Looking back on my journey to Ultra
Health I see many things that have been different "this time".
Different by design. Different with intention. Not accidentally
different, not "I hope that someday I will...." different.
I've become an active participant in my health journey, not a powerless bystander just watching events unfold.
One
of the things that I have changed on this journey is that I refused to
stay the person who I was before. I knew that if I did not change some
core fundamentals of how I viewed me, and how I viewed the world, and
indeed how I viewed optimal health in general, that I would end up
gaining my weight back AGAIN, provided I lost it AGAIN in the first
place!
So, I stayed connected with my Health Coach for
accountability and support, and I bought a journal (a really nice one!),
and began intentionally reading Dr. A's Habits of Health to find out
WHO this person was who I wanted to be. This healthy person. This
person who I knew was inside of me, just waiting to come out.
How
did I know she was inside of me? Because I was severely unhappy with
who I had become, at Class IV Super Obese, weighing 272 pounds and
walking with a cane. So much so that it pained me to look in mirrors. I
felt like I didn't exist, I felt like I had nothing positive to
contribute to the world or my community, to my family or even, really to
myself.
And something inside me knew that was a lie. And
something inside me knew that in order to LIVE I needed to stop
believing that LIE and BECOME the person I always knew that I COULD be,
the person I MIGHT HAVE BEEN. I had turned 40, and I knew that I was
tired, already, of living a life of regrets.
So, I submitted to
the process fully. I suspended my own ideas and my own judgment,
because I knew that they were faulty as regards my own health, and I was
willing to learn a new way of thinking.
This way of thinking is not hocus pocus magic fairy dust, but I can tell you that it absolutely changed my life AS IF it were.
This
way of thinking takes some faith. It took faith that I COULD be
optimally and even ultra healthy. That was a big hurdle, let me tell
you. Because if I relied on PAST performance as my frame of reference
as to whether this was even POSSIBLE or not, I would have said "Nope.
Not. Possible."
So I abandoned past performance altogether. I
ignored it. I made a DECISION that I was going to be a HEALTHY person,
and then guess what? I started ACTING like it. I started ACTING like I
WAS a healthy person. I began to explore the habits of health outlined
in Dr. A's Book and implement them in my OWN life, because that is what
healthy people do, they practice habits of health, NOT habits of
disease.
Was I "perfect"? No. Because I also abandoned the
"all-or-nothing" mentality that perfectionists employ as their main tool
to justify inaction.
Did you know that? Perfectionists often
don't even ACT because if they can't do it PERFECTLY they don't want to
do it at ALL. In these cases, doing it "perfectly" becomes the goal and
I didn't have room in my brain to play around with that stuff anymore.
I chose to risk some IMPERFECTION in my journey IN ORDER THAT I might
attain Optimal Health.
I began to ask myself questions like "Who
Am I?" and "What am I in the HABIT of doing?" and "Am I oriented TOWARDS
health or AWAY from health on this day and with this decision?"
When
I began to frame things NOT as a success/failure scenario, not as a
"doing it perfectly" scenario, not as an "all-or-nothing" scenario and
certainly not as a moral "good or bad" scenario, when I INSTEAD began to
view everything in light of whether it would take me closer to the
person I wanted to be or farther from her, THEN I began to adhere with
joy to the Medifast 5&1 Plan. Joy. Not pain, not a sense of
failure, not guilt, not even when I faltered. It was all joyful. If I
fell, if I slipped on a banana peel because I temporarily lost sight of
my primary goal of optimal health, I said "No worries Mate! The next
decision WILL be oriented towards health!" and I was consistent with
THAT. I didn't use those slips as excuses to say "well, I knew I
couldn't do it perfectly so I will never succeed" because that is a LIE,
it was the MAIN lie that I had been telling myself on past attempts "to
lose weight".
So who is this person that I wanted to be? I
had to really define her, I had to get specific about what she did and
how she lived her life, so that I could do what she would do!
I
decided that I wanted to be someone who was authentically healthy. The
real deal. Someone who modeled health for her family and her community.
I wanted to be a person who consistently made decisions that were
healthy decisions, and bearing in mind my propensity to store extra
calories as fat every time I consume them, I needed to make pretty rigid
health decisions fairly consistently or I'd see the slow (or not so
slow) creep back up the scale and in to UNhealthy habits.
It is really all about FUNDAMENTAL CHOICE. In Chapter 4 of Dr. A's Habits of Health (page 28), he speaks of it this way:
"Fundamental
choice is what defines our state of being. It's where we stand. I'ts
our choice to be free and healthy. It's what we're willing to fight
for. Let's take an example: Say you try to quit smoking, but you've
never really made the fundamental choice to be a non-smoker. Nothing
will work, not even methods that others have found successful. Soon
you'll be back to your two-pack-a-day habit. If, on th other hand, you
do make the fundamental choice to be a nonsmoker, just about any method
will work - and in fact you'll find yourself attracted to the methods
that work particularly well. It's the same with any fundamental
choice. Once you make the decision to be healthy, you've made it your
business to act in accordance with your goal. You are taking full
responsibility for your actions rather than letting your circumstances
drive your decisions. You become the author of your own life story.
It's important to accept the fact that no one can do it for you. Others
can help with their advice, good wishes, guidance, experience, medical
insight and understanding of human patterns and motivation. But it will
always come down to you. If you're thinking "I'll do my best but it is
really someone else's job to see to it that it works" then you haven't
made this fundamental choice. Most of us have been raised to rect to
circumstances. We haven't been taught to believe that we can adopt a
fundamental, self-generated resolve. But in fact this is how we take
charge of our lives. - by realizing that, not matter the circumstances,
no matter the temptation, we can do what we know is right because we've
taken a stand for the choices we hold most important."
I made a
fundamental choice that I was going to BE a healthy person. Getting the
excess weight off WAS a factor in that, but it isn't the ONLY factor,
it is simply the FIRST factor. My excess weight needed to be addressed
FIRST AND FOREMOST because it was the biggest hindrance to me BEING a
healthy person. So I dealt with it by incorporating the habit of
remaining on a clinically proven safe and effective plan designed to do
JUST THAT.
Are YOU on the path to health? Do you even WANT to
be? Are you willing to make a FUNDAMENTAL CHOICE to be optimally
healthy? If so, what can you do today to support that choice? How will
you act today which will AGREE with your fundamental choice?
If
you begin to view every decision you make in light of this fundamental
choice you will find this journey simple and joyful. Simple. Joyful.
Because when we really want something, when our "WHY" is strong enough,
and we have the right tools, the HOW takes care of itself.
Rinse and Repeat!
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