Wow. Yet another restart. What is different this time? Nothing. It is the same struggle. The same decisions. The same tension that settles in when I'm on program. It's like there's a magnet in my brain toward self-sabatoge. The longer I can resist the tension, the more days I am successful without giving in to the pressure. I think it's about striking a balance and living with an acceptable level of tension...and being ok with it. I decide what I put in my mouth. And when I default to junk I am deciding to do that. Is it an indicator of self-loathing? Maybe...but I gotta get through it. I have no reason to loathe myself. I'm not a horrible person.
So...here goes! Day One! Success is mine for the taking.
1 comment:
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