| Every month or so I try to revisit my "Why". My "Why" is my overall reason for doing Medifast, for getting control of my health and my life. Why? Why am I doing this? There are many reasons which weave into an ongoing tapestry of my life. But have you ever seen the UNDERSIDE of a tapestry? Sometimes I feel like I'm staring mostly at that underside, which is just a jumble of colors, tied off threads, willy nilly with no perceivable pattern, rhyme, or reason. The stuff of life. The daily distractions. The concerns and worries, the small fires I have to put out daily to manage my household. Every once in awhile, though, I turn over that unfinished tapestry and see that I am truly weaving a masterpiece. And it is those glimpses which continue to confirm that I am in this for the long haul, for the life style and that NO ONE can unravel that tapestry except ME. The picture on the tapestry is that of reaching my God-given potential. It is, after all, the least I can do in return and in gratitude for the life I have been given. God designed my body to be a healthy weight. I will make sure I honor my body and my God by becoming and maintaining exactly what He designed me to be. Because it is never too late to become the person we might have been. Onward and downward! What is YOUR tapestry a picture of? Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat. |
| So I'm down just about 90 lbs and if there are any newbies out there let me tell you my secret. One day at a time, one meal at a time, rinse and repeat. Go to bed, wake up, new day. One day at a time, one meal at a time, rinse and repeat. Go to bed, wake up, new day. Live life in the meantime, but don't let food be part of your definition of "living life". Read the materials, familiarize yourself with the program for YOU. If you have questions about what is or isn't on plan, ask Nutrition Support, you can either post your question or pick up the phone and CALL them for an immediate answer. Lastly, enjoy the process. Rejoice in your accomplishments, for if you are on plan they will be many. Remember that life doesn't "start" when you reach goal. There are many joys to be found along the way TO goal. Look for them and they will find you! Happy Medifasting! Rinse and repeat! |
| I have recently discovered that I have PAD. Peripheral Arterial Disease. Besides having Metabolic Syndrome and Insulin Resistance, PAD rears it's ugly head. The good news is that although I have this diagnosis, I am already almost 90 pounds in to doing something about it. It can be almost completely mitigated by becoming a healthy weight. Since I am 11 lbs away from overweight (still "barely" obese) I am much more encouraged than I would be had I found this out 90 pounds ago with 100 to go to just "overweight"! I found out that 50% of those diagnosed with PAD will have a fatal or severe cardiac event within 5 years. If that isn't an implied expiration date I don't know what is! Fifty percent?! Wow. Talk about adding a little bit of extra resolve to my already-resolute program! Funny, my inner-sabateur got a severe reprimand today when she suggested I add extra half and half to my coffee. Usually I give her a polite "no". Today I yelled at her and threw her unceremoniously into the closet. Did I mention the strait jacket? Ha! The key to short-term mitigation is doing things that will increase the circulation in the lower extremities. The bicycle I purchased last week at a garage sale has been used EVERY DAY because I love to ride it! And oddly enough, I have been a-symptomatic for PAD since I began riding it! So I will continue. I also started a low-dose aspirin regimen and the combination of the two I believe is doing the trick. I hope to never experience the symptoms again, they feel like a charlie-horse in the rear end! Anyway, just wanted to mention that I am optimistic PAD will not be an issue for me now that I am getting to a more healthy weight. Thanks for listening! |
| First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. Epictetus is one my favorite philosophers when it comes to quotable quotes. He just has a way of capturing everything I try to say in an entire paragraph and distilling it into one sentence. This is my journey. Back in July of 2010 I said I would someday soon be a model of health. I would lose my 150 lbs, be at my goal weight, and be helping others do the same. In May of 2011, I am well on my way to my goal weight (down almost 90 lbs now), and I am becoming a model of health. I am also helping others do the same. Every morning I "say" what I will do today as regards my food intake. I let my exercise be impulsive and random, but the food I write down at the beginning of the day based on my schedule, whether I'll be on the go or not, etc, and my desires. Do I feel like having a brownie 5 times that day? Then I do. Do I want to mix my shake and my caramel bar and make frozen bon-bon bites? Then I make them! Thing is I plan for the day so that I am prepared for the day. Then I do what I have to do. Daily. Hourly. Have I said I'll drink 2 L of water before noon? Then I do. Bottom line is that I've learned to keep my word to myself regarding my intake. I can't fool myself, I can't cheat myself. I do what I have to do. So where are you now? Where do you want to be in 1 years time? First, say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. I couldn't have said it better myself. Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat! |
| Sometimes I'll get the question of how in the world can you stay 100% on plan consistently? Is there some superhuman gene that some people have and some people don't which allows them to comply with the program day in and day out? Nope. You would think, after 9 months of Medifast, the voices of self-sabotage would be silent. They aren't. But I'll tell you what I do, what my secret is, in dealing with those voices. Because they DO come, and I DO deal with them. And the resulting behavior is staying ON PLAN. What is my secret? Here goes: I tell them "No." Simple, yes. Easy? NO! But doable. Here's how it plays out every morning in my kitchen. EVERY MORNING mind you, without FAIL! (If a day happens to come along and I don't have this happen, I figure my self-sabateur was sleeping in....but she's always awake the next morning...) Get out my 5 oz coffee mug from the cupboard, measure out 30 g 1/2 and 1/2 on my food scale. As I'm measuring I hear: Subconscious me: "Oh it's ok if it goes a little over, no biggie, you can make up for it later in your healthy fat selection." Conscious me: "No." Pop the mug in the microwave for 10 sec to take the chill off the Half and Half, put a packet of Splenda in and fill it to the brim with delicious piping hot premium freshly ground French Roast from the San Francisco Bay Coffee Company. Take that first sip. Ahhhhh. Bliss. Take a second sip. Ahhhh, double bliss. When my first cup is finished, here's what happens: Subconscious me: "Just one more. Just put 15 g 1/2 and 1/2 in it, you'll be a little over in condiments but that is OK! Or better yet, ditch all your dressing for the afternoon salad and be gratified NOW." Conscious me: "No." At this point, I have spoken a very conscious "No" to my subconscious self-sabateur TWICE, and it is still before 8:00 am! She pipes down throughout the day because I've already told her no twice. And it never seems to get easier to say no to her those first two times. And it is always with my coffee. But here's the thing. It sets a pattern up for the rest of the day of compliance and delaying the instant gratification of having what I want WHEN I want as regards food. Now I can attest to all of you, without shame, that this is a real and tempting dialog that happens every morning in my head. I can also attest to all of you that once I did it (said "no") for 21 days it became a habit. Here's the thing, though, even though it IS a habit, the dialog STILL exists. Daily. And it is difficult but doable to continue to say "no" to that inner-brat. If, however, one day I succumb and say "yes", then it becomes TWICE as hard the next day, and infact for the rest of THAT day to say "no". It becomes downright painful. I am such a whimp for pain. I don't want it. I avoid it. I don't like it. So I choose to get those first two "no's" out of the way first thing. And I WON'T say yes because I do not want to invite pain and suffering and mental angst in having to re-establish a broken habit. No thank you! If you've gotten to the end of this, you may have found something you could relate to. I hope you have! Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat! |
| Yesterday my son and I walked to school. Then I rode my bicycle to Sprouts, bought fresh produce for the day, and rode home and prepared a very delicious sauteed mushroom dish for my Lean and Green. I felt very European. Who needs a car when I have a bicycle? The other day I rode there just to buy fresh flowers to brighten my table. These are good days indeed. Thank you, Medifast! Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat! |
| Was actually today! Today was the happiest day of my life so far, and I anticipate it will only get better. Today I was counting my blessings as I was riding my bicycle to my son's school. I saw him playing on the playground, in his little Tilley Hat (not actually little, the boy has a bigger head than his momma, and he's only 6!), running around with a little football. He was running circles around the very pregnant Kindergarten aide, and I could just imagine what their dialog was as I'm sure he was saying hello to the baby in her belly! She was laughing so it must have gone something like that! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, I am 80+ pounds down and I was comfortably riding a bicycle watching my survivor son just be a kid in the sunshine. I just about cried. I was also listening to my IPOD and Pink's song "Perfect" was playing. I realized I can really identify with those lyrics. Here they are: Made a wrong turn, once or twice Dug my way out, blood and fire Bad decisions, that's alright Welcome to my silly life Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood Miss knowing it's all good, it didn't slow me down Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated Luck, I'm still around Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel Like you're less than, less than perfect Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing You're perfect to me! You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead So complicated, look happy, you'll make it! Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game It's enough! I've done all I can think of Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel Like you're less than, less than perfect Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing You are perfect to me Anyway, such are the ramblings of a West Coaster at 10pm when everyone else in the MediBlog world is asleep. Don't know how many will read this, being so late, but I was counting my blessings today and they were many. I challenge you to do the same. I think you'll be surprised! Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat! |
| Dancing With the Stars, Retired Pro Quarterback in the NFL (Cardinals, Rams), yes, THE KURT WARNER! I am so excited. On June 4th we are having a reunion for all the families who have attended the Warner's "First Things First Foundation" annual co-sponsored (with Make-a-Wish) trip to Disneyworld. My family had the privilege and pleasure of going with the Warner family (they have 7 kids, one who is developmentally disabled) and 8 other families from the Phoenix and St Louis area to Disneyworld for a week back in July of 2009. It was a great trip for us, and especially for our son who had a kidney transplant in 08 and is doing GREAT! He was 4 at the time we went, and all he remembers is that he had a great time and that Kurt and his beautiful wife Brenda are so nice! He also watched Kurt in the next (and his last) season with the Cardinals before he retired, not to mention the fun season with Dancing With the Stars last year! Why is this significant to me? Well, two reasons. Firstly, it is Brenda Warner whom I got to know on that trip, and who I call my friend (I also call Kurt my friend but probably wouldn't call him up to go get a cup of coffee!), who had the motto I keep on my discussion board signature. The motto of "It is never too late to become who we 'might have' been". She and I had some good talks about self-esteem, fitness, goals, and ultimately, becoming the best version of ourselves possible. For God's glory and for our and our family's benefit. It was she who inspired me, who began to set the groundwork once again which helped to bring me out of my Post Traumatic Stress and ultimately, the following summer, to restart Medifast and put myself on a path to optimal health. So I am thrilled to be able to spend an afternoon/evening with Kurt and Brenda and their clan here in the Phoenix area on June 4th! And she will rejoice with me that I am down just about 90 pounds from when we all went to Disneyworld. That trip was pretty momentous for me, a real turning point in many ways. Firstly, it was her loving kindness, her input, her taking the time to really SEE me, which helped me realize that I deserve to be SEEN, and not just move through this world as a semi-invisible entity. Secondly, on that trip I needed a seat belt extender mid-flight on the way home. Who needs a seat belt extender MID-FLIGHT? I had begun the trip a week earlier NOT needing the extender, and in fact even squeezed into my seat belt on take-off on the way home. Somewhere on that 4-hour flight I had expanded, that little straw that breaks the camel's back, and when I came back from using the restroom I could not for the life of me snap my seat-belt back together. Imagine the flight attendant's confusion when I asked for an extender 2 hours into the flight. She was gracious enough not to ask questions, and I took my extender from her in my shame. It struck me on that trip that I was expanding....hourly. Here I thought since I had reached my previous high I would somehow plateau out and remain at 268, eating whatever I wanted. Not the case. I was actually expanding by the hour. It struck me once again the other saying I have which is "You could always be bigger". It is true. I could have easily gone on and gained just 32 more pounds in the next year, topping out at 300 before I came to my senses. For a shortie short shortie of 5 foot 3, I probably would have been dead by then. But I began to emerge from my Post Traumatic Stress, and maintained my weight for about a year until I was ready to embark on THE journey to change my life and my health. I am now 84 pounds down, and by the time I see Brenda in 2 weeks I'll be 90 pounds down. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! The moral if the story is that we are all valuable in God's eyes, we should never think that we are not. We should all be striving to be the best versions of ourselves possible, and to live up to our God-given potential, and that if we relax and stop being vigilant about our intake, we can always be bigger. And bigger. And bigger. So lets remember that all it takes is one day at a time. One 24-hour period at a time. That's all we need to worry about. Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat! |
| Ever get discouraged about the sheer amount of TIME it is going to take to get to your goal? I used to. Then I realized a few things. Firstly, the time will pass anyway, whether I am doing the program or not. In one year I will be one year older, with one year's more worth of wrinkles on my face and a one-year older body. My son will be one year older, he'll be 7, and I have two choices as I see it. I can be that active fit Mom who has boundless energy and can run in the park with her child.... or.... I can still be obese, WISHING I was that active fit Mom who has boundless energy and can run in the park with her child. How many of us say "If I had started Medifast when KB started Medifast, I'd be down over 80 pounds by now". Ok, ok, you don't have to insert MY name in there, but you know what I mean. We look at these amazing before and after pictures of amazing people and we say "If only....." Well, my "if only" is TODAY. The only "if only" I need to consider is whether my next meal will be a Dutch Chocolate 55 Shake, or a package of Cinnamon Pretzels. When I line up enough of those kinds of choices, time will pass, and one day I will wake up and I will be the one posting "GOALLLLLLL!!!!!!" on my blog. And others will see it, and say "I wish I had started Medifast 17 months ago....whoah! SEVENTEEN MONTHS?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can't do ANYTHING for seventeen months!!! I'm SO discouraged! I may as well quit now....." Ok, you see how those kinds of projections go? It's called a major BUZZ-KILL! But the good news is that you only have to worry about today. You don't have to carry the entire weight of the entire journey on your shoulders in this instant. It was never meant to be that way. We are only to worry about TODAY. And today I can do anything, because I can do ANYTHING for 24 hours. So I will wait patiently, in this, my journey. I will worry about my next meal, and getting in all my water on time and on schedule. Because today is all I have to worry about. And today is all YOU have to worry about! And I do plan on reaching goal in about 7 months, but I'm not discouraged about it because TODAY is all I'm thinking about. Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat! |
| And she told me to weigh once a week. Sigh. She is right. I am an all-or-nothing person, and she pointed out to me that the solution to the problem of weighing daily is NOT necessarily to put the scale away forever. You see, my pendulum sometimes swings from one extreme to the other, which is part of what I am working on during this process of transformation both inside and out. I will weigh once a week. Not daily, not never. I think I respond well to words of wisdom, don't you? Heh heh. The great thing about the support system that I have around me, both with my mentor and with staying active on the boards/blogs, is the variety of ideas that we get to experience. Iron sharpens iron, and not ONE of us can do this alone. So, lesson learned, I will weigh once a week. Not every day, and not never. Part of the habits of health I am learning IS to monitor my weight weekly so I may as well start now. I will say though I have learned quite a bit by not weighing this last week, I learned that I CAN survive the day NOT stepping on the scale. I learned that I can go about my business, the business of staying On Plan, without wondering if I'll be up a tenth because I had this meal or that meal, and just stop psychoanalyzing my body on a daily or hourly basis which is, in a word, MADDENING, let alone a huge distraction from the things I should be accomplishing during my day. Bottom line is this works. And I am working it. And the scale does not contribute to my success but is only a measure of it over the long term. Whew! What a relief! |
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
May 16th 2011 - May 25th 2011
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