Can I just tell you how ecstatic I am to report this?
I am PROOF that a food addict can, with adopting habits of health incrementally, over time, CHANGE.
It
was a long road. I dare not say I have "arrived" because I have my
WHOLE life ahead of me to continue pursuing health, and there is no
expiration date or "end" to that, well, until there is. =)
In
years past, the baking of the annual Christmas goodies was always a
tenuous activity, fraught with peril. I would feel anxious leading up
to the day of baking, and then anxious all day long, trying so hard to
keep my fingers out of the dough and all that sugary chocolaty
marshmallowey (I thought at the time) goodness.
Since last year, I
have been intensely working on MY own journey, discovering MY "why",
becoming the person I have always wanted to be.
I am still
becoming her. But I like her a LOT! And she honestly couldn't care one
whit about bites licks or tastes of ANYTHING that she baked today. It
doesn't even appeal to me. I am not saying this just to SAY it, it is
ABSOLUTELY 100% true that THIS FOOD IS NOT MY FOOD ANYMORE.
But sugar has lost it's hold on me. Gone. I pray never to return.
You
see, every day I make the choice to pursue health. And eating
Chocolate Fudge or Fleur De Sel Caramel Pumpkin Fudge, or Christmas
Wreath Cookies don't appeal to me any more. I love giving it away, and I
don't feel bad giving it to other people because NOT EVERYONE has a
food addiction like I did. Many fit and healthy people are ambivalent
and pretty responsible when confronted with a plate of fudge. They can
have a piece or no.
Do you notice that? Fit and healthy people,
when they go to parties with Christmas Cookies and Fudge and all sorts
of fattening treats don't go GAGA over the tables. Their eyes don't get
super-wide, and they could have some or not, it depends on how they
feel, and how they WANT to feel later on.
Fit and healthy people act in this manner.
Do
you notice how overweight and obese people act when they see the same
table? Eyes wide, mouth watering, instant thoughts of deprivation if
they are on a latest "diet", putting on their martyr face and then
saying "well perhaps just one piece, I can always start again tomorrow,
after all it is Christmas".
I used to be that person. I am not
her anymore. I don't look down on the way I used to be, I rejoice that I
am not like that anymore. But it didn't happen by accident. How did
it happen?
#1 - Over time.
You MUST be patient with the
process. It didn't come on overnight, nor were our habits of disease
that got us here formed overnight.
#2 - With intentionality.
The
first time I did the plan (the time in 06/07 when I lost 140 pounds on
"Medifast" and gained it all back in 08) I just "did" the "plan". I was
not intentional about developing habits of health (as per Dr. A) and I
never WILLFULLY took my focus off food. I remained food-centric, which
is the LAST thing a food addict needs to be. The second time in 2010?
WAY different. I was INTENTIONAL about my focus.
#3 - With purpose and direction
Every
day I woke up and said "Am I going to move CLOSER to my health goals
today, or farther FROM them". Notice I didn't wake up and say "Am I
going to deprive myself of all the yummy food today and stay on my
eating plan, or aren't I?" Again, HEALTH oriented NOT FOOD oriented.
#4 - With grace
I
forgave myself when I would slip and do something I had not planned or
intended. I made my NEXT meal a Medifast one and did NOT look back or
beat myself up.
#5 - With compassion
I understand the
limitations of my body, and I attempted to respect and honor those in my
journey. Rare were the times I would throw myself under the bus by
eating BLATANTLY off plan sugared up food or drink.
I hope this
helps ANYONE this holiday season. Act like a fit and healthy person
and eventually you will become one. Act like a food addict who is on a
diet, and you will remain one.
Rinse and Repeat!
2 comments:
This part really hit home: "Do you notice that? Fit and healthy people, when they go to parties with Christmas Cookies and Fudge and all sorts of fattening treats don't go GAGA over the tables." I have noticed this as well. Our family has several families with whom we have a lot of potluck style get-togethers. When I was at my heaviest, regarding dessert, I would say, "Oh, I just can't decide. I'll have a little bit of everything." and I would. Contrarily, my slender friends would often not only not have a "little of everything", but sometimes they would even halve the brownies or ask for a "small piece of pie". They don't tend to go without, they just partake in moderation. I read a response to a person complaining about being hungry all of the time that went like this: "Feeling like you want to eat something does not constitute an emergency. Drink some water, keep yourself busy. before you know it, it will be time to eat again." It's so true. I will eat again soon. I don't need to put it all in my mouth right now. ;)
This part really hit home: "Do you notice that? Fit and healthy people, when they go to parties with Christmas Cookies and Fudge and all sorts of fattening treats don't go GAGA over the tables." I have noticed this as well. Our family has several families with whom we have a lot of potluck style get-togethers. When I was at my heaviest, regarding dessert, I would say, "Oh, I just can't decide. I'll have a little bit of everything." and I would. Contrarily, my slender friends would often not only not have a "little of everything", but sometimes they would even halve the brownies or ask for a "small piece of pie". They don't tend to go without, they just partake in moderation. I read a response to a person complaining about being hungry all of the time that went like this: "Feeling like you want to eat something does not constitute an emergency. Drink some water, keep yourself busy. before you know it, it will be time to eat again." It's so true. I will eat again soon. I don't need to put it all in my mouth right now. ;)
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