Paris Marathon.  I now dream of getting my Masters and then my Ph.D in Nutrition with an emphasis on Obesity Science.  I now dream of being a public speaker nationwide to tell people they don't have to be held captive by their fat suit any longer, they are FREE to choose the better life.  And it IS a better life, in my estimation.  Everything is easier and less stressful now that I'm not an overweight or obese individual.  Do I still have problems and stress?  Yes, but they aren't compounded by my inability to move around, to breathe fully, to sleep well, or to make a good first impression.  So, yeah, better! 

I am free to be the best ME I can be.  And I can't put a dollar figure on that, so when people tell me "but the food is expensive" I don't even know what to say anymore.  Being fat is expensive too.  It will cost you EVERYTHING you have, it will take attention away from your family, it will make your vacations less fun because you can't go horseback riding.  You can't go swimming in the ocean.  You can't jet-ski.  You can't paraglide.  You can't hike, bike, or do the limbo.  You aren't FREE to do ANY of those things, and I remember always being the one covered from head to toe with a cover-up and a hat, sitting under the umbrella with a good book (which was never so good) and a margarita while everyone else was playing volleyball or building sand castles.

And I will never be that person anymore.  She wasn't me.  I wasn't her.  I never felt comfortable in my fat suit, it was as if I was screaming from inside "wait, this is wrong...this isn't me!  I'm in here!"

It felt so foreign to have my chest resting on my steering wheel whenever I drove anyplace.  I felt so invisible walking around airports or school campuses or shopping malls because no one, and I do mean NO ONE wanted to make eye contact with me or smile at me.  Be careful, oooooh be careful not to step in any designer women's clothes stores because I'll catch the scornful look of the sales lady as she thinks "there's nothing in HERE for YOU".

Yes it is a cruel world for the obese individual.  I remember well.  Because I WAS a morbidly Class 4 SUPER obese individual for most of my adult life.

I remember getting married at a svelte 122 pounds.  I had yo-yo'd with my weight for high school and college, getting a handle on it, then gaining a few, then getting a handle on it, then gaining a few.

Then I got married, and somehow proceeded to gain 10 pounds a year for 10 years.

Don't ask me why.  I don't have an answer for you.  I've never succumbed to the therapy chair to try to unravel the mysteries of why I did that to myself.  I have never felt the need, I knew I wasn't an abused child in any way, just a shy one.  I knew that I used food for comfort, entertainment, stress release, and to feel loved.  Thing is, that food never truly gave any of that back to me.  Do you know what it gave back to me?  Heartache.  Remorse.  Shame.  Sickness.  Plantar Fasciitis.  A sore back.  Snoring.  Sleeplessness.  Guilt.  Feelings of inadequacy.  Obesity-related Depression.  Doesn't sound like the things that a friend gives you, does it?  Unless it is a co-dependent relationship. 

When I decided to CHANGE that relationship I had with food is when the tide turned for me.  Or rather, I TURNED THE TIDE for MYSELF.  You see, hope is NOT a strategy.  Hope is the underlying mechanism to cause us to develop a strategy, but we must take that step and then implement that strategy in order for our hope to be realized.  But not just any strategy, the strategy that WORKS, the strategy that will yeild results.

"Hoping" you will lose weight while simultaneously acting in a manner in which you don't stay on plan makes as much sense as "hoping" you'll win the lottery but failing to buy your ticket.  It is the WRONG strategy to realize the hope that you have, therefore your hope will NEVER materialize if you don't buy that ticket.  Same thing with the Medifast 5&1 Plan.  You can "hope" all day that you will "lose weight this week" but then head off to Auntie Ethel and Uncle Joe's BBQ where Ethel has made her world-famous award-winning blue-ribbon Lemon Meringue Pie, and  you can spend all 3 hours you are there dancing circles around that pie, thinking about that pie, longing for a piece of that pie, then creating so much tension around that pie that you absolutely MUST have a SLIVER in order that your brain will cease TORMENTING you about that PIE!

 I CAN control what I put in my mouth for 24 hours.  And that's all I need to do.  That is my part.  To have a plan, and to execute that plan TODAY.  Just today.  I am FREE to take my health in whatever direction I want to.  But to do NOTHING or to give this plan half of the attention it deserves, to take bites licks and tastes thereby rendering the plan powerless to effect a real change in my life is NOT a strategy which will ultimately lead to long-term success.

And the "I lost weight anyway!" sentiment?  Great.  I'm happy for you.  I'm happy that you momentarily validated a strategy that will fail.  No, I'm not really, but if you believe the lie you are telling yourself that you can continue to do a version of the plan and have long term success, I just need to pipe in and be a voice of reason for you to tell you "nope, won't happen".  Because you are treating this as a diet still.  And diets fail.  You are sneaking things and hoping you will "get away with it" by "at least I'm no gaining weight" or "I still lost 1/4 pound this week so it must be OK".  Good luck with that.

I want everyone to succeed!  But you've been doing this "your way" all your life, and where has it ultimately gotten you?  Are you ready to submit to THE plan and be FREE to choose optimal health?

Are you ready?

Rinse and Repeat!