Day 5 of Restart

It is, indeed, day 5 of my restart. I'm looking at a gorgeous Bluejay out my front window. I will indeed miss this house, this yard, this view, this stage of my life. Now there is a speckled woodpecker with a black bib and red beautiful cheeks. He is brown, with black speckles on his chest and tail, and brown stripes across his beautiful winged back. He is diving in the leaves for insects, and is no more than 9 feet away from my eyeballs. His lower cheeks are more fuscia than red. Absolutely gorgeous. Wow, was that a sidetrack or what?

When we get to Gilbert I am going to need to really buckle down and establish a running route and pattern. Here, too, but I am doing that right now. Did 1/2 mile yesterday, just to take myself out for a "test run" to make sure nothing was mis-aligned, or sore, or creaky. Everything seemed to work fine, and I'm looking forward to my 3-miler today.

I feel anxious about the move, the sale of the house, the actual move (physically packing up 7 years of life and carting it across the country!), and about Julian's appointment with Palo Alto for the Non-Steroid transplant protocol transplant evaluation at the end of January. But I have been getting into the Word more. It's like God just wants to talk to me, and he uses His Word to do it...I just need to listen more.

I was journalling this morning, and realized I was asking God for a ton! At the end of it, I asked Him if there was anything I could do for Him. Still waiting on that one. But what I asked of him were the following:

1) Sell our house
2) Move us to Gilbert
3) Get us on the Palo Alto transplant list
4) Allow me to reach my goal of 118 lbs
5) Grow Julian up big and strong
6) Settle my heart (new request)
7) Help me organize myself and my finances
8) Draw me closer to Him (without anyone having to die or anything like that! No trauma, please!)

Sometimes I feel like if I get too close to God He will increase my difficulties. And I don't want increased difficulties. Does that make sense? I just have to trust that He's not a God who does that. He wants to be my refuge, not my troublemaker.

I'm my own troublemaker.

Ok, back to my weight as this is primarily my weight-loss blog....was 152 this morning. Looking forward to getting under 150 again for the LAST time. I kept my Levi's 515 size 2 Petite's out so that I can keep trying them on as my "goal jeans". I haven't dared try them on since September, and don't intend on doing so until I'm atleast down below 130. I'm actually a tiny person, bone-structure wise. While I don't want to become anorexic, I do want to be in shape. Small and in shape.

Ok, that's enough for today.