Which Moment Was THE Moment?

"When did you just KNOW that you had made this a lifestyle and not just another diet?  What was the TRIGGER that caused that?"

While on my walk this morning, I was pondering this question that a good friend asked me the other day.  And it perplexed me a bit.  Because this second time around, I can't point to an "epipha-ME" that set the stage for me just KNOWING that this time I WILL maintain my weight.

And while I DO just KNOW, I can't point to a single causal event which was "the magic bullet" which caused the change in my head.

But I had some thoughts that I'll share anyway about the subject because I think it is a good one to consider.

I can point to THE EVENT which caused me to decide back on 06/07 that I WAS going to DO THIS OR DIE TRYING so to speak, and that was when I stumbled in a parking lot with my 1-year-old son in my arms, we both went down slow motion and he hit his head on the pavement.  THAT was a deep place of emotional pain and conflict for me, knowing that my morbid class IV obesity was not only threatening MY life but HIS as well, that I could actually cause him harm because I was so large and cumbersome that I couldn't catch myself when I slightly turned my ankle in a pothole.  Yes, that was a painful life-altering event for me, very much so. 

And yes, I did lose 140 pounds in 14 months after that.   But I didn't keep it off.  That one perspective-changing "trigger" wasn't "enough" in and of itself to maintain my weight and make it a permanent change.

After I gained it all back and marinated for a couple of years, I decided, made the decision, to "do it again" but this time I committed to going in to the Take Shape For Life process, complete with getting a Health Coach, and reading Dr. A's Habits of Health.  So I did.  And I'm down 130 pounds and maintaining.

I don't "wait" for some emotional pain or conflict to come in and be the "reason" I can stick to this day in and day out.  I wake up in the morning, and I choose health.  I do this daily.  It's not a "once and for all" kind of decision.  I guess that is what makes it a lifestyle is that I do it every morning.

My conversation with myself goes something like this in the mornings:

Me:"So, you're up.  Go get your coffee and first meal"
Me:"Ok."
Me:"Now go for your walk."
Me:"OK."
It DOESN'T go like this:
"Oh man I'm so tired of this struggle!  What I wouldn't give for a Starbucks Coffee Cake and Venti Caramel Frappuchino with whip!"

NEITHER do I take my emotional temperature to consult my feelings about whether or not I desire to be on plan today, like this:
Me:"I don't feel like having a Medifast Meal"
Me:"Ok then don't.  You can always start tomorrow."

There is one fact about myself that I know will be true today, tomorrow, and in 10 years time.  That fact is that if I give myself extra calories over and above my daily needs, I WILL gain weight.  THIS doesn't EVER change.  And it never will.  And I will never allow myself to get into the place where my weight CAUSES me emotional stress or pain, so I don't use THAT as my motivation.  Because waiting for emotional pain and stress to come and be my motivation necessitates that I GAIN weight and then have to RELOSE it.

I don't make my decision to stay on my eating plan based upon how I am feeling at any given moment.  For me, I have set "attaining AND MAINTAINING a healthy weight" as my primary goal.  So all of my decisions revolve around what will further my primary goal.  And that is it.

My primary goal is not "To Lose Weight".  It is "To Attain and Maintain a Healthy Weight" which, guess what, is a lifetime pursuit.  It doesn't have a deadline.  It doesn't expire.  The need for it never diminishes.  And it keeps me in a place of peace in that area of my life, so that I CAN GO AND LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE.  Yes, it gives me the freedom to be truly me.  All of me.  All the time. 

So people do still ask "What was THE moment" and I guess my answer would be "This one.  Whatever moment I am CURRENTLY in is THE moment I choose to act in a manner in accordance with obtaining my primary goal."

Happy Take Shape For Life-ing!  Rinse and Repeat!