Back on the losing side..almost!

I'm really impressed with myself for my dedication and behavior this last week. After coming back to a devastating gain of 17 lbs, putting me up to 179 last week Sunday, I immediately got back on. I ran my 5K last week Sunday, stayed on program, ran twice last week and ran 5 Miles on Saturday in anticipation of my Cherry Creek Sneak 5 Mile Run next Sunday. (I wanted to see if I could do it, so that when I'm out there doing it I can't fall back on the excuse that I can't do it, and let myself walk any of it.) Grand total? I'm down to 165 this morning. That's 14 lbs down from last week Sunday, and I'm feeling great.

I planned another trip to Phoenix for June 1-3, but I won't have my baby-man with me so the stress will be less. Not that having baby-man was bad, it just added another dimension to an already stressful situation. So, without Julian with me, I am free to concentrate on my Mom and my diet. And I will.

I registered for the Bolder Boulder yesterday at their Bolder Boulder store that they set up every year before the event. It is on Memorial Day, and is a 10K. I don't think I have ever EVER done a 10K, much less run the whole thing and finished! So, I'm very stoked. My husband is bragging on me to everyone he talks to...that is fun too!

He suggests that I continue losing, continue running, run my 1/2 Marathon next January in Phoenix, and then we try for another baby. I'm all for that. Julian will be atleast 4 at the baby's birth, and I think that's a good spread, especially when Julian is probably going to be a small guy because of his Kidney issues. That way if it is a boy, Julian won't feel overpowered or outgunned, size wise.

This will be a good week. I just need to keep drinking the water. That seems to be my weak point right now...so I'm off to drink some water, since it's 8:30 am and I've had my breakfast and my coffee but...no water. Typical.

up 17 lbs? How can that be?

So I went to Phoenix for 8 days, with my son and husband (my hubby flew back Easter day, though) and came back weighing 17 lbs more than when I left! How heartbreaking. But I won't give up. I just have to lose it lickety-split and not let a 17-lb gain turn into a 20 lb, 30 lb, or 50 lb gain (or worse!). I think the key is just recommitting to the program, getting back on track, and moving forward.

It is disheartening, though, how quickly my body can gain weight. It is a brutal reminder that I will always have to be 100% on guard. And if I choose to have food "off program" I can only have one meal off, then get right back on. I won't have anything off for atleast a month though. I'd really like to be under 150 the next time I have anything off program. That is 24 lbs from now. I figure 2 months.

Well that's it for now.

Down Another 1/2

I'm down another half pound today. I seem to be slowing down in the actual weight loss department, but it's ok because my body is changing in amazing ways. It's incredible to watch the transformation. I love it.

I know I'm doing it right, because I've been taking my Body Fat Analysis on my little portable Body Fat Analysis machine. On February 22nd I weighed 177 and had 40% body fat. I had 70 1/2 lbs body fat, and 106.5 lbs of lean body mass. Today I took my measurements and I'm 163 lbs, with 35% body fat, 58 lbs of fat and 105 lbs of lean. So I've lost 14 lbs, and only 1.5 of those were of lean tissue. That is exciting to me. I am losing mostly fat. Yay!

This next week and a half will be stressful, but I've committed to stay on program. I am flying to Phoenix with my hubby and son for Easter, to spend some time with my ailing mother. My son and I will stay for the week, returning next week Saturday, and my hubby will fly home this Sunday night. So, I've got a plane ride with my little pumpkin, and his car seat, and his stroller, etc etc. Should be wild. But weight-wise I plan on being under 160 when I return. (Or else very very close to it!)

I've lost 103.5 lbs so far, and still truckin'.

Went to Walmart Supercenter last night, bought a pair of jammypants and shirt. The color I wanted was blue and green striped, and there were only Mediums and XL's left...so I went for the Mediums, which are 8/10's. I got them home and they fit, although a wee bit snug. I'll still wear them, though! I'll just wear a big sweatshirt over them when we are staying at our friend's house. I needed something that was light, and not heavy like my current nightgown. It's too big anyway.

On April 27th I will have been on the program for 9 months. Hopefully I'll be 155. That is my mini-goal for April 27th.

I may have to settle for 1-2 lbs/week loss as I lose more and more. I tend to lose 2 lbs a week anyway, so I actually may have to settle for 1 lbs/week. Lets say 5 lbs/month...at that rate I'll be at my goal in 9 months...that is depressing, I don't think that will happen....I'll settle for 7 lbs/month, or 7 months. That is the end of October, or my birthday, and that is sort of what I expected.

I just won't think about it, and take one day at a time.

Bye for now!

It is so awesome when.....

It is SO AWESOME when your friend sees you in public in an unexpected place after not seeing you for a few months, does a double take, and says she didn't recognize you at first!

It is SO AWESOME to be able to zip up a pair of fashionable KNEE-HIGH black suede Chico boots. Zip up. All the way to the top. To the knee. Cool.

It is SO AWESOME to buy a pair of Polo Ralph Lauren capri jeans from Costco in a size 10 and have them fit.

It is SO AWESOME to have the choice to stay on plan or go off plan for Easter, and choose to STAY ON.

It is SO AWESOME to have a loving husband and a beautiful son.

It is SO AWESOME to be able to run 4 miles without stopping.

It is SO AWESOME to wear a Victoria's Secret size 36D bra out of the house (TODAY!!! Thank you very much!).

It is SO AWESOME to look at the pair of hospital scrubs the nurse gave me last February, and be able to fit into one leg of them. (They were a 3X...and they fit last year!)

It is SO AWESOME to get out a pair of black Guess button-fly jeans I wore in college, and get them back over my hips. Not buttoned yet, mind you, but gettin' close.

It is SO AWESOME to be the weight I was when my husband met me and still had a choice!! =)

It is an incredible thing to lose 100 lbs. I am not giving in, I am not giving up, I am not backing down. I will get to my goal - 46 more pounds.

By the Way...

By the way, I DID end up running 4 miles on Saturday. Without stopping. 4.17 miles, to be exact. Took me 55 minutes, which is about a 13 minute mile. No matter, I did it. I'm gearing up for a 10K at the end of May. That's 6 miles, I should be able to do that if I'm doing 4 miles right now. Let's see!

Choices

Today is Wednesday, and I'm feeling like I'm in a gray fog. It usually happens around this time of the month. Also feeling a little overwhelmed, as we are going to Phoenix on Friday and I feel like I have a lot to do between now and then, and no energy to do it. Bummer. Still hanging on at 164.5 lbs, hoping for a nice drop tomorrow. I went out of the house unprepared today and had to rely on an Oatmeal/Raisin Bar, which I don't normally have, especially on non-running days. But it was either that or skip a meal, which I didn't want to do. Bub had his dentist appointment, which was great although I found out we aren't brushing his bottom-front teeth correctly. So we started doing it better. It's got a weeks' worth of tartar on it, but I'm sure we can get that off by correctly brushing for a few days. It just got there in the last week.

So I'm going to Phoenix this week, and I'm a bit nervous about what I'll find when we see Mom. She spends most of her time in the bed now, which is rapidly causing her to become truly invalid. She just turned 60. I feel so badly for her. She is starting to look like she's in her 70's.

I am praying that I won't go off MF. I thought about having a piece of pecan/apricot cake, or pineapple/macadamia nut cake that I'm having sent to my sister's house for Easter, but I really need to re-think that. I didn't even want a piece of each, I wanted a sliver of each. Basically, two small bites of each.

Now I have to really think this over. Why do I feel like I should have it? What advice would I give myself if I read this on the Blogs? It's funny how we set our sights on something and then all of a sudden feel like we "deserve" it. Why do I "deserve" it? I've had apricots before, I've had pecans before, I've had pineapple before, I've had macadamia nuts before, and I've had cake before. Nothing new there. But if I eat it, I'll be undermining myself and my progress, and if ANYTHING I need to encourage stability and familiarity while I'm gone, not the opposite. If I go off for Easter, I may find it difficult to get back on for the rest of the week in Phoenix. My stress level will already be off the charts, simply by being in Phoenix. So, I may just decide to stay 100% on program. I could do that. Why do I feel like I'm "giving up" something important or special if I decide that? Why do I think the time would be any less enjoyable, or the company any less special? What is it about food that holds us so?

We are spending the first night at dear friends' house in Tucson. I'm already anticipating having a glass of wine. Why? A glass of wine will throw me right out of ketosis. I can't do that. Do I think that will set a good precedent for the rest of the week? No. Cognitively analyzing the situation in advance makes me think I need to rethink my choices ahead of time. Perhaps it should be either/or. Either I have a glass of wine at my friend's house, OR I have a couple bites of cake at Easter. There is a third option. 100% compliance. That's not as fun of an option. It's like the wine or beer will take the edge off and I can enjoy and relax. But it doesn't set me up great for the week...and do I want to lose weight or gain weight while I'm in Phoenix? I'd prefer to lose. If I'm not going to be exercising (and I already know I'm not...) atleast I can stay 100% on the eating plan. I can. I will. I will measure my half and half. I will not drink wine. I will not drink beer. I will not eat cake or bread on Easter. Because it's all just food and drink. I'm made of stronger stuff. My mettle is serious. My will is strong and can override my desires and wants (where food is concerned, anyway!).

Ok. There's my answer. I am 164.5 right now. In a week and a half, when I return, I will be 161 or lighter. That is my pact. That is my goal. I have not been in the 150's for over 13 years. I was 24 the last time I weighed in the 150's or less.

Let that goal and that challenge drive me through the week of temptation. That is the advice I would give myself.

Have a good Easter anyone who may be reading this! Or a good Passover!

Today is Sunday, and I have been out and about in Boulder with my dear hubby and my dear son. They are so precious to me! We went to the Med for lunch, and I had a wonderful salmon salad with radishes, asparagus, tomato, onion, and a soy lime dressing on the side. Drank plenty of water. Enjoyed the conversation and the company. I love my family! Then we walked around on Pearl Street, the pedestrian mall. We went for the obligatory but ever so yummy Starbucks (Tall sugar-free hazelnut americano please) and a quick stop at "Into the Wind" store, the "Art Mart", and "Peppercorn". These are also obligatory stops for us. We love this time of year, with the trees about to sprout all their leaves, and the tulip bulbs that were planted last fall are all coming to bloom. Next week will be the week to get the awesome tulip pictures on Pearl Street....aw, shoot, we won't be here! I may have to go on Thursday just to get some pics.

Weight wise, I'm still at 164 1/2. I'm ok with that, because I've been exercising alot lately. I did my Body Fat Analysis on the little machine, and it says I have 60 lbs of fat on my body. That means 104.5 lbs of lean. If I'm shooting for about 20% body fat when all is said and done, (which is good for a female) then at my goal of 118 I'll have can maintain my lean body mass, and just lose fat, then at 118 I'll have 23.5 lbs body fat, and 94.5 lbs of lean body mass. So of the 46 lbs I still need to lose, approximately 10 can be from lean and 36 from fat. That's about a 1:4 ratio of lean lost:fat lost until I reach my goal.

Granted, I will not be trying to lose ANY lean. But I'm sure I will. If I didn't lose ANY lean I would be 18% body fat which is EXCELLENT for a female, and at the lower limits of what I would want.

One thing that exercise has done for me is lower my resting pulse dramatically, and increase my oxygenation dramatically. Oxygenation is measured as a percentage, with 100 being the highest (and best) and 90 being the lower limit of what you want...anything under 90% and people start to feel very bad. My husband and I have an oximeter that we can measure our percent oxygen saturation, (for our son) and when we first got it my resting pulse was 90, and my percent saturation was around 96. No, after doing exercise on a consistent basis, my resting heart rate is 55 and my percent oxygen saturation is between 98 and 100. That's after losing over 100 lbs. Talk about an improvement! I'm absolutely thrilled. Those are REAL results.

I may have had a tad too much half and half today, but there are some days (like the day before TOM) that you have to pick your battles. I'd rather have a tablespoon or two too much half and half than a pint of dove ice-cream. You know what I mean.

Bye for now!