Monday, February 9, 2015

Who ARE you, anyway?

How I view myself makes all the difference.

Maintaining my healthy weight these last 2 years has been an eye-opening experience in many, many ways.

Firstly I have learned that my body will ALWAYS respond to the instructions that I give it, like a good little soldier.

Secondly, there is a big difference between seeing myself as a fit and healthy woman, and seeing myself as someone who has lost 150 pounds and is "trying to keep the weight off".

Big.  Difference.

What is the difference you say?  The difference mentally is in the DIRECTION of the TENSION, which drives our thought process and then which translates PHYSICALLY to my first point above, which is that our bodies will always respond to the instructions that we give it.

The instructions we give it are rooted in how we view ourselves, which ultimately drive our actions and our health direction.

If we are simply "trying to keep from gaining weight" because we "have always gained it back" in the past and we are petrified and fearful of "gaining it back again" this time, WHERE is our FOCUS?

It is on GAINING the WEIGHT back.  We almost create the inevitability of that event by focusing on it and being fearful of it, allowing it to consume our thoughts and create tension the direction of what?  Of gaining the weight BACK.

Here's the thing that neuroscience has come to realize recently.  Our brains are wildly active even in our sleep.  They are organizing things, filing them away where they belong, figuring out solutions to things we are pondering during the day, etc.

Therefore, when it comes to unresolved tension, no matter what it is, part of our brain is on autopilot, figuring out how to resolve the tension, how to solve the problem.

When it comes to the arena of the fear of weight regain, our minds are viewing that as unresolved tension.  In essence, our brains are working out ways how to just GET IT OVER WITH (gain the weight back) so we can put that tension to rest and resolve it!  How do you like that?  How do you like the thought of your brain working overtime, in parts that you can't even cognitively pinpoint, and even in your SLEEP, trying to resolve the tension you've created by placing your focus on the WEIGHT you are afraid to gain BACK.  I don't know about you, but my mind is pretty sharp, and I certainly don't want it off somewhere, on it's own, cooking up devious plots on how it will get me to gain my weight back!  No thank you!

So what is to be done then?  Well, for me, daily success involved how I view myself.

I don't view myself as a "constant dieter who is in maintenance trying not to gain her weight back".  There is a real danger in this kind of mindset, as I explained above.

I DO view myself NOW as a fit and healthy woman who enjoys and active lifestyle and who joyfully chooses to eat a certain way in order to REMAIN fit and healthy.

New York Times bestselling author Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen, co-founder of Take Shape For Life and Medical Director of Medifast, Inc. talks about this phenomenon in his book "Dr. A's Habits of Health" when he discusses motivation for change, structural tension, and the difference between the "diet mentality" which is essentially an oscillating pattern driven by the conflict resolution model, and "creating optimal health" which is a creative process focusing on the amazing things we can bring IN to our lives as a RESULT of becoming optimally healthy.

There is tension created in our brains in both scenarios.  The tension we create with the conflict-resolution model is tension to GAIN our weight back.  This is because LOSING WEIGHT is a NEGATIVE GOAL (something we want AWAY from, or OUT of our lives) and our motivation for LOSING the weight is because we are in emotional pain and conflict which we want GONE also.  When we begin feeling BETTER about ourselves as the weight begins to come off, we LOSE our motivation.

Some typical thoughts at this stage are:
* It was SO easy at the beginning, why is it SO hard now?
* Why can't I seem to stay a SINGLE DAY on plan?  I used to be able to go WEEKS at a time!
* What is WRONG with me?  Why can't I get my head straight and succeed at KEEPING THE WEIGHT OFF!

I recently went through a precarious mind-shift myself, and only in hindsight can I now see what was happening.

You see, this viewing myself as a fit and health woman is not necessarily a permanent state.  If I don't cognitavely CHOOSE to do this, my default tends to be focusing on the WEIGHT instead.  I mean let's face it, I have about 40 years of practice viewing it as a WEIGHT thing and a DIET thing, and about 4 years of learning HOW to choose HEALTH as my focus.

I ran the Paris Marathon last April, and also participated in the Carlsbad Triathlon in July this last summer and the reality of that made it super-easy for me to continue identifying myself as a fit and healthy woman.

Since August of this year I noticed a bit of a mind shift in to old fears (about "keeping the weight off") and pressures I put upon myself in not wanting to let anyone down by regaining any of my weight.  I became anxious at every daily change of the scale, if it were up 1/4 pound, or up 4 pounds, and this daily hyper-focus on the scale, this daily anxiety if there was a change in the "upward" direction simply began to compound itself.  Before I knew it I was at my "scream" weight, which triggers an automatic "reboot" on our program for me.  I had some time to think about what happened, because I definitely noticed a shift in my mindset in August.

Before August there was joy in creating health!  After August there was fear in gaining weight!

So what have I done recently to give myself more opportunities to continue creating health?  I am beginning AGAIN to identify myself as a fit and healthy woman.  It is who I AM and who I wish to REMAIN.  I have banished the thoughts and fears about "gaining the weight back" because I actually BELIEVE what Dr. A says about all that structural tension stuff!  I have LIVED it time and time again and I recognize the TRUTH about the mind always seeking to resolve unresolved tension, and that by our thoughts, goals and values we create those tensions ourselves!

I have lived on both sides of the spectrum, in the arena of truly creating health in my life, and in the devastation of massive weight regain (which is simply a "snap-back", an "auto-correct" if you will, of the tension I was creating with my "negative goals" mindset).

I have lived BOTH of these ways, and I MASSIVELY prefer the joy and peace that comes from creating health in my life.  I choose to continue in THAT mindset.  Intentionally.

What does that look like practically?

Today I ask the question "Who Am I?"
Next questions "How will my actions today be authentic with who I am?"
Then go and do it.






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