.....Is not a myth! Target fixation. As per Wiki, here is the definition:
"Target fixation is a process by which the brain is focused so intently on an observed object that awareness of other obstacles or hazards can diminish. Also, in an avoidance
scenario, the observer can become so fixated on the target that they
will forget to take the necessary action to avoid it, thus colliding with the object.
This is a common issue for motorcyclists and mountain bikers. A motorcycle or bicycle will tend to go where the rider is looking; if the rider is overly
focused on an obstacle, the cycle can collide with that object simply
because of the rider's focus on it, even though the rider is ostensibly
trying to avoid it.
The term target fixation was used in World War II fighter-bomber pilot training to describe pilots flying into targets during a strafing or bombing run."
I've brought over a video from YouTube of this very phenomenon. *Warning, graphic*. The cyclists and the motorcyclist are all OK in the end. But here you will see a motorcyclist, and you can tell by his steering that he SEES the cyclists. He tries to AVOID the cyclists but by the very fact that he is CONCENTRATING on NOT hitting the cyclists, he HITS the CYCLISTS.
What is it that we are trying so hard to NOT HIT? What are we focusing all our energy on NOT DOING? What behaviors do we TRY TO AVOID? According the the phenomenon of Target Fixation, it is these very behaviors that by our very focus on NOT doing them, we will DO them.
Why is this? I believe it has something to do with structural tension. Structural tension is talked about in Dr. A's Habits of Health and it is a very real useful tool, but it can also be disastrous if we are focusing on the wrong things. You see, when we focus on something, whether it is DOING something or even NOT doing something, there is a certain amount of unresolved tension that our brains feel. As we go about our day, our brains run a program in the background of our daily activites which seeks to resolve the unresolved tension, because if there is anything our brains are GOOD at it is SOLVING PUZZLES and working out SOLUTIONS. We experience a similar thing when we hear PART of a song but not the whole thing, that song will be playing in our brains all day long it seems like, because there was no conclusion. Our brains like things neatly concluded, wrapped up, and put away. Unresolved tension, either positive or negative, necessarily seeks a solution.
Which is why commercials are so effective, by the way.
OK back to the focusing on the negative behaviors. If we spend all of our time focusing on NOT doing what we DON'T want to do, our brains will see that as negative tension and it will build up and build up because whether we want to do it or not we are FOCUSED on it. And like the motorcycle into the cyclists, we will collide with that negative behavior we are trying to avoid every time.
The solution? Replace the negative behavior with a positive one. Focus on the habits of health, the healthy behaviors that you WANT to do. They will overwrite the negative behaviors, and the negative behaviors will go in to hibernation. They won't go away forever, but they can be suppressed intentionally not by trying NOT to do them, but by developing healthy habits that you can do INSTEAD.
So what will you do today? What habit of health will you bring IN to your life? Focus on THAT and you will collide (in a GOOD way!) with THAT!
Rinse and Repeat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNFaAqS2f18
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Does Tomorrow Ever Come?
Something I seem to learn time and time again is that the best of intentions do not a reputation make. It is ACTION that speaks louder than words ever can.
Sometimes I have rested in the security of my INTENTIONS only to realize I've actually been stuck in an oscillating pattern of denial.
For example, ever try this one on yourself? "Yeah, I know I'm up a few pounds but I can always get that off....."
It's the "Always" part that is a dead giveaway for me now. When I start those rationalizing "Always" statements in my head is when I know I need to step back and really have a look at what I mean to do. The actions I mean to take.
Because this plan works SO well that it can give me a false sense of security when I start thinking "well I can ALWAYS get serious and just do it already."
Really? How is that working out for me? Am I ALWAYS saying that and NEVER doing it?
So really what I need to hear when I tell myself that is....
"Blah blah blah."
Because that is about the meat of the issue.
Henry Ford did say that a reputation is not built on intention. It is built on action. I want to be the one that proves to myself every day that I can consistently practice the habits of health. Over and over. Today. Not tomorrow. Today.
Because last I checked, tomorrow NEVER comes. My life has, since the day I was born, been a bunch of "todays" lined up in a neat little row. So what am I doing TODAY to meet my goals? What am I doing with my NEXT decision?
Rinsing and Repeating, that's what!
Sometimes I have rested in the security of my INTENTIONS only to realize I've actually been stuck in an oscillating pattern of denial.
For example, ever try this one on yourself? "Yeah, I know I'm up a few pounds but I can always get that off....."
It's the "Always" part that is a dead giveaway for me now. When I start those rationalizing "Always" statements in my head is when I know I need to step back and really have a look at what I mean to do. The actions I mean to take.
Because this plan works SO well that it can give me a false sense of security when I start thinking "well I can ALWAYS get serious and just do it already."
Really? How is that working out for me? Am I ALWAYS saying that and NEVER doing it?
So really what I need to hear when I tell myself that is....
"Blah blah blah."
Because that is about the meat of the issue.
Henry Ford did say that a reputation is not built on intention. It is built on action. I want to be the one that proves to myself every day that I can consistently practice the habits of health. Over and over. Today. Not tomorrow. Today.
Because last I checked, tomorrow NEVER comes. My life has, since the day I was born, been a bunch of "todays" lined up in a neat little row. So what am I doing TODAY to meet my goals? What am I doing with my NEXT decision?
Rinsing and Repeating, that's what!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Changing the Paradigm. From Excess to Contentment.
We live in an amazing country, don't
we? On this Memorial Day I want to pause just a moment and remember
the sacrifices that so many have made in order that we can live free and
in relative safety. This great American Experiment has resulted in an
amazing country for us to live in, with amazing opportunities for all.
One of the opportunities we have is to pursue happiness. That is really what, for me, this process of getting healthy is all about. I am exercising my right to pursue happiness.
My own personal journey to health has taught me many things. One is forgive yourself early and often, love yourself, and always do what is BEST for yourself in every circumstances. It meant learning that what was BEST for me wasn't always what I necessarily WANTED to do or FELT like doing at the time.
You see, I have wrestled, for much of my life until recently, with a tendency towards excess.
And in this country it is not hard to pursue excess. Because hey, if some is good, more is better.....RIGHT?
In the area of STUFF:
I accumulated collections of this and that, things I could never possibly use all of, but just wanted to HAVE for some reason. Teacups. Depression Glass. Fireking Jadeite dishware. Shoes. Dale of Norway Sweaters. Quilts. Coffee mugs. Bakeware. Cake pans. Candy making moulds. Cookie cutters. Cookbooks. If I was going to take an interest in something, I wanted ALL OF IT. As MUCH of it as I could obtain.
Excess. Much more than I could possibly use, much more than I could possibly need in ANY circumstance.
What I didn't realize was this attitude extended to my life situation also. I did this with food. I packed excess energy on my body. I filled up my fat cells and carried the long-term energy around with me because I ate more than I needed for my immediate needs. Being fat is a form of hoarding. It is eating much MORE calories than I needed, setting emotional reasons aside it truly was hoarding food on my person.
Excess. Much more than I could possibly use, much more than I could possibly need in ANY circumstance.
When I realized what I was doing to myself, because of my tendency towards excess (gluttony, really, but not limited to food), I had a realy hard look at myself and evaluated what I was going to do about it.
I determined that I would BEGIN PRACTICING CONTENTMENT. Paul talks about contentment in Philippians 4:11 "For I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances". WHATEVER the circumstances. He LEARNED to be content. That means he wasn't before, but made it a priority to learn it and practice it.
I am well in to my journey of learning and practicing contentment. Some days are easier than others. But every day I have the choice to BE content in my present circumstance. Whether that circumstance is my desire to bring my body in to energy balance and rid myself of the excess energy stores I was hoarding (fat), whether it is selling all but my 6 favorite teacups on Ebay, whether it is giving all but 2 of my quilts to Goodwill, WHATEVER the circumstance, I am learning to be content with what I have, and to only accumulate what I NEED.
This includes food. I stopped hoarding food in my house, and I stopped hoarding calories in my fat cells. Letting it all go. Letting that desire for excess ANYTHING just go away by practicing contentment has been one of the greatest gifts I can give myself. Simplifying my plan, simplifying my life, all of that has lifted such a heavy burden, both on my physical person (fat), AND in my possessions (our garage is CLEAN and UNCLUTTERED!) is such a peaceful feeling.
I also noticed it in the area of weight loss. I was not bothered when I had "only" lost half a pound or 1 pound in a week because I was not frantic to accumulate SUCCESS. I was CONTENT to let the process that I had committed myself to over the long haul really work itself out by me being diligent and doing the work. So whether I lose 4 pounds in a week or 1/4 of a pound, I am practicing contentment.
So this Memorial Day, will you begin practicing contentment? Will you put down the burden of that urgency to accumulate, be it food, pounds, weight losses, success, WHATEVER it is, and practice contentment?
Rinse and Repeat!
One of the opportunities we have is to pursue happiness. That is really what, for me, this process of getting healthy is all about. I am exercising my right to pursue happiness.
My own personal journey to health has taught me many things. One is forgive yourself early and often, love yourself, and always do what is BEST for yourself in every circumstances. It meant learning that what was BEST for me wasn't always what I necessarily WANTED to do or FELT like doing at the time.
You see, I have wrestled, for much of my life until recently, with a tendency towards excess.
And in this country it is not hard to pursue excess. Because hey, if some is good, more is better.....RIGHT?
In the area of STUFF:
I accumulated collections of this and that, things I could never possibly use all of, but just wanted to HAVE for some reason. Teacups. Depression Glass. Fireking Jadeite dishware. Shoes. Dale of Norway Sweaters. Quilts. Coffee mugs. Bakeware. Cake pans. Candy making moulds. Cookie cutters. Cookbooks. If I was going to take an interest in something, I wanted ALL OF IT. As MUCH of it as I could obtain.
Excess. Much more than I could possibly use, much more than I could possibly need in ANY circumstance.
What I didn't realize was this attitude extended to my life situation also. I did this with food. I packed excess energy on my body. I filled up my fat cells and carried the long-term energy around with me because I ate more than I needed for my immediate needs. Being fat is a form of hoarding. It is eating much MORE calories than I needed, setting emotional reasons aside it truly was hoarding food on my person.
Excess. Much more than I could possibly use, much more than I could possibly need in ANY circumstance.
When I realized what I was doing to myself, because of my tendency towards excess (gluttony, really, but not limited to food), I had a realy hard look at myself and evaluated what I was going to do about it.
I determined that I would BEGIN PRACTICING CONTENTMENT. Paul talks about contentment in Philippians 4:11 "For I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances". WHATEVER the circumstances. He LEARNED to be content. That means he wasn't before, but made it a priority to learn it and practice it.
I am well in to my journey of learning and practicing contentment. Some days are easier than others. But every day I have the choice to BE content in my present circumstance. Whether that circumstance is my desire to bring my body in to energy balance and rid myself of the excess energy stores I was hoarding (fat), whether it is selling all but my 6 favorite teacups on Ebay, whether it is giving all but 2 of my quilts to Goodwill, WHATEVER the circumstance, I am learning to be content with what I have, and to only accumulate what I NEED.
This includes food. I stopped hoarding food in my house, and I stopped hoarding calories in my fat cells. Letting it all go. Letting that desire for excess ANYTHING just go away by practicing contentment has been one of the greatest gifts I can give myself. Simplifying my plan, simplifying my life, all of that has lifted such a heavy burden, both on my physical person (fat), AND in my possessions (our garage is CLEAN and UNCLUTTERED!) is such a peaceful feeling.
I also noticed it in the area of weight loss. I was not bothered when I had "only" lost half a pound or 1 pound in a week because I was not frantic to accumulate SUCCESS. I was CONTENT to let the process that I had committed myself to over the long haul really work itself out by me being diligent and doing the work. So whether I lose 4 pounds in a week or 1/4 of a pound, I am practicing contentment.
So this Memorial Day, will you begin practicing contentment? Will you put down the burden of that urgency to accumulate, be it food, pounds, weight losses, success, WHATEVER it is, and practice contentment?
Rinse and Repeat!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Happy Weekend! Happy Holiday Saturday Weekend!
Today is a day to celebrate because it is a HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!
How will you celebrate? I'll tell you how I will NOT celebrate:
I will NOT celebrate by thinking I can "relax" my eating plan and take a vacation from my body.
I will NOT celebrate by sabotaging myself TODAY to take the pressure off Monday. How THAT would look if I chose to do it would be that SINCE I knew I was going to be celebrating Memorial Day with friends and family at a BBQ, I was anticipating that stressful situation (because I chose to make it stressful and all about what I could "eat" or not instead of focusing on the social aspect) I decided to be "bad" on my "diet" TODAY so that I could then just say "well I'm already off, I might as well ride this tide and start over on Tuesday".
Have you ever done that? Have you ever pre-sabotaged yourself so that you could really cut loose "guilt free" on the occasion you wanted to?
Say you have a Birthday tomorrow, would you go off plan today so that you could relieve the tension of "having" to stay on your "diet" on your Birthday?
I used to do that ALL THE TIME, when health was NOT my primary concern. When the scale, and the number it read wasn't even my primary concern. I recognize that I used to get that attitude when all I was really worried about was NOT GAINING WEIGHT.
I had to really dig down deep and make a decision towards OPTIMAL HEALTH when I decided that my journey wasn't simply going to be about NOT GAINING WEIGHT.
What is your goal? Do you enter your weekend thinking "as long as I can maintain this week I'm happy". Really? That is GREAT thinking if you are in maintenance, but are you in maintenance? If not, then the most appropriate thing to do in order to continue to move towards what you SAID you wanted is to make a plan for the weekend and stay on your plan.
I know all about "but it's hard on the weekends I'm so unstructured, whereas I'm structured with my schedule during the week and so it is easy."
Well I ask you, who is in charge of your schedule on the weekends? YOU! You can fix that whole "unstructured/unscheduled" thing in 5 minutes on a Friday evening by taking out a piece of paper and creating a loose structure for your weekend. Either that, or just get comfortable having your Program running in the background, as the wallpaper so to speak of your weekend, so that structured OR unstructured there is one constant, and that is your eating plan. Your purposeful, intentional eating plan, the one that you said you wanted to do in order to get where you want to go.
There is a great little feature on your cell-phone called an "Alarm" which you can even set JUST for Saturdays and Sundays to repeat.
Set your alarms to go off every 3 hours on Saturdays and Sundays. This is your "eat and drink" alarm. When you wake up, first thing, drink 8 ounces of water, and then every time the alarm goes off (should be 6 times), eat a Medifast Meal (or your Lean and green) and drink 16 ounces of water. Then drink 8 more ounces of water at bedtime and you are good to go!
There! Now you are "structured".
Do you see what you are really saying when you are saying "but it's so hard when I'm not structured like during the week"? You are saying that you have no intrinsic motivation to do this plan. You are saying that you can do this only when you don't have to think about it, only when you are so distracted by other things that yummy food thoughts can't enter your brain. You are saying that you lack the foresight and the planning capabilities to take care of yourself over the weekend, that you are simply responding in an undisciplined and spontaneous way to things that happen TO YOU over the weekend.
You are letting life happen to YOU instead of YOU happening on LIFE.
Is this you? Are you letting life happen to YOU?
I know that for much of my adult life I allowed life to happen to ME. This made me a victim. A victim of my own making.
Do you wake up on Monday mornings (or on this Holiday weekend, Tuesday morning) and feel like you were a victim of the weekend? Then STOP IT! Honestly, stop being a victim. Be a victor instead. Schedule your weekend. Schedule your meals. Do a little bit of planning and preparation so that you don't allow yourself to be tossed around like a boat with no sail on a choppy sea, with no direction.
Maintain. Your. Course.
Rinse and Repeat!
How will you celebrate? I'll tell you how I will NOT celebrate:
I will NOT celebrate by thinking I can "relax" my eating plan and take a vacation from my body.
I will NOT celebrate by sabotaging myself TODAY to take the pressure off Monday. How THAT would look if I chose to do it would be that SINCE I knew I was going to be celebrating Memorial Day with friends and family at a BBQ, I was anticipating that stressful situation (because I chose to make it stressful and all about what I could "eat" or not instead of focusing on the social aspect) I decided to be "bad" on my "diet" TODAY so that I could then just say "well I'm already off, I might as well ride this tide and start over on Tuesday".
Have you ever done that? Have you ever pre-sabotaged yourself so that you could really cut loose "guilt free" on the occasion you wanted to?
Say you have a Birthday tomorrow, would you go off plan today so that you could relieve the tension of "having" to stay on your "diet" on your Birthday?
I used to do that ALL THE TIME, when health was NOT my primary concern. When the scale, and the number it read wasn't even my primary concern. I recognize that I used to get that attitude when all I was really worried about was NOT GAINING WEIGHT.
I had to really dig down deep and make a decision towards OPTIMAL HEALTH when I decided that my journey wasn't simply going to be about NOT GAINING WEIGHT.
What is your goal? Do you enter your weekend thinking "as long as I can maintain this week I'm happy". Really? That is GREAT thinking if you are in maintenance, but are you in maintenance? If not, then the most appropriate thing to do in order to continue to move towards what you SAID you wanted is to make a plan for the weekend and stay on your plan.
I know all about "but it's hard on the weekends I'm so unstructured, whereas I'm structured with my schedule during the week and so it is easy."
Well I ask you, who is in charge of your schedule on the weekends? YOU! You can fix that whole "unstructured/unscheduled" thing in 5 minutes on a Friday evening by taking out a piece of paper and creating a loose structure for your weekend. Either that, or just get comfortable having your Program running in the background, as the wallpaper so to speak of your weekend, so that structured OR unstructured there is one constant, and that is your eating plan. Your purposeful, intentional eating plan, the one that you said you wanted to do in order to get where you want to go.
There is a great little feature on your cell-phone called an "Alarm" which you can even set JUST for Saturdays and Sundays to repeat.
Set your alarms to go off every 3 hours on Saturdays and Sundays. This is your "eat and drink" alarm. When you wake up, first thing, drink 8 ounces of water, and then every time the alarm goes off (should be 6 times), eat a Medifast Meal (or your Lean and green) and drink 16 ounces of water. Then drink 8 more ounces of water at bedtime and you are good to go!
There! Now you are "structured".
Do you see what you are really saying when you are saying "but it's so hard when I'm not structured like during the week"? You are saying that you have no intrinsic motivation to do this plan. You are saying that you can do this only when you don't have to think about it, only when you are so distracted by other things that yummy food thoughts can't enter your brain. You are saying that you lack the foresight and the planning capabilities to take care of yourself over the weekend, that you are simply responding in an undisciplined and spontaneous way to things that happen TO YOU over the weekend.
You are letting life happen to YOU instead of YOU happening on LIFE.
Is this you? Are you letting life happen to YOU?
I know that for much of my adult life I allowed life to happen to ME. This made me a victim. A victim of my own making.
Do you wake up on Monday mornings (or on this Holiday weekend, Tuesday morning) and feel like you were a victim of the weekend? Then STOP IT! Honestly, stop being a victim. Be a victor instead. Schedule your weekend. Schedule your meals. Do a little bit of planning and preparation so that you don't allow yourself to be tossed around like a boat with no sail on a choppy sea, with no direction.
Maintain. Your. Course.
Rinse and Repeat!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
To BE or not to BE.....
Free!
I am free to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, in whatever quantity I want. Thing is, I WANT only that which will allow me to attain and maintain a healthy weight.
I am free to find my true potential in every area of my life. The extra weight kept me a prisoner to the "hope" and the "desire" and the "longing" to "lose weight" and so I never had room for any other dreams in my mind. Getting healthy opened up ALL of my dream potential! I now dream of running the Paris Marathon. I now dream of getting my Masters and then my Ph.D in Nutrition with an emphasis on Obesity Science. I now dream of being a public speaker nationwide to tell people they don't have to be held captive by their fat suit any longer, they are FREE to choose the better life. And it IS a better life, in my estimation. Everything is easier and less stressful now that I'm not an overweight or obese individual. Do I still have problems and stress? Yes, but they aren't compounded by my inability to move around, to breathe fully, to sleep well, or to make a good first impression. So, yeah, better!
I am free to be the best ME I can be. And I can't put a dollar figure on that, so when people tell me "but the food is expensive" I don't even know what to say anymore. Being fat is expensive too. It will cost you EVERYTHING you have, it will take attention away from your family, it will make your vacations less fun because you can't go horseback riding. You can't go swimming in the ocean. You can't jet-ski. You can't paraglide. You can't hike, bike, or do the limbo. You aren't FREE to do ANY of those things, and I remember always being the one covered from head to toe with a cover-up and a hat, sitting under the umbrella with a good book (which was never so good) and a margarita while everyone else was playing volleyball or building sand castles.
And I will never be that person anymore. She wasn't me. I wasn't her. I never felt comfortable in my fat suit, it was as if I was screaming from inside "wait, this is wrong...this isn't me! I'm in here!"
It felt so foreign to have my chest resting on my steering wheel whenever I drove anyplace. I felt so invisible walking around airports or school campuses or shopping malls because no one, and I do mean NO ONE wanted to make eye contact with me or smile at me. Be careful, oooooh be careful not to step in any designer women's clothes stores because I'll catch the scornful look of the sales lady as she thinks "there's nothing in HERE for YOU".
Yes it is a cruel world for the obese individual. I remember well. Because I WAS a morbidly Class 4 SUPER obese individual for most of my adult life.
I remember getting married at a svelte 122 pounds. I had yo-yo'd with my weight for high school and college, getting a handle on it, then gaining a few, then getting a handle on it, then gaining a few.
Then I got married, and somehow proceeded to gain 10 pounds a year for 10 years.
Don't ask me why. I don't have an answer for you. I've never succumbed to the therapy chair to try to unravel the mysteries of why I did that to myself. I have never felt the need, I knew I wasn't an abused child in any way, just a shy one. I knew that I used food for comfort, entertainment, stress release, and to feel loved. Thing is, that food never truly gave any of that back to me. Do you know what it gave back to me? Heartache. Remorse. Shame. Sickness. Plantar Fasciitis. A sore back. Snoring. Sleeplessness. Guilt. Feelings of inadequacy. Obesity-related Depression. Doesn't sound like the things that a friend gives you, does it? Unless it is a co-dependent relationship.
When I decided to CHANGE that relationship I had with food is when the tide turned for me. Or rather, I TURNED THE TIDE for MYSELF. You see, hope is NOT a strategy. Hope is the underlying mechanism to cause us to develop a strategy, but we must take that step and then implement that strategy in order for our hope to be realized. But not just any strategy, the strategy that WORKS, the strategy that will yeild results.
"Hoping" you will lose weight while simultaneously acting in a manner in which you don't stay on plan makes as much sense as "hoping" you'll win the lottery but failing to buy your ticket. It is the WRONG strategy to realize the hope that you have, therefore your hope will NEVER materialize if you don't buy that ticket. Same thing with the Medifast 5&1 Plan. You can "hope" all day that you will "lose weight this week" but then head off to Auntie Ethel and Uncle Joe's BBQ where Ethel has made her world-famous award-winning blue-ribbon Lemon Meringue Pie, and you can spend all 3 hours you are there dancing circles around that pie, thinking about that pie, longing for a piece of that pie, then creating so much tension around that pie that you absolutely MUST have a SLIVER in order that your brain will cease TORMENTING you about that PIE!
I CAN control what I put in my mouth for 24 hours. And that's all I need to do. That is my part. To have a plan, and to execute that plan TODAY. Just today. I am FREE to take my health in whatever direction I want to. But to do NOTHING or to give this plan half of the attention it deserves, to take bites licks and tastes thereby rendering the plan powerless to effect a real change in my life is NOT a strategy which will ultimately lead to long-term success.
And the "I lost weight anyway!" sentiment? Great. I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you momentarily validated a strategy that will fail. No, I'm not really, but if you believe the lie you are telling yourself that you can continue to do a version of the plan and have long term success, I just need to pipe in and be a voice of reason for you to tell you "nope, won't happen". Because you are treating this as a diet still. And diets fail. You are sneaking things and hoping you will "get away with it" by "at least I'm no gaining weight" or "I still lost 1/4 pound this week so it must be OK". Good luck with that.
I want everyone to succeed! But you've been doing this "your way" all your life, and where has it ultimately gotten you? Are you ready to submit to THE plan and be FREE to choose optimal health?
Are you ready?
Rinse and Repeat!
I am free to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, in whatever quantity I want. Thing is, I WANT only that which will allow me to attain and maintain a healthy weight.
I am free to find my true potential in every area of my life. The extra weight kept me a prisoner to the "hope" and the "desire" and the "longing" to "lose weight" and so I never had room for any other dreams in my mind. Getting healthy opened up ALL of my dream potential! I now dream of running the Paris Marathon. I now dream of getting my Masters and then my Ph.D in Nutrition with an emphasis on Obesity Science. I now dream of being a public speaker nationwide to tell people they don't have to be held captive by their fat suit any longer, they are FREE to choose the better life. And it IS a better life, in my estimation. Everything is easier and less stressful now that I'm not an overweight or obese individual. Do I still have problems and stress? Yes, but they aren't compounded by my inability to move around, to breathe fully, to sleep well, or to make a good first impression. So, yeah, better!
I am free to be the best ME I can be. And I can't put a dollar figure on that, so when people tell me "but the food is expensive" I don't even know what to say anymore. Being fat is expensive too. It will cost you EVERYTHING you have, it will take attention away from your family, it will make your vacations less fun because you can't go horseback riding. You can't go swimming in the ocean. You can't jet-ski. You can't paraglide. You can't hike, bike, or do the limbo. You aren't FREE to do ANY of those things, and I remember always being the one covered from head to toe with a cover-up and a hat, sitting under the umbrella with a good book (which was never so good) and a margarita while everyone else was playing volleyball or building sand castles.
And I will never be that person anymore. She wasn't me. I wasn't her. I never felt comfortable in my fat suit, it was as if I was screaming from inside "wait, this is wrong...this isn't me! I'm in here!"
It felt so foreign to have my chest resting on my steering wheel whenever I drove anyplace. I felt so invisible walking around airports or school campuses or shopping malls because no one, and I do mean NO ONE wanted to make eye contact with me or smile at me. Be careful, oooooh be careful not to step in any designer women's clothes stores because I'll catch the scornful look of the sales lady as she thinks "there's nothing in HERE for YOU".
Yes it is a cruel world for the obese individual. I remember well. Because I WAS a morbidly Class 4 SUPER obese individual for most of my adult life.
I remember getting married at a svelte 122 pounds. I had yo-yo'd with my weight for high school and college, getting a handle on it, then gaining a few, then getting a handle on it, then gaining a few.
Then I got married, and somehow proceeded to gain 10 pounds a year for 10 years.
Don't ask me why. I don't have an answer for you. I've never succumbed to the therapy chair to try to unravel the mysteries of why I did that to myself. I have never felt the need, I knew I wasn't an abused child in any way, just a shy one. I knew that I used food for comfort, entertainment, stress release, and to feel loved. Thing is, that food never truly gave any of that back to me. Do you know what it gave back to me? Heartache. Remorse. Shame. Sickness. Plantar Fasciitis. A sore back. Snoring. Sleeplessness. Guilt. Feelings of inadequacy. Obesity-related Depression. Doesn't sound like the things that a friend gives you, does it? Unless it is a co-dependent relationship.
When I decided to CHANGE that relationship I had with food is when the tide turned for me. Or rather, I TURNED THE TIDE for MYSELF. You see, hope is NOT a strategy. Hope is the underlying mechanism to cause us to develop a strategy, but we must take that step and then implement that strategy in order for our hope to be realized. But not just any strategy, the strategy that WORKS, the strategy that will yeild results.
"Hoping" you will lose weight while simultaneously acting in a manner in which you don't stay on plan makes as much sense as "hoping" you'll win the lottery but failing to buy your ticket. It is the WRONG strategy to realize the hope that you have, therefore your hope will NEVER materialize if you don't buy that ticket. Same thing with the Medifast 5&1 Plan. You can "hope" all day that you will "lose weight this week" but then head off to Auntie Ethel and Uncle Joe's BBQ where Ethel has made her world-famous award-winning blue-ribbon Lemon Meringue Pie, and you can spend all 3 hours you are there dancing circles around that pie, thinking about that pie, longing for a piece of that pie, then creating so much tension around that pie that you absolutely MUST have a SLIVER in order that your brain will cease TORMENTING you about that PIE!
I CAN control what I put in my mouth for 24 hours. And that's all I need to do. That is my part. To have a plan, and to execute that plan TODAY. Just today. I am FREE to take my health in whatever direction I want to. But to do NOTHING or to give this plan half of the attention it deserves, to take bites licks and tastes thereby rendering the plan powerless to effect a real change in my life is NOT a strategy which will ultimately lead to long-term success.
And the "I lost weight anyway!" sentiment? Great. I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you momentarily validated a strategy that will fail. No, I'm not really, but if you believe the lie you are telling yourself that you can continue to do a version of the plan and have long term success, I just need to pipe in and be a voice of reason for you to tell you "nope, won't happen". Because you are treating this as a diet still. And diets fail. You are sneaking things and hoping you will "get away with it" by "at least I'm no gaining weight" or "I still lost 1/4 pound this week so it must be OK". Good luck with that.
I want everyone to succeed! But you've been doing this "your way" all your life, and where has it ultimately gotten you? Are you ready to submit to THE plan and be FREE to choose optimal health?
Are you ready?
Rinse and Repeat!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Why Do People Try to Justify Every Reason Why They Can't Get Healthy?
I've noticed a curious phenomenon as I've been on my journey to Optimal (and soon, eventually, Ultra) Health.
When I see people I haven't seen in a long while, they immediately (after the 'hey how are ya doing' formalities) begin to give me reasons why this or that or the other diet they just tried didn't work, or why they don't have time to exercise, or why they think they will just always be overweight, or why what I did utilizing Take Shape For Life just wouldn't work for them because such and so and the other thing and this and that.
It is like I am a priest and they are at confession. And I'm no priest! I have often been puzzled at this behavior, to either give me 10,000 reasons why they could never do what I did, or to tell me that the WAY I did it isn't sustainable and surely I'll gain the weight back, you know, because it was one of "those" diets.
I was reading a book called "From Ultra Fat to Ultra Fit" and the man who wrote it had some interesting observations about this very thing. He had lost over 100 pounds, and realized that some people want to justify their own inaction by minimizing yours. Others want to excuse their choice to not do anything about their own obesity by giving you the million ways they have tried in the past and why they failed. When someone is not willing to make a difficult change, the next best thing to do is to convince yourself and others that you tried your best to do so.
When someone is confronted by the presence of a person who has appeared to control or conquer a problem that they themselves have failed to deal with, they will likely employ one of these two methods. Minimizing the effort it took you to accomplish it, or justify their past failed attempts at losing weight.
"Oh I could never do that...." - OK then, never do it.
"Well it CAN'T be safe, not eating like that..." - Well I do eat, and 20,000 Physicians since 1980 disagree with you
"But don't you think starving yourself all the time is bad for you?" - I'm not starving myself, I'm utilizing a clinically proven, safe and effective method of portion controlled meal replacements, and let me tell you I'm pretty sure being massively overweight is a heck of a lot more dangerous than just about any type of diet.
I just want to say that I am happier now than I have ever been in my entire, obese life. I want this for everyone.
But not everyone wants it for themselves. The confusion that must come over my face when someone asks me how I did it, I BEGIN to tell them, only to be met by a diatribe about how they could never isn't safe can't afford tried in the past couldn't eat processed I'm afraid of loose skin I can't give up my fried chicken jumble of words that come out of their mouth as I'm trying to decipher if they actually WANT an honest answer to their question or they just WANT to feel better about themselves.
I'm a quick study, though, and I change the subject pretty quickly if I realize they don't REALLY want to know. LOL.
So meanwhile I journey on, on my journey to optimal health. I am not competing with anyone, the only person I want to be better than is the person I was yesterday.
If you tell me you can't do it, I'll agree with you. If you tell me you can do it, I'll agree with you too! The challenge is that when we are obese, we absolutely have blinders on to the state of our own health. Because if we truly saw what a ticking time bomb we are when our BMI is 40+ (mine was 47+), I'm telling you we would stop playing games with ourselves.
I am going to talk straight because I appreciated it when people talked straight to me in that state at that time (thank you Mom, Dad, and Hubby for the intervention even when you knew I'd get mad and feel hurt).
If you are obese. If your BMI is in the obese range of 30+, you have NOT arrived at health yet. If you believe that this coming holiday you may just indulge in a little something' something because you've "done so good these last few days/weeks" and you are still obese, I am begging you, BEGGING you to take a good, hard, honest look at your health and to continue on this path, continue on this journey, make the hard choices that you need to make because YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth every "no thank you" you need to say this next Monday, this next summer. Get healthy. Please. Your family needs you, they NEED you to step up and be the best version of yourself possible. And the best version of yourself wants to emerge, too. If you will just let it.
Stop playing games with your program, stop playing games with yourself. Don't beat yourself or feel bad that you've been on and off the path more times than you can count in the last few months, just get ON the path NOW. Make that decision. You can turn this all around in ONE HEARTBEAT. So what will it be? Are YOU rationalizing as you read this why you've failed to stay on plan for whatever reason and how this is so HAAAAARRRRDDDD? Are you thinking "Yes, but I'm not YOU." No, you aren't. You are YOU.
And if you WERE me, you would realize that you were of mediocre ability. But guess what? As George Allen said, "People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to."
Follow that with St. Francis of Assisi, "Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
True 'dat!
Rinse and Repeat!
When I see people I haven't seen in a long while, they immediately (after the 'hey how are ya doing' formalities) begin to give me reasons why this or that or the other diet they just tried didn't work, or why they don't have time to exercise, or why they think they will just always be overweight, or why what I did utilizing Take Shape For Life just wouldn't work for them because such and so and the other thing and this and that.
It is like I am a priest and they are at confession. And I'm no priest! I have often been puzzled at this behavior, to either give me 10,000 reasons why they could never do what I did, or to tell me that the WAY I did it isn't sustainable and surely I'll gain the weight back, you know, because it was one of "those" diets.
I was reading a book called "From Ultra Fat to Ultra Fit" and the man who wrote it had some interesting observations about this very thing. He had lost over 100 pounds, and realized that some people want to justify their own inaction by minimizing yours. Others want to excuse their choice to not do anything about their own obesity by giving you the million ways they have tried in the past and why they failed. When someone is not willing to make a difficult change, the next best thing to do is to convince yourself and others that you tried your best to do so.
When someone is confronted by the presence of a person who has appeared to control or conquer a problem that they themselves have failed to deal with, they will likely employ one of these two methods. Minimizing the effort it took you to accomplish it, or justify their past failed attempts at losing weight.
"Oh I could never do that...." - OK then, never do it.
"Well it CAN'T be safe, not eating like that..." - Well I do eat, and 20,000 Physicians since 1980 disagree with you
"But don't you think starving yourself all the time is bad for you?" - I'm not starving myself, I'm utilizing a clinically proven, safe and effective method of portion controlled meal replacements, and let me tell you I'm pretty sure being massively overweight is a heck of a lot more dangerous than just about any type of diet.
I just want to say that I am happier now than I have ever been in my entire, obese life. I want this for everyone.
But not everyone wants it for themselves. The confusion that must come over my face when someone asks me how I did it, I BEGIN to tell them, only to be met by a diatribe about how they could never isn't safe can't afford tried in the past couldn't eat processed I'm afraid of loose skin I can't give up my fried chicken jumble of words that come out of their mouth as I'm trying to decipher if they actually WANT an honest answer to their question or they just WANT to feel better about themselves.
I'm a quick study, though, and I change the subject pretty quickly if I realize they don't REALLY want to know. LOL.
So meanwhile I journey on, on my journey to optimal health. I am not competing with anyone, the only person I want to be better than is the person I was yesterday.
If you tell me you can't do it, I'll agree with you. If you tell me you can do it, I'll agree with you too! The challenge is that when we are obese, we absolutely have blinders on to the state of our own health. Because if we truly saw what a ticking time bomb we are when our BMI is 40+ (mine was 47+), I'm telling you we would stop playing games with ourselves.
I am going to talk straight because I appreciated it when people talked straight to me in that state at that time (thank you Mom, Dad, and Hubby for the intervention even when you knew I'd get mad and feel hurt).
If you are obese. If your BMI is in the obese range of 30+, you have NOT arrived at health yet. If you believe that this coming holiday you may just indulge in a little something' something because you've "done so good these last few days/weeks" and you are still obese, I am begging you, BEGGING you to take a good, hard, honest look at your health and to continue on this path, continue on this journey, make the hard choices that you need to make because YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth every "no thank you" you need to say this next Monday, this next summer. Get healthy. Please. Your family needs you, they NEED you to step up and be the best version of yourself possible. And the best version of yourself wants to emerge, too. If you will just let it.
Stop playing games with your program, stop playing games with yourself. Don't beat yourself or feel bad that you've been on and off the path more times than you can count in the last few months, just get ON the path NOW. Make that decision. You can turn this all around in ONE HEARTBEAT. So what will it be? Are YOU rationalizing as you read this why you've failed to stay on plan for whatever reason and how this is so HAAAAARRRRDDDD? Are you thinking "Yes, but I'm not YOU." No, you aren't. You are YOU.
And if you WERE me, you would realize that you were of mediocre ability. But guess what? As George Allen said, "People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to."
Follow that with St. Francis of Assisi, "Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
True 'dat!
Rinse and Repeat!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Are We Dealing With Our Addictions or Not?
People ask me "what can you possibly learn about eating right on a portion-controlled meal replacement plan?"
The biggest thing in me that has changed is that I used to make everything about food. I'd wake up in the morning and wonder, excitedly, "oooooh, what can I eat this morning that will be yummy?"
Then I'd get bored and think "ooooooh, what I can eat for entertainment that will be yummy?"
Then I'd get stressed and think "ooooooh, what can I eat for comfort that will be yummy?"
Then I'd get sad and think "oooooh, what can I eat to cheer me up that will be yummy?"
TSFL and working through the Habits of Health taught me (the SECOND time I lost the weight) that food is not supposed to be used to pacify my emotions. Food is not supposed to be used for entertainment, for comfort, for loneliness, to cheer me up, to calm me down, or any of that.
It was THAT improper place I had given food in MY life which led to me weighing over 270 pounds to begin with. And if I went through my entire program without UNLEARNING that, then I would have the same overall results as I had always had in the past, which is, gaining all of it back.
I decided that to BE different I had to DO differently. So I set about on a quest to detach emotionally from food. I grieved. Sure I did. I went through the 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and Depression until I finally hit Acceptance.
What did I accept? I accepted that my body was never going to process extra calories/carbs etc in ANY other way than to store them as fat. Again and again. And I could not change that fact, so I accepted that fact and began learning my individual limitations while practicing contentment.
I am at a place in my life where I have accepted my "boundaries". I actually rejoice somewhat in the simplicity of it all. And I also know when I am coming perilously close to jumping over my boundary fence and enjoying grass that isn't my own.....
I'll tell you what my warning signs are that I'm working myself OUT of acceptance and contentnment and BACK IN to holding food and flavor up as Idols.
When I'm more concerned with making something yummy nummy oh-so-good at the expense of the best possible nutrition/plan for me that day. When I start salivating over the possibilities for my Medifast brownie.....ooooohhh, I could put a few extra chocolate chips in there, and then spread cream cheese and splenda over the top.....oooooohhhh....that sounds so good.......
Once I start making decisions based on how GOOOOOD something is going to taste, once I start sacrificing simplicity for flavor I reawaken certain appetities and passions that I have purposefully allowed to lay dormant. Once I do that I begin to feel the familiar pull of what I call "fat-brain".
When I develop "fat-brain" I am in food-seeking mode. Every once in awhile I sense "fat-brain" coming on, let's say if I'm looking at food pictures on pinterest and then have a sudden urge to go to the store and get some ingredients to make something.....
If I act on that desire, that urge, I am feeding that urge. It will get stronger. I will go down that road. And I know where that road leads. Back to my fat pants. Back to my size 26 Women's Stretch "Just My Size" Jeans. And I prefer the size 2 White House Black Market jeans I just pulled on yesterday. Yes indeed, I do.
So what do I do? I keep it simple. I keep it clean. I don't go searching for cheesy-tomatoey-yummy lean and greens. I don't need them. Do you know why? Because I have chosen NOT to fill some emotional need for comfort food with food. I have chosen to break that addiction, to use food for fuel.
Does it make life boring? Heck no! I want to use entertainment for entertainment. I want to use actual human comfort for comfort. I want to use relaxation techniques for stress. I feel like my life and its possibilities have been expanded, not limited.
So what do YOU use for entertainment? For comfort? For relaxation? If it involves making a yummy nummy cream cheese laced choc chip enhanced brownie to fill that need, or getting a taste explosion of a cheesy-tomatoey lean and green TO FILL THAT NEED, then I recommend you re-examine how you are treating food. You may be losing (some) weight, but are you dealing with your addiction?
The biggest thing in me that has changed is that I used to make everything about food. I'd wake up in the morning and wonder, excitedly, "oooooh, what can I eat this morning that will be yummy?"
Then I'd get bored and think "ooooooh, what I can eat for entertainment that will be yummy?"
Then I'd get stressed and think "ooooooh, what can I eat for comfort that will be yummy?"
Then I'd get sad and think "oooooh, what can I eat to cheer me up that will be yummy?"
TSFL and working through the Habits of Health taught me (the SECOND time I lost the weight) that food is not supposed to be used to pacify my emotions. Food is not supposed to be used for entertainment, for comfort, for loneliness, to cheer me up, to calm me down, or any of that.
It was THAT improper place I had given food in MY life which led to me weighing over 270 pounds to begin with. And if I went through my entire program without UNLEARNING that, then I would have the same overall results as I had always had in the past, which is, gaining all of it back.
I decided that to BE different I had to DO differently. So I set about on a quest to detach emotionally from food. I grieved. Sure I did. I went through the 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and Depression until I finally hit Acceptance.
What did I accept? I accepted that my body was never going to process extra calories/carbs etc in ANY other way than to store them as fat. Again and again. And I could not change that fact, so I accepted that fact and began learning my individual limitations while practicing contentment.
I am at a place in my life where I have accepted my "boundaries". I actually rejoice somewhat in the simplicity of it all. And I also know when I am coming perilously close to jumping over my boundary fence and enjoying grass that isn't my own.....
I'll tell you what my warning signs are that I'm working myself OUT of acceptance and contentnment and BACK IN to holding food and flavor up as Idols.
When I'm more concerned with making something yummy nummy oh-so-good at the expense of the best possible nutrition/plan for me that day. When I start salivating over the possibilities for my Medifast brownie.....ooooohhh, I could put a few extra chocolate chips in there, and then spread cream cheese and splenda over the top.....oooooohhhh....that sounds so good.......
Once I start making decisions based on how GOOOOOD something is going to taste, once I start sacrificing simplicity for flavor I reawaken certain appetities and passions that I have purposefully allowed to lay dormant. Once I do that I begin to feel the familiar pull of what I call "fat-brain".
When I develop "fat-brain" I am in food-seeking mode. Every once in awhile I sense "fat-brain" coming on, let's say if I'm looking at food pictures on pinterest and then have a sudden urge to go to the store and get some ingredients to make something.....
If I act on that desire, that urge, I am feeding that urge. It will get stronger. I will go down that road. And I know where that road leads. Back to my fat pants. Back to my size 26 Women's Stretch "Just My Size" Jeans. And I prefer the size 2 White House Black Market jeans I just pulled on yesterday. Yes indeed, I do.
So what do I do? I keep it simple. I keep it clean. I don't go searching for cheesy-tomatoey-yummy lean and greens. I don't need them. Do you know why? Because I have chosen NOT to fill some emotional need for comfort food with food. I have chosen to break that addiction, to use food for fuel.
Does it make life boring? Heck no! I want to use entertainment for entertainment. I want to use actual human comfort for comfort. I want to use relaxation techniques for stress. I feel like my life and its possibilities have been expanded, not limited.
So what do YOU use for entertainment? For comfort? For relaxation? If it involves making a yummy nummy cream cheese laced choc chip enhanced brownie to fill that need, or getting a taste explosion of a cheesy-tomatoey lean and green TO FILL THAT NEED, then I recommend you re-examine how you are treating food. You may be losing (some) weight, but are you dealing with your addiction?
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