Today I was thinking about how we would never modify an experiment if we were a scientist, just because we "felt like it".
Can
you imagine running an experiment in a lab, and deciding to alter the
amounts or the ingredients or the methodology of your experiment? If
someone before you had gotten the results you are looking for, then why
on earth would you change anything about the instructions?
It is
the same with the program. We are always looking for ways to change up
things, aren't we? Why? What is that compulsion we have to NOT FOLLOW
THE DIRECTIONS?
Is it our inner teen-ager who doesn't like to be
told "what to do"? Do we throw our fist up in rebellion because we want
to do it "our way?"
How has our way been working out for us lately? Seriously? Has it been working?
So
why not refresh yourself with the Quick Start Guide, and do ONLY what
is IN it, as well as the Condiment/Healthy Fat Publication? That's what
I would do to get results. Unless results aren't really what you are
after.
Rinse and Repeat!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
"I was so BAD on my diet" Mythbuster
We hear it all the time, don't we? We tell it to ourselves. We see others telling it to themselves. Does this sound familiar?
"I was SO GOOD on my DIET yesterday! I didn't CHEAT one BIT!"
or
"I was SO BAD on my Diet yesterday! I CHEATED with a few extra almonds."
The first one implies success and "good". The second one implies failure and "bad".
What if there was another way to look at this, a way which did not tie a moral absolute to your food choices?
Because really? Eating ON plan does NOT make you a GOOD person, no more than eating OFF plan makes you a BAD person.
I think if we could absolutely identify this and make a paradigm shift in our thinking, it would mean WORLDS of progress to our goal of attaining and maintaining optimal health!
Let me share what I have learned through the years, most of it from Dr. A, and validated in my own life through my personal experience.
For me, part of my hang-up, part of my journey (the part that saw me lose 140 pounds over 14 months and then gain it back over the next 12 months), was staying in a "diet mentality".
This mentality was highlighted by the goal of "to lose weight", and used self-shame to keep me "on track". Eating something deemed "off plan" was BAAAAAD and would bring feelings of frustration and shame, an overriding sense of failure to my day. A "good" day was staying ON PLAN 100% and having a sense of "I'm a SUCCESS!" at the end of those days. The goal?
"To Lose Weight".
The second time I did the plan, I actually read Dr. A's Book and began to implement the Habits of Health listed therein. And I had a watershed moment.
My watershed moment was realizing that my choices to eat "on plan" or "off plan" had nothing to do with being good or being bad. It was so freeing! I almost didn't know what to do with that information!
I realized that if I stretched out a timeline and put "Optimal Health on one end of the timeline, (attained by practicing daily, Habits of Health) and I put "Where you came from" on the other end of the timeline, (attained by practicing daily, Habits of Disease), that I could look at each choice in light of where it would take me on that timeline, and NOT as a moral decision of good or bad.
Ergo, eating ON PLAN was a choice I could make to MOVE TOWARDS OPTIMAL HEALTH, and eating OFF PLAN was a choice I could make to MOVE TOWARDS WHERE I CAME FROM.
Since I never want to go back to where I came from, I consistently make choices that will move me towards optimal health. Simple as that.
And the choices I make that don't take me closer to that goal? The choices that I make which don't support my primary goal of optimal health are few and far between now because I examine every eating or drinking decision in light of where it will take me on that time line. And it is NOTHING about being "good" or being "bad".
You know what else I found? I am a perpetual teen-ager at heart. Sometimes I just LIKE being BAAAAD! A little bit of rebellion exists in the heart of this individual, and that was evidenced in the past by "acting out" with my food choices. "Because if eating a snickers is wrong, baby I don't WANT to be right". Seems as though with all the structure and responsibilities of being an adult, a wife to an amazing man, and a mother to an amazing 8 year old boy with medical special needs, well that takes structure, organization, discipline, and responsibility and sometimes I just wanted to be a little bit irresponsible and, well BAD!
My brain would be a bonanza for someone with a psychology degree but I literally diffused the "acting out with food" by taking away all the moral associations with those choices. Literally. It was almost an overnight decision. And I felt the difference immediately.
How did I do it? How did I just all of a sudden diffuse the moral associations?
Intentionally. I DECIDED that if I chose to eat off plan, that I would NOT view myself as a BAD person. That is was NOT a moral decision, and I just told myself BEFORE eating the off-plan item "Eating this makes me neither BAD nor a failure. Eating this is a choice I make, which will either take me towards my primary goal of optimal health or farther from it. Which is it, Sista?"
And you know what? Taking that brief moment to STOP and CHALLENGE my behavior in a non-moral way, in a non-failure way, put it into perspective for me. I would REALIZE that what was about to eat would NOT in fact take me closer to my goals (the goals that I said I wanted, BTW, the goals that I chose, not any goal that was foisted upon me....), and 19 times out of 20 I would put the item down and continue my day ON PLAN.
When my goal became "to attain and maintain a healthy weight" is when I feel I made great strides at breaking free from the diet mentality (which is an oscillating pattern of lose-gain-repent-repeat) and making this a lifestyle change. And if you rolled your eyes at "lifestyle change" like I used to do, then I recommend you get a copy of Dr. A's Habits of Health and begin to thoughtfully read it (with a journal and pen nearby) because I had NO idea what a "lifestyle change" was until I saw it laid out so beautifully and understandably as in that book.
I thought "yeah, I've made a lifestyle change, dieting IS my lifestyle LOL" and I'll tell you right now, that previous diet mentality was all about deprivation and victim-mentality bondage to some system.
A lifestyle change, on the other hand, is all about HOPE, FREEDOM to live the life I WANT to live, and choosing Habits of Health because it is a JOY to do so.
A diet mentality is all about what I CAN'T have.
A lifestyle change is all about what I am choosing to create with this process. All the good things I am bringing in to my life as a result of my decision to get healthy.
And that's a wrap!
"I was SO GOOD on my DIET yesterday! I didn't CHEAT one BIT!"
or
"I was SO BAD on my Diet yesterday! I CHEATED with a few extra almonds."
The first one implies success and "good". The second one implies failure and "bad".
What if there was another way to look at this, a way which did not tie a moral absolute to your food choices?
Because really? Eating ON plan does NOT make you a GOOD person, no more than eating OFF plan makes you a BAD person.
I think if we could absolutely identify this and make a paradigm shift in our thinking, it would mean WORLDS of progress to our goal of attaining and maintaining optimal health!
Let me share what I have learned through the years, most of it from Dr. A, and validated in my own life through my personal experience.
For me, part of my hang-up, part of my journey (the part that saw me lose 140 pounds over 14 months and then gain it back over the next 12 months), was staying in a "diet mentality".
This mentality was highlighted by the goal of "to lose weight", and used self-shame to keep me "on track". Eating something deemed "off plan" was BAAAAAD and would bring feelings of frustration and shame, an overriding sense of failure to my day. A "good" day was staying ON PLAN 100% and having a sense of "I'm a SUCCESS!" at the end of those days. The goal?
"To Lose Weight".
The second time I did the plan, I actually read Dr. A's Book and began to implement the Habits of Health listed therein. And I had a watershed moment.
My watershed moment was realizing that my choices to eat "on plan" or "off plan" had nothing to do with being good or being bad. It was so freeing! I almost didn't know what to do with that information!
I realized that if I stretched out a timeline and put "Optimal Health on one end of the timeline, (attained by practicing daily, Habits of Health) and I put "Where you came from" on the other end of the timeline, (attained by practicing daily, Habits of Disease), that I could look at each choice in light of where it would take me on that timeline, and NOT as a moral decision of good or bad.
Ergo, eating ON PLAN was a choice I could make to MOVE TOWARDS OPTIMAL HEALTH, and eating OFF PLAN was a choice I could make to MOVE TOWARDS WHERE I CAME FROM.
Since I never want to go back to where I came from, I consistently make choices that will move me towards optimal health. Simple as that.
And the choices I make that don't take me closer to that goal? The choices that I make which don't support my primary goal of optimal health are few and far between now because I examine every eating or drinking decision in light of where it will take me on that time line. And it is NOTHING about being "good" or being "bad".
You know what else I found? I am a perpetual teen-ager at heart. Sometimes I just LIKE being BAAAAD! A little bit of rebellion exists in the heart of this individual, and that was evidenced in the past by "acting out" with my food choices. "Because if eating a snickers is wrong, baby I don't WANT to be right". Seems as though with all the structure and responsibilities of being an adult, a wife to an amazing man, and a mother to an amazing 8 year old boy with medical special needs, well that takes structure, organization, discipline, and responsibility and sometimes I just wanted to be a little bit irresponsible and, well BAD!
My brain would be a bonanza for someone with a psychology degree but I literally diffused the "acting out with food" by taking away all the moral associations with those choices. Literally. It was almost an overnight decision. And I felt the difference immediately.
How did I do it? How did I just all of a sudden diffuse the moral associations?
Intentionally. I DECIDED that if I chose to eat off plan, that I would NOT view myself as a BAD person. That is was NOT a moral decision, and I just told myself BEFORE eating the off-plan item "Eating this makes me neither BAD nor a failure. Eating this is a choice I make, which will either take me towards my primary goal of optimal health or farther from it. Which is it, Sista?"
And you know what? Taking that brief moment to STOP and CHALLENGE my behavior in a non-moral way, in a non-failure way, put it into perspective for me. I would REALIZE that what was about to eat would NOT in fact take me closer to my goals (the goals that I said I wanted, BTW, the goals that I chose, not any goal that was foisted upon me....), and 19 times out of 20 I would put the item down and continue my day ON PLAN.
When my goal became "to attain and maintain a healthy weight" is when I feel I made great strides at breaking free from the diet mentality (which is an oscillating pattern of lose-gain-repent-repeat) and making this a lifestyle change. And if you rolled your eyes at "lifestyle change" like I used to do, then I recommend you get a copy of Dr. A's Habits of Health and begin to thoughtfully read it (with a journal and pen nearby) because I had NO idea what a "lifestyle change" was until I saw it laid out so beautifully and understandably as in that book.
I thought "yeah, I've made a lifestyle change, dieting IS my lifestyle LOL" and I'll tell you right now, that previous diet mentality was all about deprivation and victim-mentality bondage to some system.
A lifestyle change, on the other hand, is all about HOPE, FREEDOM to live the life I WANT to live, and choosing Habits of Health because it is a JOY to do so.
A diet mentality is all about what I CAN'T have.
A lifestyle change is all about what I am choosing to create with this process. All the good things I am bringing in to my life as a result of my decision to get healthy.
And that's a wrap!
I have become THAT GIRL!
My alarm went off at 4:30 (Pacific)
this morning, and I promptly arose, turned the coffee-maker on, and put
my work-out gear into the dryer.
It is now 4:50, and I had my breakfast of "peanut-butter-pancake" (last night I combined 3 chocolate chip pancakes with 1 soft-serve peanut butter, 1/2 tsp baking powder and baked it like a cake making 4 servings of Medifast Meals), I had my perfect cup of coffee, and am just waiting a few more minutes for my clothes to dry so I can leave by 5:00 or so to get to my mountain for a trail run before it gets too hot (Arizona in June can be pretty unforgiving after 8:00 am)
Yes. I have become "that girl". That girl who is willing to get up before the sun in order to accomplish her exercise goals for the day. Did I ever think I would become "that girl"?
Yes. You see, when I began this program at 272 pounds, a BMI of over 47, and walking with a cane, I wanted to be her. I wasn't her YET, but I had a vision of her, crystal clear in my mind. So I did what I needed to do in order to become a healthier weight so that I COULD begin to BECOME her.
When I hit the "just obese" category of 39.9 I began walking a couple of times per week. Nothing extreme, just walking. Once I hit "overweight" of 29.9 I began lightly jogging. Again, nothing extreme, just jogging a few times per week, starting out very slow.
I remember one time when I was very close to a "normal weight" BMI deciding, last year, to do a sprint-distance triathlon in San Francisco. My first ever. It involved swimming in the San Francisco Bay for 1/2 mile, then biking 13 miles, then running a 10K. In order to participate in the triathlon, I had to wake up at 3:30 in the morning and, in the pitch black of the San Francisco early morning, bicycle ACROSS town (1 hour ride) to the starting point with all of my gear. When that alarm went off it was EVERYTHING I could do to get myself out of bed.
What kind of crazy person gets up at 3:30 to accomplish her exercise goals? I was NOT that girl yet, but I pretended that I was and I DID it.
This is called "identity-based behavior change" and I believe that it WORKS. It basically says what the great philosopher Epictetus said "First say it is what you would be, then do what you have to do."
It means deciding who you want to be. Then asking yourself "well, what would THAT person do in this situation?" and doing THAT.
A triathlete gets up at 3:30 to cycle across town for an hour to get to her race. So I did that.
Within the last 6 weeks I have begun to work with a personal trainer. I remember our first session was at 5:00 am at a gym across town, so I had to get up at 3:45. I had flashbacks of the triathlon. At first my thought was "Who does that??!!!???!! Who gets up BEFORE 4:00 am to go exercise?.....oh yes, I did that already once....ok, I guess I do that."
And I did it. Because I decided that is who I am.
And guess what? Because I keep doing the things that fit and healthy people do, I become more fit and healthy every day.
Ever go into a restaurant and see a fit and healthy person pigging out on ribs, beer, a bloomin' onion and cheesecake for dessert? Honestly I have not. Fit and healthy people are always making choices that fall in line with them being fit and healthy people. Choices that make sense for fit and healthy people to make. In other words, fit and healthy people most always act like fit and healthy people.
When it became the norm for me to be up before 5:00 am to accomplish my goals, I knew I had passed some sort of crossroads from just "doing what fit and healthy people do" to "being a fit and healthy person doing what fit and healthy people do".
I don't know if this makes ANY sense, but the way it can be applied in your life if you are just beginning your journey to health is this:
Decide who it is you want to be. Is that a fit and healthy person, or is that a person who will always struggle with her weight, never reach her goals and be a martyr trying?
Because the difference between those two journeys is extreme. The first one is a joyful journey. It is a journey of creating health in your own life. The second journey is someone who really is not engaged in their own process, their own decision, still pines for the ribs, the bloomin' onion and the cheesecake, and who will likely never reach his/her goals or if they do it will be very brief because everyone has to come up for oxygen sometime.
Change your oxygen. Become the person you always knew you could be. It will change your entire world. Make a list of the things the person you WANT to become thinks and does. Then begin thinking and doing those things. At some point, you BECOME that person, instead of just ACTING like you are that person. You are changing WHO YOU ARE based on WHO YOU WANT TO BECOME. One small incremental sustainable daily improvement at a time.
Rinse and Repeat!
It is now 4:50, and I had my breakfast of "peanut-butter-pancake" (last night I combined 3 chocolate chip pancakes with 1 soft-serve peanut butter, 1/2 tsp baking powder and baked it like a cake making 4 servings of Medifast Meals), I had my perfect cup of coffee, and am just waiting a few more minutes for my clothes to dry so I can leave by 5:00 or so to get to my mountain for a trail run before it gets too hot (Arizona in June can be pretty unforgiving after 8:00 am)
Yes. I have become "that girl". That girl who is willing to get up before the sun in order to accomplish her exercise goals for the day. Did I ever think I would become "that girl"?
Yes. You see, when I began this program at 272 pounds, a BMI of over 47, and walking with a cane, I wanted to be her. I wasn't her YET, but I had a vision of her, crystal clear in my mind. So I did what I needed to do in order to become a healthier weight so that I COULD begin to BECOME her.
When I hit the "just obese" category of 39.9 I began walking a couple of times per week. Nothing extreme, just walking. Once I hit "overweight" of 29.9 I began lightly jogging. Again, nothing extreme, just jogging a few times per week, starting out very slow.
I remember one time when I was very close to a "normal weight" BMI deciding, last year, to do a sprint-distance triathlon in San Francisco. My first ever. It involved swimming in the San Francisco Bay for 1/2 mile, then biking 13 miles, then running a 10K. In order to participate in the triathlon, I had to wake up at 3:30 in the morning and, in the pitch black of the San Francisco early morning, bicycle ACROSS town (1 hour ride) to the starting point with all of my gear. When that alarm went off it was EVERYTHING I could do to get myself out of bed.
What kind of crazy person gets up at 3:30 to accomplish her exercise goals? I was NOT that girl yet, but I pretended that I was and I DID it.
This is called "identity-based behavior change" and I believe that it WORKS. It basically says what the great philosopher Epictetus said "First say it is what you would be, then do what you have to do."
It means deciding who you want to be. Then asking yourself "well, what would THAT person do in this situation?" and doing THAT.
A triathlete gets up at 3:30 to cycle across town for an hour to get to her race. So I did that.
Within the last 6 weeks I have begun to work with a personal trainer. I remember our first session was at 5:00 am at a gym across town, so I had to get up at 3:45. I had flashbacks of the triathlon. At first my thought was "Who does that??!!!???!! Who gets up BEFORE 4:00 am to go exercise?.....oh yes, I did that already once....ok, I guess I do that."
And I did it. Because I decided that is who I am.
And guess what? Because I keep doing the things that fit and healthy people do, I become more fit and healthy every day.
Ever go into a restaurant and see a fit and healthy person pigging out on ribs, beer, a bloomin' onion and cheesecake for dessert? Honestly I have not. Fit and healthy people are always making choices that fall in line with them being fit and healthy people. Choices that make sense for fit and healthy people to make. In other words, fit and healthy people most always act like fit and healthy people.
When it became the norm for me to be up before 5:00 am to accomplish my goals, I knew I had passed some sort of crossroads from just "doing what fit and healthy people do" to "being a fit and healthy person doing what fit and healthy people do".
I don't know if this makes ANY sense, but the way it can be applied in your life if you are just beginning your journey to health is this:
Decide who it is you want to be. Is that a fit and healthy person, or is that a person who will always struggle with her weight, never reach her goals and be a martyr trying?
Because the difference between those two journeys is extreme. The first one is a joyful journey. It is a journey of creating health in your own life. The second journey is someone who really is not engaged in their own process, their own decision, still pines for the ribs, the bloomin' onion and the cheesecake, and who will likely never reach his/her goals or if they do it will be very brief because everyone has to come up for oxygen sometime.
Change your oxygen. Become the person you always knew you could be. It will change your entire world. Make a list of the things the person you WANT to become thinks and does. Then begin thinking and doing those things. At some point, you BECOME that person, instead of just ACTING like you are that person. You are changing WHO YOU ARE based on WHO YOU WANT TO BECOME. One small incremental sustainable daily improvement at a time.
Rinse and Repeat!
Do We Truly Understand the Power of This Tool?
I am always amazed when I see
someone who as absolutely transformed their life by transforming their
health. The tool of TSFL is SO powerful, the effect it can have on a
life if it is used as directed.
In my community of peeps it isn't uncommon at all to see these successes documented every single day. The excitement of another successful empowering week. The non-scale victories that are reported every single day. It truly is contagious. And the things all of these success stories have in common, as I have observed them, are quite simple.
I am about to divulge the secret of success. Are you listening? Are you ready to receive it? There are four of them.
OK.
1) Follow the directions
2) Do the work
3) Never give up
4) Keep focusing on optimal health
If you have it "in you" to do these four things, you can have the kind of success that will utterly transform your entire life. And guess what? There is no expiration date on reaching your goal because the goal IS optimal health, and we never "stop" reaching out for it.
A number on a scale is not a goal. Well, it was for me the first time I did Medifast. But that time I did not seek to develop a fit and healthy mind along with my healthy BMI. I was just seeking a number on a scale, and when I "arrived" that meant I was "done" and I could "relax" and "have whatever I wanted". So it was fleeting, it didn't last.
The power that seeking optimal health has had on MY life amazes me. I feel free, I feel transformed, and catch this because it is a BIG ONE:
I am NOT WORRIED about GAINING MY WEIGHT BACK because I FEEL IT IN MY GUT and KNOW WITH ALL MY HEART that I will NOT EVER allow myself to slip back EVER into the "diet" mentality.
You see, the "diet" mentality almost REQUIRES me to gain it back because if I measure my success by "losing weight" all of the time, then the ONLY way I can CONTINUE to feel successful is to always be LOSING WEIGHT.
If I am addicted to that DROP on the scale to measure my self worth, then I will always create a situation whereby I NEED to drop weight so that I can necessarily feel good about myself again. In order to do that, I HAVE to always gain weight so I can LOSE it again.
When I realized that I had been exhibiting that kind of behavior since I was in elementary school on my first formal "program" ever, it shocked me. I had the biggest "A-HA" moment I have ever had. Realizing that I was a scale junkie and that I allowed that beast of a thing to dictate to me my value for the day/week/month/year was like waking up out of a fog and realizing that there is SO much more to life than the scale. I also realized that I was addicted.....TO LOSING WEIGHT. I was entrapped.....BY MY SCALE. It had never, up until I began my TSFL journey in July of 2010, been about HEALTH. Let alone OPTIMAL HEALTH.
It had been about that blasted scale and whether I was losing or gaining, because I was always caught in that oscillating cycle of lose-gain-repent-repeat.
What changed? Me. How? Because I made a decision to change.
"But Stacy, you make it sound so easy! You make it sound like anyone can do it, that it just takes a decision, and how can that possibly by because if it were that easy then everyone could do it."
Exactly. Everyone can do it. I will never waver from being absolutely convinced that everyone can do it. But not everyone does.
CAN everyone brush their teeth? Yes. DOES everyone brush their teeth? Perhaps not. CAN everyone pursue happiness in their lives? Yes. DOES everyone pursue happiness in their lives? No. CAN everyone strive for Optimal Health? Yes. DOES everyone strive for Optimal Health? No. One lap around Costco on Sample-Sundays will dispel any notion that EVERYONE strives for optimal health.
And I was once one of those super-obese individuals lining up for the cheesecake samples. I had given up that I had it in me to strive for health. I was not in a scooter on oxygen yet, but at 40 years old my knees were to the point where I walked occasionally with a cane. I still have the cane. I kept it. I woke up every day wondering how in the world this fat suit came to dwell on my body. I felt completely detached from my body, like I was observing this massive lumbering entity straining to get in and out of her car, like an out-of-body experience. My son called my "Sully" after the big blue monster on Monsters Inc. Yes. Did I have a reason to be depressed? Yes, but it was a reason of my own making. I did that to myself. Me. And when I took FULL responsibility for the poor health choices I had made up until that point, when I at the same time FORGAVE myself for doing that to myself, when I realized that I was a VALUABLE person no matter what my size, coupled with the HOPE that I truly had a tool to be able to accomplish what had eluded me for SO LONG......
Health.
When I was ready to decide, the decision took about as much time as a heart beat.
The decision to wake up every day and strive for optimal health.
The decision to keep a short record of my failings, to forgive myself often, to love myself and to value myself as worthy of the effort.
The decision to stop, challenge, and choose on a daily and hourly basis only those things that would take me closer to my goal of optimal health.
Was I perfect? No. Is anyone? Perhaps, but I was not. What I WAS was DETERMINED and PERSISTENT. I was a bull-dog. If I stumbled I would pick myself right back up move along toward health again.
Pity? Self loathing? Martyr mentality? Nope. Nope. Nope.
Entitlement? Perfection Mentality? All-or-nothing mindset? Killing myself at the gym? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
What, then?
Accountability. Support. Incorporating Dr. A's Habits of Health into my life incrementally, sustainably, daily. Making the decision to be a master of my body, not the other way around. Self-Mastery. This is a concept which was foreign to me until I learned it. That I was actually able to be a master of my body, and not always live as a slave to it.
This has been a long blog. Kudos to you if you are still here. It really is just me typing out my thoughts as I go. Sort of as a record for myself. Thanks for listening.
Rinse and Repeat!
In my community of peeps it isn't uncommon at all to see these successes documented every single day. The excitement of another successful empowering week. The non-scale victories that are reported every single day. It truly is contagious. And the things all of these success stories have in common, as I have observed them, are quite simple.
I am about to divulge the secret of success. Are you listening? Are you ready to receive it? There are four of them.
OK.
1) Follow the directions
2) Do the work
3) Never give up
4) Keep focusing on optimal health
If you have it "in you" to do these four things, you can have the kind of success that will utterly transform your entire life. And guess what? There is no expiration date on reaching your goal because the goal IS optimal health, and we never "stop" reaching out for it.
A number on a scale is not a goal. Well, it was for me the first time I did Medifast. But that time I did not seek to develop a fit and healthy mind along with my healthy BMI. I was just seeking a number on a scale, and when I "arrived" that meant I was "done" and I could "relax" and "have whatever I wanted". So it was fleeting, it didn't last.
The power that seeking optimal health has had on MY life amazes me. I feel free, I feel transformed, and catch this because it is a BIG ONE:
I am NOT WORRIED about GAINING MY WEIGHT BACK because I FEEL IT IN MY GUT and KNOW WITH ALL MY HEART that I will NOT EVER allow myself to slip back EVER into the "diet" mentality.
You see, the "diet" mentality almost REQUIRES me to gain it back because if I measure my success by "losing weight" all of the time, then the ONLY way I can CONTINUE to feel successful is to always be LOSING WEIGHT.
If I am addicted to that DROP on the scale to measure my self worth, then I will always create a situation whereby I NEED to drop weight so that I can necessarily feel good about myself again. In order to do that, I HAVE to always gain weight so I can LOSE it again.
When I realized that I had been exhibiting that kind of behavior since I was in elementary school on my first formal "program" ever, it shocked me. I had the biggest "A-HA" moment I have ever had. Realizing that I was a scale junkie and that I allowed that beast of a thing to dictate to me my value for the day/week/month/year was like waking up out of a fog and realizing that there is SO much more to life than the scale. I also realized that I was addicted.....TO LOSING WEIGHT. I was entrapped.....BY MY SCALE. It had never, up until I began my TSFL journey in July of 2010, been about HEALTH. Let alone OPTIMAL HEALTH.
It had been about that blasted scale and whether I was losing or gaining, because I was always caught in that oscillating cycle of lose-gain-repent-repeat.
What changed? Me. How? Because I made a decision to change.
"But Stacy, you make it sound so easy! You make it sound like anyone can do it, that it just takes a decision, and how can that possibly by because if it were that easy then everyone could do it."
Exactly. Everyone can do it. I will never waver from being absolutely convinced that everyone can do it. But not everyone does.
CAN everyone brush their teeth? Yes. DOES everyone brush their teeth? Perhaps not. CAN everyone pursue happiness in their lives? Yes. DOES everyone pursue happiness in their lives? No. CAN everyone strive for Optimal Health? Yes. DOES everyone strive for Optimal Health? No. One lap around Costco on Sample-Sundays will dispel any notion that EVERYONE strives for optimal health.
And I was once one of those super-obese individuals lining up for the cheesecake samples. I had given up that I had it in me to strive for health. I was not in a scooter on oxygen yet, but at 40 years old my knees were to the point where I walked occasionally with a cane. I still have the cane. I kept it. I woke up every day wondering how in the world this fat suit came to dwell on my body. I felt completely detached from my body, like I was observing this massive lumbering entity straining to get in and out of her car, like an out-of-body experience. My son called my "Sully" after the big blue monster on Monsters Inc. Yes. Did I have a reason to be depressed? Yes, but it was a reason of my own making. I did that to myself. Me. And when I took FULL responsibility for the poor health choices I had made up until that point, when I at the same time FORGAVE myself for doing that to myself, when I realized that I was a VALUABLE person no matter what my size, coupled with the HOPE that I truly had a tool to be able to accomplish what had eluded me for SO LONG......
Health.
When I was ready to decide, the decision took about as much time as a heart beat.
The decision to wake up every day and strive for optimal health.
The decision to keep a short record of my failings, to forgive myself often, to love myself and to value myself as worthy of the effort.
The decision to stop, challenge, and choose on a daily and hourly basis only those things that would take me closer to my goal of optimal health.
Was I perfect? No. Is anyone? Perhaps, but I was not. What I WAS was DETERMINED and PERSISTENT. I was a bull-dog. If I stumbled I would pick myself right back up move along toward health again.
Pity? Self loathing? Martyr mentality? Nope. Nope. Nope.
Entitlement? Perfection Mentality? All-or-nothing mindset? Killing myself at the gym? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
What, then?
Accountability. Support. Incorporating Dr. A's Habits of Health into my life incrementally, sustainably, daily. Making the decision to be a master of my body, not the other way around. Self-Mastery. This is a concept which was foreign to me until I learned it. That I was actually able to be a master of my body, and not always live as a slave to it.
This has been a long blog. Kudos to you if you are still here. It really is just me typing out my thoughts as I go. Sort of as a record for myself. Thanks for listening.
Rinse and Repeat!
What I remember....
Legs rubbing together, always rubbing.
Arms rubbing against my sides, always rubbing whether I was walking or not.
The "wedge" feeling when I plopped myself into a movie theater chair, then not knowing where to put my arms so I would fold them in front of me, when I could.
The "wedge and panic" feeling when I plopped myself into an airline seat, then the digging around for the seatbelt and praying - to no success - that I wouldn't need to ask for an extender.
The SHEER panic when I had a MIDDLE seat on an airplane and was flying alone. Knowing that I would overflow my space.
My chest resting on the steering wheel of my car when I drove, because my short legs couldn't reach the pedals if I had the seat back far enough where my chest WOULDN'T rest on the steering wheel.
People scrutinizing the contents of my shopping cart at Costco or Safeway, Whole Foods or Sprouts.
Salespeople who avoided eye contact.
Clothing salespeople who avoided ALL contact, then asked me if I wanted a gift receipt with that.
Walking from my house to the car, and being out of breath.
Not being able to get up off the floor without the help of a piece of furniture, or else getting onto my hands and knees first, THEN using a piece of furniture.
My 4 year old son calling me "Sully" (think big blue monster from Monsters Inc)
Wearing my size 26 jeans.....again.
Avoiding all social situations because someone there might know me.
Avoiding all social situations because I'll be the biggest one there.
Avoiding all social situations period.
Wearing torn and ragged sweatpants because my size 26 jeans didn't really fit anymore
Wearing XXXXL Men's T-shirts.
Wearing "comfortable" shoes which were not very comfortable either
Plantar Fasciitis in both feet
Walking with a cane
Not being able to fit through the turnstiles at Disneyworld, they had to let me through the stroller gate - without a stroller.
Not being able to fit on the rides at Disneyworld or Disneyland.
Not being able to go on a Hot Air Balloon ride or a Helicopter Tour
Not being able to go on the Carousel at Sea Port Village in San Diego, or Pier 39 in San Francisco due to the 250 pound weight limit.
Having zero energy.
Having zero confidence.
Having zero self-esteem
On the verge of tears all of the time
Feeling like I was stuck in a fat suit of my own making, but it was my prison.
Feeling lonely lonely lonely.
Being disgusted with myself when I'd falter on yet another "diet".
Chest pains.
That was then.
This is now.
I routinely wake up at 4:30 in order to get my exercise in for the day.
I can run 2 miles up a mountain without stopping!
I can compete in a sprint-distance triathlon and feel like I BELONG!
I take my shopping cart full of protein and veggies proudly through Costco, Sprouts, Whole Foods, and Safeway, daring anyone to scrutinize.
My son wants to marry me, because I'm his Princess!
I feel free free free!
I am free to be ME, and free to help OTHERS
I can "curl up" in an airplane seat now, and tuck my legs underneath me if I want, with plenty of room on the seat belt!
I have lots of room in the theater seats!
I can fit my entire lower body up to my waist in ONE LEG of my size 26 jeans.
I am wearing stylish clothes, size 2 jeans, size 4 dresses, and can wear knee high leather boots, which I HAVE now!
I fit into small ladies petite tops.
I am living the life I ALWAYS knew was within me to live, if only I could master the one thing that had eluded me thus far, which was how to control my body instead of letting my body control me. I have made great strides in that area.
Self Discipline. Healthy Habits. These things may not be easy to master, but they ARE simple. Action, not reaction. Healthy choices TODAY which will further my primary goals.
So, who's with me?
Arms rubbing against my sides, always rubbing whether I was walking or not.
The "wedge" feeling when I plopped myself into a movie theater chair, then not knowing where to put my arms so I would fold them in front of me, when I could.
The "wedge and panic" feeling when I plopped myself into an airline seat, then the digging around for the seatbelt and praying - to no success - that I wouldn't need to ask for an extender.
The SHEER panic when I had a MIDDLE seat on an airplane and was flying alone. Knowing that I would overflow my space.
My chest resting on the steering wheel of my car when I drove, because my short legs couldn't reach the pedals if I had the seat back far enough where my chest WOULDN'T rest on the steering wheel.
People scrutinizing the contents of my shopping cart at Costco or Safeway, Whole Foods or Sprouts.
Salespeople who avoided eye contact.
Clothing salespeople who avoided ALL contact, then asked me if I wanted a gift receipt with that.
Walking from my house to the car, and being out of breath.
Not being able to get up off the floor without the help of a piece of furniture, or else getting onto my hands and knees first, THEN using a piece of furniture.
My 4 year old son calling me "Sully" (think big blue monster from Monsters Inc)
Wearing my size 26 jeans.....again.
Avoiding all social situations because someone there might know me.
Avoiding all social situations because I'll be the biggest one there.
Avoiding all social situations period.
Wearing torn and ragged sweatpants because my size 26 jeans didn't really fit anymore
Wearing XXXXL Men's T-shirts.
Wearing "comfortable" shoes which were not very comfortable either
Plantar Fasciitis in both feet
Walking with a cane
Not being able to fit through the turnstiles at Disneyworld, they had to let me through the stroller gate - without a stroller.
Not being able to fit on the rides at Disneyworld or Disneyland.
Not being able to go on a Hot Air Balloon ride or a Helicopter Tour
Not being able to go on the Carousel at Sea Port Village in San Diego, or Pier 39 in San Francisco due to the 250 pound weight limit.
Having zero energy.
Having zero confidence.
Having zero self-esteem
On the verge of tears all of the time
Feeling like I was stuck in a fat suit of my own making, but it was my prison.
Feeling lonely lonely lonely.
Being disgusted with myself when I'd falter on yet another "diet".
Chest pains.
That was then.
This is now.
I routinely wake up at 4:30 in order to get my exercise in for the day.
I can run 2 miles up a mountain without stopping!
I can compete in a sprint-distance triathlon and feel like I BELONG!
I take my shopping cart full of protein and veggies proudly through Costco, Sprouts, Whole Foods, and Safeway, daring anyone to scrutinize.
My son wants to marry me, because I'm his Princess!
I feel free free free!
I am free to be ME, and free to help OTHERS
I can "curl up" in an airplane seat now, and tuck my legs underneath me if I want, with plenty of room on the seat belt!
I have lots of room in the theater seats!
I can fit my entire lower body up to my waist in ONE LEG of my size 26 jeans.
I am wearing stylish clothes, size 2 jeans, size 4 dresses, and can wear knee high leather boots, which I HAVE now!
I fit into small ladies petite tops.
I am living the life I ALWAYS knew was within me to live, if only I could master the one thing that had eluded me thus far, which was how to control my body instead of letting my body control me. I have made great strides in that area.
Self Discipline. Healthy Habits. These things may not be easy to master, but they ARE simple. Action, not reaction. Healthy choices TODAY which will further my primary goals.
So, who's with me?
I don't want you to fix it I just want you to listen...
Do you ever feel like the man in
this video? Seriously, as I run around town accomplishing my day I see
so many people with nails in their head as regards their health.
So. Many. People.
And I was one of them not so long ago.
Here's the thing about this supportive community, the thing that I think is wonderful. We have "fixers" and we have "listeners" on this site. And no one of us needs to be both at all times. There are many times that my blogs and my discussion board posts strike the tone of "fixing" which may not be what some people on here would like to hear at the time.
But I am mostly a fixer.
I am SO glad we have so many listeners on this site, because truly this community is so caring and so unique because we all bring something to the table. Now, back to "out there" in the "real world".
I see so many people with nails in their head as regards their health, and I hurt for them. I want to develop relationships with ALL of them so I can show them what I did to finally get that nail out of my head!
And as I watch the 400 lbs man on oxygen in his scooter waiting for his cheesecake sample at Costco, the sense of urgency is sometimes overwhelming. It sometimes even overwhelms me to tears.
I am quite often the "man" in this video. My idea of "fixing" as regards health is asking the questions:
*Are you following the program as described in the Quick Start Guide?
*Are you engaging in bites, licks and tastes? Because you will slow or stall completely (or worse) your progress on this plan if you are.
*Are you drinking all your water?
*Are you eating within 1 hour of waking and then every 2.5-3 hours after that?
*Are you doing too much exercise?
*Are you doing lots of recipes with cheese and tomato sauce?
*Are you weighing your lean cooked protein?
*Are you limiting your condiments to 3, and limiting them to those prescribed in the Condiment/Healthy Fat publication?
*Are you logging your intake?
*Are you FOLLOWING the plan and not substituting your judgment for that of the plan?
*Are you solely utilizing Medifast Meals for your 5 Medifast Meals per day?
*Are you reaching out for support?
*Are you reading Dr. A's Habits of Health in a thoughtful way?
These are my "go-to's" for fixing my OWN plan when I find that I am faltering or not getting the results I desire. These are the questions I ask myself.
Every day that we make a habit out of these practices we go to bed healthier than when we woke up. Every. Day.
I am just here to say today, one more time, that I am grateful for Take Shape For Life. I am thankful for the tools that it gave ME to get the nail out of my head. You know that Bible verse about getting the log out of our own eye before attempting to remove the splinter out of someone else's eye? Here's to working on ourselves ALWAYS, relentlessly, without tiring, and running the good race. Because the more I am able to be evidence that this program works, the more I can help other people see the value in this program.
So. Many. People.
And I was one of them not so long ago.
Here's the thing about this supportive community, the thing that I think is wonderful. We have "fixers" and we have "listeners" on this site. And no one of us needs to be both at all times. There are many times that my blogs and my discussion board posts strike the tone of "fixing" which may not be what some people on here would like to hear at the time.
But I am mostly a fixer.
I am SO glad we have so many listeners on this site, because truly this community is so caring and so unique because we all bring something to the table. Now, back to "out there" in the "real world".
I see so many people with nails in their head as regards their health, and I hurt for them. I want to develop relationships with ALL of them so I can show them what I did to finally get that nail out of my head!
And as I watch the 400 lbs man on oxygen in his scooter waiting for his cheesecake sample at Costco, the sense of urgency is sometimes overwhelming. It sometimes even overwhelms me to tears.
I am quite often the "man" in this video. My idea of "fixing" as regards health is asking the questions:
*Are you following the program as described in the Quick Start Guide?
*Are you engaging in bites, licks and tastes? Because you will slow or stall completely (or worse) your progress on this plan if you are.
*Are you drinking all your water?
*Are you eating within 1 hour of waking and then every 2.5-3 hours after that?
*Are you doing too much exercise?
*Are you doing lots of recipes with cheese and tomato sauce?
*Are you weighing your lean cooked protein?
*Are you limiting your condiments to 3, and limiting them to those prescribed in the Condiment/Healthy Fat publication?
*Are you logging your intake?
*Are you FOLLOWING the plan and not substituting your judgment for that of the plan?
*Are you solely utilizing Medifast Meals for your 5 Medifast Meals per day?
*Are you reaching out for support?
*Are you reading Dr. A's Habits of Health in a thoughtful way?
These are my "go-to's" for fixing my OWN plan when I find that I am faltering or not getting the results I desire. These are the questions I ask myself.
Every day that we make a habit out of these practices we go to bed healthier than when we woke up. Every. Day.
I am just here to say today, one more time, that I am grateful for Take Shape For Life. I am thankful for the tools that it gave ME to get the nail out of my head. You know that Bible verse about getting the log out of our own eye before attempting to remove the splinter out of someone else's eye? Here's to working on ourselves ALWAYS, relentlessly, without tiring, and running the good race. Because the more I am able to be evidence that this program works, the more I can help other people see the value in this program.
"Because you can't have enough good people around you...."
“You can’t get enough people like him,” Kraft said, according to USA
Today. “Life is about collecting good people around you. You can’t have
enough good people.”
This was a recent statement by Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, upon signing Tim Tebow on a 2 year contract to play.
I love this sentiment.
Kraft knows that surrounding yourself with good people sets you up for success.
Who are you surrounding yourself with?
Our support system is SO important. It is vastly important to surround yourself with like-minded people who are life-givers, who help you to be the best person you can be.
When you find such people, "collect" them as friendships and pour in to their lives as well. If you have a desert landscape on your horizon as regards friends such as these, begin to seek them out. Relationships are so important on this journey we call life, and especially when we are seeking to become optimally healthy.
Is everyone around you a nay-sayer? Is everyone around you trying to sabotage you or are they telling you that you won't succeed? Ditch 'em.
Seriously. Well, not if they are immediate family.
What if it is a spouse? In THOSE cases, lovingly remind them that you DO have what it takes, then go about proving that without using your words. Do the work. Do it in the background if you need to, do it quietly and without complaint.
I can't tell you how many times I tried a new "diet program" in the years after I got married to my husband, and he would sit back and watch me try...and fail. Try....and fail. Try.....and fail. So it was no wonder that it was with a bit of skepticism he allowed me to try THIS program.
So be gentle with your spouse if they are doubting. Allow your actions to speak LOUDER than your words. Is he still watching you steal "just one" french fry from your child's happy meal? Does he KNOW that your little one didn't in fact finish his pasta at dinner, but oh look the plate on the table near the sink is now empty? Did he suspect that you probably ate "just the crusts" of the leftover pizza that went uneaten at lunch during the game? Does he see the "horizon line" of the ice cream container inching it's way down down down day by day, knowing that HE nor the KIDS are eating it? Does he watch as the block of cheese gets smaller day by day in the refrigerator? Or that the cereal box seems a little more empty in the morning than it was at the end of breakfast the day before? Does he wonder why none of the brownies actually HAVE crusty edges?
If he is seeing any of this going on, then he knows one thing. That you are STILL not being honest with yourself or the plan. So he may bite his tongue, shake his head and hope for a better tomorrow, or he may just ask you why you keep wasting money on "that Medifast stuff" month-to-month because I'll tell you one thing, if you ARE doing those things in that paragraph above, you AREN'T being honest with yourself and you AREN'T being honest with the plan. Ask yourself one thing:
WHY NOT?
Aren't you tired of this cycle? Aren't you tired of this hamster wheel? I was! I was tired of MYSELF and the shenanigans I continued to play when I was "playing at Medifast" or "playing at TSFL".
I was tired of feeling bad. Of feeling guilty. Of feeling shame that I couldn't even control what I put in my FREAKING mouth for 24 hours!
Is this you?
There IS hope.
FIRST, you must SAY WHO IT IS YOU WANT TO BE. Without this, you are directionless. Formulate in your mind WHO IT IS that YOU want to be. WHO is the best version of yourself? What does she look like? What does she do? How do others view her?
Find her. Then become her. How? By doing the things ONLY THAT PERSON would do.
When I decided to become fit and healthy, I was anything BUT fit and healthy. But look. Poof. I'm fit and healthy. Because I started doing every day what fit and healthy people do every day. And eventually my outsides caught up with my insides.
Eventually.
My outsides.
Caught up.
With my insides.
I changed my inside. I changed my mind. That junk became "not my food". At Costco when I'd pass the red wine and black licorice my mantra was "I don't buy that stuff anymore". And I didn't. Did I FEEL it every time? No. But I DID it every time.
What will YOU do today?
Rinse and Repeat!
I'm Stacy Phillips. And I'm who I want to be. I'm fit and healthy. I've lost 130 pounds and kept it off for over a year now. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Become her.
This was a recent statement by Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, upon signing Tim Tebow on a 2 year contract to play.
I love this sentiment.
Kraft knows that surrounding yourself with good people sets you up for success.
Who are you surrounding yourself with?
Our support system is SO important. It is vastly important to surround yourself with like-minded people who are life-givers, who help you to be the best person you can be.
When you find such people, "collect" them as friendships and pour in to their lives as well. If you have a desert landscape on your horizon as regards friends such as these, begin to seek them out. Relationships are so important on this journey we call life, and especially when we are seeking to become optimally healthy.
Is everyone around you a nay-sayer? Is everyone around you trying to sabotage you or are they telling you that you won't succeed? Ditch 'em.
Seriously. Well, not if they are immediate family.
What if it is a spouse? In THOSE cases, lovingly remind them that you DO have what it takes, then go about proving that without using your words. Do the work. Do it in the background if you need to, do it quietly and without complaint.
I can't tell you how many times I tried a new "diet program" in the years after I got married to my husband, and he would sit back and watch me try...and fail. Try....and fail. Try.....and fail. So it was no wonder that it was with a bit of skepticism he allowed me to try THIS program.
So be gentle with your spouse if they are doubting. Allow your actions to speak LOUDER than your words. Is he still watching you steal "just one" french fry from your child's happy meal? Does he KNOW that your little one didn't in fact finish his pasta at dinner, but oh look the plate on the table near the sink is now empty? Did he suspect that you probably ate "just the crusts" of the leftover pizza that went uneaten at lunch during the game? Does he see the "horizon line" of the ice cream container inching it's way down down down day by day, knowing that HE nor the KIDS are eating it? Does he watch as the block of cheese gets smaller day by day in the refrigerator? Or that the cereal box seems a little more empty in the morning than it was at the end of breakfast the day before? Does he wonder why none of the brownies actually HAVE crusty edges?
If he is seeing any of this going on, then he knows one thing. That you are STILL not being honest with yourself or the plan. So he may bite his tongue, shake his head and hope for a better tomorrow, or he may just ask you why you keep wasting money on "that Medifast stuff" month-to-month because I'll tell you one thing, if you ARE doing those things in that paragraph above, you AREN'T being honest with yourself and you AREN'T being honest with the plan. Ask yourself one thing:
WHY NOT?
Aren't you tired of this cycle? Aren't you tired of this hamster wheel? I was! I was tired of MYSELF and the shenanigans I continued to play when I was "playing at Medifast" or "playing at TSFL".
I was tired of feeling bad. Of feeling guilty. Of feeling shame that I couldn't even control what I put in my FREAKING mouth for 24 hours!
Is this you?
There IS hope.
FIRST, you must SAY WHO IT IS YOU WANT TO BE. Without this, you are directionless. Formulate in your mind WHO IT IS that YOU want to be. WHO is the best version of yourself? What does she look like? What does she do? How do others view her?
Find her. Then become her. How? By doing the things ONLY THAT PERSON would do.
When I decided to become fit and healthy, I was anything BUT fit and healthy. But look. Poof. I'm fit and healthy. Because I started doing every day what fit and healthy people do every day. And eventually my outsides caught up with my insides.
Eventually.
My outsides.
Caught up.
With my insides.
I changed my inside. I changed my mind. That junk became "not my food". At Costco when I'd pass the red wine and black licorice my mantra was "I don't buy that stuff anymore". And I didn't. Did I FEEL it every time? No. But I DID it every time.
What will YOU do today?
Rinse and Repeat!
I'm Stacy Phillips. And I'm who I want to be. I'm fit and healthy. I've lost 130 pounds and kept it off for over a year now. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Become her.
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