First Impressions....

A recent discussion board post about insecurities got me thinking, so I wanted to cross-post part of my response here, and elaborate somewhat more on the topic. 

Kate posted this:

"I read this great quote today (on Facebook) that really resonated with me especially when it comes to weight loss.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
— Steve Furtick

I'm going to try to remember this when I see "skinny people" and resent them for not having to watch what they eat or exercise the way I feel like I have to. When their lives seem so perfect, I'll try to remember that I'm only seeing their public face, not their private struggles."
And it really got me thinking.  I remembered an impression I got a couple of weeks ago.
I was sitting in a Coffee Shop near my home which is the home of the best cupcakes in Arizona. They've won awards, been winners on "Cupcake Wars", etc.

Anyway, two ladies walked in and saw me sitting at a table with my double-espresso in my little ceramic cup, my ice water, as I was reading my book "7-Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. The ladies were extremely obese, as I used to be. They stood in line, ordered their blended coffee milkshakes and cupcakes, and sat at the next table to eat them. They were literally me, 2 years ago. One was dressed in sweat pants and a man's T-shirt, which is what I used to wear also. The other was in stylish plus sized jeans, and a button-down plus-sized blouse, with shoes that looked like they were killing her feet. They were both very, very unhealthy and at that moment were choosing to further their habits of disease.

The only thing that separated me from them was that I was choosing, at that moment, to further my habits of health, and had been for several years now.

But they saw my "highlight reel", a couple of years into the process of choosing health, which was a petite blonde lady studying a book and drinking an espresso. And if they WERE like me they may have also thought "That lady doesn't know what it's like to have to be on a diet. She probably eats whatever she wants and never gains an ounce."

Impressions are funny things. Some days I feel like I work as hard if not harder than an Olympic-level Athlete to choose health on a daily basis. We just have no idea what other people are dealing with when they leave the coffee shop. I have found that most people are just like me! We live our lives, we make our choices, and we deal with the consequences of those choices.

I went home and told my husband that I had become "THAT person who can eat whatever she wants and never gain an ounce.  At least I LOOK like I am her.  In reality, I'm not because it's not true that I can eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce.  So I have to guard my wants, and make sure that if I "want" a cupcake I deal with that desire in a way that doesn't have me acting on it.  Most of what we do to make healthy choices begins in our minds.  And whatever desire we nurture the most is the desire that will win the day.  Do I want the nummy cupcake?  Or do I want health?  Because I WILL get what I want. 


So the way that COULD be true is that I have changed my wants sufficiently so that I do indeed WANT that double espresso and glass of ice water INSTEAD of the cupcake, that I have trained myself to default to the healthy choice and NOT to pine away infront of the cupcake case.

How do you change your wants?  Intentionally.  I made a list of all the blessings and all the positive things that I would be creating and bringing into my life as a result of getting healthy, then I posted that list everywhere I could.  I put it on a 3 X 5 index card in a ziplock bag and hung it around my shower head.  I wrote it down on a sticky note and put it on my bathroom mirror.  I thought about them every day as I rose, and I think about them every day as I rise now. 

That way this isn't just one big deprivation, because I'm defining my life in terms other than food terms.   If you aren't "there" yet, don't worry!  It is a skill that takes some time to develop, but do begin somewhere!

Rinse and repeat!