Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Getting Healthy and the Five Stages of Grief

A Similarity Between the Five Stages of Grief and the Emotions of Getting Healthy


DENIAL-I don't have a problem. I'll start tomorrow. I'll start after the party next week. I'll start after my birthday. I'm not really THAT big. I'm not getting on a scale. I'm not going in my closet. I'm fine. I don't have any "health" issues.

ANGER-I'm so angry I have to deal with this every day! "Normal" people don't have to watch every single little thing that goes into their mouth! Why do I have to do this? I'm sick of it! Why can't I eat "yummy" things? Other people get to eat yummy things all the time! I hate water.

BARGAINING-How 'bout if I "sort-of" do the program. I don't REALLY have to weigh and measure my Lean and Green, what does it really matter? Maybe I'll give up my soda. I'll eat a snack instead of a meal. I'm not hungry so I'll skip my last meal. I'll just go to the _____________ (insert:  Dinner Party, Wedding Reception, Buffet, Girls Bunco Night, Block Party, Picnic) and hope there is something there for my Lean and Green, and if not I'll deal with it later or just eat what they serve so I don't have to feel awkward. I'll have 2 bars in a day because I exercised so much. It's just a little taste. How 'bout if I just have this and get right back on track tomorrow. It's such a small piece. I know I can get this 10 pounds off super-fast so I'm just going to enjoy myself today. I'm sure it doesn't really matter that I don't count my condiments.

DEPRESSION-I can't believe I did that. I'll never lose this weight. I'll be fat my whole life, I may as well deal with that fact. I can't understand how I got this way. Why am I this big? What did I do to deserve this? I can't see a way out. Why me? I'll never do this. I'm hopeless.

ACCEPTANCE-I will do the program as written, and enjoy the success that I deserve and that so many people who have stuck to this program are enjoying every day. I will do this. I can do this. I am doing this.


I think the emotions we go through, although unique to us, are indicative of the same pattern in the 5 stages of grief. After all, we are "losing" something. We are losing our previous relationship with food. At the beginning of our journey, or even before it, we have been utilizing food in an improper way for so long it really feels like we are losing our best friend. We eat when we are sad, tired, depressed, happy, bored, you name it! Some of us have had a dysfunctional relationship with food our whole lives. We have gotten "used" to going through life as an overweight or obese person. 

The fat has been a friend, just as food has been a friend. It has made decisions for us. It has dictated what we wear, where we go, whether we sit in a booth or a regular table, what rides we go on Disneyland, whether we can go through the turnstiles at Disneyland or have to go through the gate, how many seats we need to buy on an airplane (you know your fat is like a person to you if you need to buy an extra seat for it...what an appropriate analogy). Our fat tells us whether or not we can go to the beach or wear a bathing suit (NOT!), what section of what store we can buy our clothes in. Our fat dictates whether or not we can buy life insurance, or health insurance, and eventually, our fat dictates when we die. Many of the adult diseases that become fatal are more likely to happen to obese people. Diabetes. Heart disease, and certain cancers are closely tied to weight. So our fat dictates how and when we will die. It may be our friend or our closest companion for years, but it is a treacherous one with your ruin in mind. Get rid of it. It's not worth keeping. Some of us are as comfortable with our fat, and unwilling to get rid of it, as someone in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. Our identities are so wrapped up in us being fat, we can't see life without it.

Please, please, do this for you. Do it for your health. Remember that you are not "losing" your relationship with food, you are CHANGING it. You will be learning healthy habits and falling in love with healthy foods, and your outsides will reflect this change as time passes!  You are not losing YOU.  Just imagine what NEW dreams we can dream for ourselves and our lives when we finally get a handle on getting healthy?  

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